Dying to the Past

This dream is fraught with images of letting go of the past, the need to move on, and the Higher Self trying to impart wisdom that we don’t have to be, or continue to drag our past with us. There must be a point where we put down our burden basket and know, truly, that we have done our best and our best is good enough.

 We each have the potential, albeit it hard sometimes, to create better or different for ourselves. I am including part of this dreamers ‘awake’ situation, because it further identifies where her dream is trying to make her realize where her psyche has absorbed the roll of judged, judge and jury.  

Hi Sandy, The dream I had last night is very confusing but I will try my best to describe as it may have a powerful meaning.

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street . She looked angry and upset with me.

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing . She was driving and he was on the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back with my mom. When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird.

After that, Michele and I sat down waiting to be called. There was food on a table for those who wanted to snack on something. After waiting there for a bit, the woman who was staring at me the night before through the window, walked in the room, dressed as a judge. I then turned around and told Michele “She is the judge”!

The end!

If this were my dream…..

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

Dreams of killing someone is often a repressed need to release yourself from something or someone. A lounge signifies someplace where you need to go to rest and regroup, yet when you get there someone has died and you are holding the bloody knife. I think this implies that there is some part of yourself that needs to die to your past, and be released so you can regroup or renew. Blood is our life source energy, and a knife symbolizes something needs to be cut out that is diminishing our life source.

Someone else (another part of your psyche or consciousness), is giving you the knife to bring into your awareness what needs to be let go, because you are possibly not dealing with it. It feels like a ‘set up’ and it is from your Higher Self. You’re exiting your stall (bathroom I am assuming, where we go to ‘release’…and a photographer catches you. You inner ‘recorder of your own personal history’ is making sure you have this on record.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street. She looked angry and upset with me.

Windows often signify ‘doorways to the soul.’ It is large and wide, asking you to change your perspective. The brunette haired woman is looking at you. Woman usually represent the feminine qualities of nurturing and intuition, brown on the Medicine Wheel represents reorganizing what you know, and appraising where you need to change your concretized thoughts. This inner aspect of yourself, the one who wants you to feel nurtured and reorganize the truth of who you are, despite ‘the story’ you have lived thus far, is upset with you. 

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. You are ignoring where you need to nurture yourself more by releasing something of your past that no longer serves you. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. May I kindly suggest you might be holding yourself in jail by not changing something that you already know needs to shift. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing. I mention further down what Michelle and Fabiano mean, but it bears repeating here: Michelle means ‘gift from God’, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’, and mom is (or should be) our first and most primary nurture. So you need to listen to the ‘God’ in yourself, to plant new seeds that will nurture yourself.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing. The God within you is flirting with the new seeds you need to plant towards your future. She was driving (the God within each of us should always be the one driving our life, but we often allow the hurts, the fears, and the past to drive us, this is a good sign.) and he was on the passenger seat (yes, our new seeds are the passengers until we plant them, they are the un-manifested parts of ourselves.) I was sitting in the back with my mom. (Somehow you have taken a back seat to your own wants and needs, and mom sitting there is a reminder to nurture those pieces. You are not ‘driving’ your own life in a joyous, fulfilling way-not a criticism, merely something to look at.) When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. (This signifies (the ID) defining who you are and who you want to be seen as.) She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird. (Maybe because your ID, your true self, is presenting differently than your persona? She can see the real you, can you?)

Further info: Michelle – is friend who I opened up to about my life last Friday after I had an epiphany. I was working on a project for herb class and for a whole month I drank Linden tea; I honestly believe that tea made me feel more grounded, and even more sensitive to what I have been through these past 16 years in this country. She listened to me while I cried non stop at a bar 2 Friday’s back (#2 on the Medicine Wheel represents honoring yourself and bars represent social scenes, but places that we can go astray if we linger too long, or imbibe too much). I felt horrible because we were supposed to be there to have fun and I cried for half of the night, when telling her all I went through since I moved to the US. (Suffering is only good for the soul, if it teaches the soul how to not suffer again. It is not supposed to be a life long punishment. It is a challenge for us to grow, and one we choose to experience for said growth, if I might be so bold to add.) I had never told anyone in details all of that and I have no idea ( maybe the linden?) what prompted me to do that.

Michelle as a name means ‘gift from God’ and is a derivative of Michael.

I am struck that you have been using Linden tea. A few words about the Linden Tree, that you may or may not be aware of that might bring you further ‘epiphanies’ about this dream and your life in general.

  • Linden is good for colds, infections, and mucous-what needs to be released from within
  • It is used to calm anxiety and its scent is said to uplift
  • It was a sacred tree in Germany, Slovenia, where it was seen as a holy tree to repel bad luck and bring joy. And within the Iroquois nation,  it what used in their  tribal False Face Society. The False Face Society represented the spirits that influenced people. Someone who dreamed they were a member, and had it confirmed by another member, had to make a mask from the bark of the Linden without killing the tree. They taught others through wearing these masks how to heal the inner spirit and absorb the joy of life and nature which is endlessly all around us. 

Or maybe the bartender who worked with me 10 years ago at the Cheesecake Factory restaurant and was working, coincidently, at this bar we went to in Boston? The funny thing is that I recognized his face! I looked at him and said : I know you from somewhere. (He did not remember me) Have you worked at the Cheesecake Factory? He said, YES! Once I told him I had worked there as a hostess he remembered me.

Interesting your memory is so strong. My suggestion is this can work for and against you. He did not remember you. You remembered him. That’s an interesting balance that we all need to be aware of in ourselves. Maybe it is time to lay aside some of the memories of your past so you can let go, forgive yourself for how you chose to learn your lessons, and move on to what the evening was supposed to exemplify-happier times.

Fabiano – my brother who just moved back to the US from Hong Kong.

Your brothers long move, might be another reflection of your own need to move on, move forward, or move beyond your personal ‘burden basket.’ Said with much compassion, because I am aware that moving to another country with all that implies: good, bad and indifferent, takes a lot of courage. Ironically, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’ and the soil needs to be tilled, fertilized, and new seeds planted for the bean to grow, plus the bean stalk grows high, reaching for the heavens or consciousness.  Plant new thoughts, and take a higher perspective of your life. Look carefully at all you have been through, what has helped you and what has not….and then find the worth in it, and you 🙂

 

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