Dolphins at SEE

This dream centers around a specific animal, which is actually a marine mammal. An interesting aside I found out is that dolphins and whales are thought to share a common ancestor with the hippopotamus. All three are seen as animals that bring emotional revitalization. Probably because of their association with water, and water’s association with the element which promotes the clarity of emotional balance.

Fossils discovered in Pakistan over 40 years ago confirm the fact that dolphins transitioned from being land mammals to sea mammals probably due to a rapidly changing environment which necessitated adaptation to an aquatic lifestyle.

In this dream I see the dolphin as an animal totem for this dreamer. Animal totems are often seen as helpers, or a sacred spirit guides, that symbolically represent an aspect of one’s self, as well as a guardian who might have come into one’s dreams or real life environment, temporarily or for a longer period, to assist one through certain life situations.

My First Nations mentors taught me that dolphin’s are “Keepers of the Sacred Breath.” We can live without water or food, but we cannot live without breath. Breathing exercises help us to relax, re-center, and can revitalize us. Gram Twylah suggested that dolphin energy can also help us enter the dreamtime by using the rhythm of the breath.

THE DREAM:

I am with my mother and some other people. Something is bothering me and I go outside to swim. The water is more like liquid clay and is grayish bluish and white. As I stand in the water I noticed dolphins are swimming and I wonder if they will come near me.

One of the dolphins comes right up to me and looks me in the eye and a grab on to his fin and go for a ride. I am loving  swimming with the dolphins.

My mother comes out and begins to Yell at me to not swim with the dolphins because they are dangerous. I get out of the water and I tell my mother she doesn’t understand about dolphins. She walks away and when she does, I continue telling her that I have been on a trip to swim with dolphins before. She is not listening to me.

I look in the water and the second dolphin is waiting for me.

THE DECODING:

I am with my mother and some other people. Something is bothering me and I go outside to swim. The water is more like liquid clay and is grayish bluish and white. As I stand in the water I noticed dolphins are swimming and I wonder if they will come near me.

As I have said many times, everyone in the dream is who they are, representing the issues they have brought into your life (good, dense or indifferent), but also an aspect of the Self. In this case the dreamer is dealing with remembrances of her mother, as well as how she may or may not have learned how to nurture herself, based on that mothering relationship.

There are other unnamed people there, which I believe represent other aspects of herself, whose voices she hasn’t learned are there to help her. She is bothered by this lack of relationship with herself and how to nurture or mother herself in more positive ways. She goes outside for a swim. Swimming in dreams means trying to navigate emotions, and can also include the need to revitalize and renew one’s feelings about something.

Instead of clear water it is like liquid clay. Those emotions are hard to access or navigate, she may or may not have the confidence to give to herself what might not have been given to her as a child. Clay in dreams indicates difficulty. The difficulties center around the colors–gray, blue and white.

On the Wisdom wheels those colors have to do with a variety of truths which need to be faced. Gray has to do with assessing how one does not honor one’s self. Blue has to do with being in servitude to the past or an old story, and needing to learn how to release that story to better serve the self. And white, has to do with both creating appropriate boundaries as well as learning to release what nolonger serves (like childhood hurts and losses) and attract that which could (new ways of navigating one’s life with more joy).

While standing in those emotions, she sees a dolphin and wonders if it will approach her. Dolphins indicate joy, playfulness, movement and clarity but the also are symbols of resurrection, rebirth, intellect and fierce protection. This is the path she is trying to approach-playfulness without protection; spontaneous emotions not always navigated with intellect. That can be done externally with others for a time, but eventually needs to be embraced internally as the ultimate source that will bring balance and self-love.

One of the dolphins comes right up to me and looks me in the eye and I grab on to his fin and go for a ride. I am loving  swimming with the dolphins.

Eyes can appear in many ways in the dreamtime, and signify many things. When something looks you straight in the eye, it is purposefully trying to get your attention. Likewise, eyes are the ‘windows to the soul’, so this spirit guide is making a soul connection to impart its wisdom.

The dreamer is ready to take in that lesson as she grabs the dolphin’s fin and goes for a ride. I would ask the dreamer if the water content changed? Was this just a ride for fun, or a ride to learn to embrace something that is needed to recognize a more fully actualized self? She admits she enjoys swimming with the dolphin, but is she addressing the deeper issues of self-nurturance or just a momentary release from how those emotions impact? That would bring more information as a decoder in assisting the dreamer.

My mother comes out and begins to Yell at me to not swim with the dolphins because they are dangerous. I get out of the water and I tell my mother she doesn’t understand about dolphins. She walks away and when she does, I continue telling her that I have been on a trip to swim with dolphins before. She is not listening to me.

