Madre Ayahuasca

I have just returned from Peru (a land I simply love after 30 years of re-visiting and studying), and thought I had better write the next dream blog before I set off again taking another group within a week’s time to Damanhur, Italy.

I chose the dream below, in part because I find Mother Ayahuasca a very strong and disciplined teacher, and in part because I know what these ceremonies can bring to the surface. Mother Ayahuasca IS the master arbitrator and decides what will be revealed to you, and what is necessary and timely for your growth.

This person had a dream after returning home from a large Ayahuasca ceremony she had attended in Florida. She states that the Peruvian ayahuascaro, a person who has studied the tradition in the Amazon jungle and learned the icaros (the sacred songs used to modulate the energy of the group within the ceremony), had a couple of assistants to help hold the energy, and a translator named Alberto* from Costa Rica** who was unusual looking, androgynous, but incredibly eloquent. (Watch out for silver tongues.)

She reflected that she was a bit disappointed in the ceremony because there were too many people in attendance and she couldn’t relax. Sleeping was bunk style and she was on the top bunk, and found the up and down annoying. She had the dream the next night when she was at home.

*Alberto means noble and bright, but because it comes from old German, with the Latin form, it also implies someone who is romanticized. Keep this in mind when realizing he was the ‘translator.’ Someone who translates, gives their version, through their lens.

**Costa Rica’s loose unofficial motto is “Pura Vida” which translates as ‘pure life.’ So the translator is suggesting that the ‘dreamer’ become their own arbitrator of ‘pure life’ and what that means for them.

The dream:

There was a little white mouse in a cage, all filled with bedding and wood shavings. It looked like it was stuck and couldn’t move, just its little head was poking out. I reached in to help it free itself an when I did I found that the reason it was trapped was that it had an enormous tumor-many times the size of the mouse-which was buried under the mouse at the bottom of the cage, which had the little mouse immobilized. I scooped my hands under the tumor to lift the mouse out.

In the Seneca tradition white on the Medicine wheel stands for boundaries, as well as magnetism and sharing. Magnetism in this regard is seen as the ability to call to one’s self the people, places and things that help you to grow, and at the same time, to release from your life the people, places and things that no longer support your growth. Mouse is seen as holding a ‘degree of bravery.’ They are adaptable, inventive, curious, and strive for security for themselves and their family. Because they scrutinize everything, when they appear, in a dream or meditation, their message is about “looking at what’s right in front of your eyes”…to scrutinize everything carefully and look for traps that might ensnare you. In the case of this dream, I would share with the dreamer, that the situation with the medicine plant was that it was cautioning her to draw boundaries with one, or some of the people or teachers/translators that were at the ceremony, lest she magnetize to herself energy that was counter to her personal growth and comfort. To scrutinize what she felt about her surroundings/ceremony,  and to feel comfortable to bravely see the ‘big picture’ beyond the ritual. In this case the mouse was part of her dreaming self.

The mouse was trapped in a cage. You were limited. My questions would be, did you feel trapped; or were your surroundings or the situation you were in, influenced by the group energy possibly trapping you to believe something about the medicine or the capabilities of the ayahuascaro? Or perhaps not realize something of the power within yourself. I ask this because the ‘shavings’ the comfort of having someone who was providing adequate space to have the ceremony, in fact hid a huge tumor.  Tumors in dreams can suggest something you are hiding from yourself or are choosing to ignore or deny. It can represent something that is “eating at you.” What was eating at you about this ceremony? It appears you were immobilized to extract yourself from something that was not serving your highest good. But the mouse’s  head was poking out-some part of you intellectually knew this was not for you.

You scooped your hands under the tumor to get the mouse out. Mother Ayahuasca helped, even if you were not consciously aware of it, to get underneath the situation to help you (through the dreamtime) to at least begin to look at, or consider what was ‘eating at you.’ Dreaming of hands is often a sign of self-awareness; so some part of you was conscious of the fact that this wasn’t possibly the best of rituals for you to be involved with (no judgement or criticism here).

Next thing I remember is putting the mouse in an aquarium-type container that had some form of orangish-red sponge foam bits in it, though they seemed as well gelatinous as well as spongy.

You are bringing awareness forward-the aquarium being an object that is glass and therefore transparent. Orange and red on the Medicine Wheel, represent learning what you need to do to organize your thoughts or actions for change, and the red means trusting yourself to be able to have the faith to present your truth about a situation. But it is spongy, which means it is not solidly held within your consciousness yet.

When I put the mouse in, and feeling quite satisfied at having freed it, I looked back to see the weight of the mouse and its tumor, it had sunk down under the spongey stuff and the mouse’s head was under water.

This would suggest to me that part of you realized what was going on (consciously or not), and was accurate in your assessment of the level or limitations of the ayahuascaro (or at least the ceremony), but that emotionally (the water) you gave your intellect (the head) over to him/or the translator as knowing better than you, (getting dragged down by the tumor)….the spongey stuff (suggesting you were easily absorbed or receptive to the information you were being shown), and highlighting the need to independently find your own path, without relying on others influences or the fact that they know better than you.

He didn’t look panicked or anything, he looked like maybe he was holding his breath, or perhaps trying to breathe in the water. I reached my hand in and lifted his head above the water, for which he was grateful and started to breathe again. 

This tells me, that although the experience wasn’t what you were hoping for, or had anticipated, that you didn’t panic, you tried to flow with the emotions it brought up. But by your own admission in the very beginning of setting up the dream, you also stated that you didn’t allow yourself to go as deeply as you might have allowed yourself to go, due to the stress of not only too many people, but too tight a space for that much energy circulating. In that sense, you kept “your head above water” and breathed through the experience. Although you might have been annoyed, you were not taken down by the ritual. This shows that you have a good sense of your personal boundaries and how to protect yourself even in situations that are “eating at you.” 

A little later I looked over and saw that the mouse’s head had detached from his body and was floating around on the top of the water, separate from his body and his tumor. I covered my face with my hands, and spun around saying, “Oh no, how did that happen?” feeling like I had had some part of his demise. Next time I looked at him, the mouse’s head had regenerated a new body-he was alive and was tumor-free and perfect. 

Counter to you believing in the dream that you were part of ‘his’ demise, you were actually part of your own perceptual healing. Separating your intellect from the emotions of the tumor. The head was floating on the water, showing that you need to unite head & heart, to regenerate yourself (tumor free), and then you will feel both freedom, and that what you have to share is perfect for where you find yourself. Thus not romanticizing or denying the capacity of your bright and noble self, as you find the purity within your own life. I might suggest that this was the message of Mother Ayahuasca.