Now the issue comes back. Mother yelling (the dreamer’s capitalization), showing that relationship was possibly contentious and not nurturing. It could also denote the fear and/or dangerous feelings experienced as a child. The dreamer steps back from the emotions (both her own as child, and her current as adult), and argues that there is still a need to understand emotional flow, joy, buoyancy, and natural playfulness while still feeling protected.

The image of Mother walking away is a clear indication that mother didn’t listen to the dreamer as a child or instill a sense of safety. That said, the dreamer has been with dolphins before showing that as an adult she is trying to self care in ways that bring her what she didn’t receive when young. She in the “mother now” and she has to learn to uplift her “inner child” now. Is she listening to what her inner child needs of her?

I look in the water and the second dolphin is waiting for me.

This is a great part to the dream. It shows me the dreamer is willing to try again, no matter what it takes. The joy and love and clarity and rebirth that dolphin represents, is always there waiting for her to partake and learn more fully about herself and her needs. It shows her stamina and desire for self-growth.

Thank you dreamer for sharing your dream.

This Was Scary

This particular dreamer didn’t actually name the dream this title, but expressed when sent, that it was scary. I had hoped to have this out for Hallowmas/Samhain last night because it was so charged energetically and astrologically, but Alas!! gremlins in my machine, LOL.

To recap Samhain is a time to thank and forgive the ancestors and those who have passed. It was a full moon, blue moon as it was also the second full moon in a month, so it was reflecting and accentuating that energy. We also had Uranus (unexpected reveals & shake ups) in a tight conjunction with the full moon. And, Mars & Mercury are retrograde. Today is All Souls’ Day. Lots to unpack energetically (not to mention the election, no matter which side you are on, it will be epic).

My sense is our ancestors or those that have crossed, are really trying to help us now, as the veil is the thinnest between the dimensions. This dreamer was visited by someone who has crossed, and that’s why I chose this dream.

The Dream:

I parked my car at a gas/convenience store and was walking around a downtown area. It had a ‘weekend’ feel to it. Every time I went back in my car, I felt like someone had ‘done something’ to it or been in it.  At one point I was at a yard sale and wanted a shelf that had a doll on it. The woman told me to just take the shelf – don’t pay her. Someone took the doll off the shelf and there were some younger girls there too just watching all of this.  

When I got back to the gas station/convenience store, I was walking around the parking lot talking on my phone to Stella (who has passed). When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

I feel like I was home later and in the driver’s seat and a large, angry man, with a round face and jowls came at me and the car. I don’t know if he said it, or I just read his mind – saying ‘I’m going to kill you!’  Stella (who, again, is not on this earth and I didn’t even realize was in the car) screamed ‘No!’ as the man’s fist landed on my roof and dented it in, and he then hit the driver’s door. I woke up. 

The Decoding:

I parked my car at a gas/convenience store and was walking around a downtown area. It had a ‘weekend’ feel to it. Every time I went back in my car, I felt like someone had ‘done something’ to it or been in it. 

A car often suggests the physical body, as our body’s are a vehicle to help move us forward. The dreamer needs to be refueled and have things come easier or be more convenient, hence the gas station and convenience store. It has a ‘weekend feel’ to it, hinting that life might be a bit stressful right now, or perhaps the physical body needs more movement to feel at ease.

The dreamer feels that every time they need to address the physical body, or perhaps physical body issues, it either requires outside intervention to feel more comfortable with the Self, or perhaps, three people from the past who have not treated the dreamer’s body well or with respect. Something has been done or suggested, to give the dreamer a poor sense of Self.

At one point I was at a yard sale and wanted a shelf that had a doll on it. The woman told me to just take the shelf – don’t pay her. Someone took the doll off the shelf and there were some younger girls there too just watching all of this. 

Yard sales in dreams can be about recycling past experiences, which would support either the dreamer, or someone from the dreamer’s past, did not treating the body well. Or potentially the dreamer continues to demean their own body, through false beliefs arrived at in the past.

Looking for a shelf might be the dreamer trying to delay addressing bodily issues felt, or perhaps setting a course towards understanding that the body needs adjustments, but has put that knowing aside to deal with at a future time. It is the denial of taking the situation into one’s own control and removing the issues felt or believed. It is suggested to her by the woman to just take the shelf and don’t pay, but when we deny the needs of the physical body we pay in other ways down-the-line.

There is a doll on the shelf, dolls are lifeless. It is on the shelf meaning a part of this dreamer has never accessed true life source energy nor potentially felt joy in the physical body. Dolls also take us back to childhood; the dreamer again is being taken back in time. It could be the bodily impressions were set in childhood, either from a lack of support or harm done to.

There are young girls there just watching. I guess my question is how many young girls are left feeling their body is not a sacred vehicle for joy and life as they had once dreamt it would be; or how many other young girls are rendered ‘lifeless in their dreams’ with no support? How many have body dysmorphia? This is one of the most important clues for the dreamer to look into deeper.

When I got back to the gas station/convenience store, I was walking around the parking lot talking on my phone to Stella (who has passed). When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

When the dreamer gets back to a place where they can refuel (a time in life created), they still do not own the body (not in the car), merely walking around the parking lot. This implies they are still not clear who to turn to for support. In this case the dreamer is reaching out for help – on the phone is seeking communication or assistance.

We are told Stella has passed on. Stella means star. Taken one step further, Stella, is also the named called out famously in the film, A Street Car Named Desire. The dead are beyond the veil; the stars are above our head’s in the darkest of night representing light and hope; Marlon Brando yelling the name Stella in the film, is yelling for tranquility and peace as Stella represents calm to Blanche’s hysteria.

Question: What are you crying out for, hoping for, wanting to be lit up in your life, that you are not going after? The car is stationary, and the shelf has parked your dreams.

When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

As we move through the dream, [although the dreamer still hasn’t occupied the car/physical bodily actions], we see now that the driver’s door (where one would sit to move the car forward), and the windows are partially open. Consciousness is opening the dreamer to the fact that they are the only one who can take control. It’s raining slightly, meaning this is emotional, but won’t necessarily be overwhelming to address at this age and stage.

The dreamer asks for someone at the store to check the security tapes. The dreamer still wants to feel secure to approach this information or past memories that may have been shelved for a long while. The store (signifying where memories are stored), say ‘a man did this’. So the question becomes whether physical, emotional, or mentally packed away….whose voice or actions or lack of support impacted the dreamer’s abilities to move forward in life with light, hope, calm and feeling safe in the body ?

I feel like I was home later and in the driver’s seat and a large, angry man, with a round face and jowls came at me and the car. I don’t know if he said it, or I just read his mind – saying ‘I’m going to kill you!’  Stella (who, again, is not on this earth and I didn’t even realize was in the car) screamed ‘No!’ as the man’s fist landed on my roof and dented it in, and he then hit the driver’s door. I woke up. 

The dreamer is now home, and in the driver’s seat, indicating they are ready to take action for them self and that they feel safe to do so. They still need to deal with the “boogie” man, this angry person who represents someone who has felt threatening in some capacity in the past to this dreamer’s vision of Self. The “scary part” of the dream is now upon the dreamer. If the dreamer confronts this past fear and/or lack of bodily worth, will the false beliefs held in the mind about the Self need to die? What will replace that? What will that mean to reformate a whole new vision of one’s self?

This voice from the past (the part of the dreamer that is actually ‘stellar’), reflects back to the dreamer the light and peace now needed to move forward fully embodied. The dreamer never even knew that was ‘within’ all along. It screams NO. In other words, the dreamer is ready to say no to any past influences that have impacted a stronger sense of Self and worth. With caution and respect to whatever happened in the past to this dreamer, we now see the impact….as either there was physical violence, physical demeaning, or a physical threat that was scary. But that is not occurring now. The dream is showing this is a new opportunity to have a healthier vision of Self.

Time to change Scared to Sacred. Thank you dreamer for sharing your dream.

Memories

Tried to get this out in September, but it’s been an ‘interesting’ month. So it comes out instead on October 1st with the full moon in Aries, and seeing as this is a Blue Moon month (two full moons in a month), I will do another dream blog on October 31st when we will have another full moon, only that one is in Taurus.

The following dream is really intriguing, which is why I chose it for the month. Many people have been writing me recently telling me that their dream-time has changed. That they are dreaming deeply—about people from their past, past lives, historical events, finding themselves in alternate realities and timelines with/without people from this timeline.

This fits right in with everything happening both astrologically and within the dimensional shift we are passing through. We are being given an opportunity to change the influences of this timeline, to experience something better moving forward. We are at a pivotal point; a 26,000 age change-Pisces to Aquarius/a 5,126 cultural change-less patriarchal and more balanced divine feminine; and a 260,000 year shift back to an alignment with the central sun of Galactic Center.

If time is not linear, but concurrent, then this vibrational shift allows us to change old frequencies, so we do not experience a remake of what we literally came here at this point in time/space to correct. I know that sounds big. It is. And, it is an amazing opportunity to be here and get it right this time. We can all feel we are in a pivotal time.

Everything is vibration, and all we are responsible for in our tiny part of the contract, is holding the higher frequency of light, no matter how dark it appears sometimes. It is a waking dream. We are dreaming ourselves awake, and our nightly sojourns are pointing the way to what we need to either embrace, forgive, expand or release.

The Dream:

I woke up with the name Holyoke in my consciousness, clear as a bell, after the following dream.

Colonial America, small village setting, by/in a river. I am witnessing some sort of ritual or proceeding. I am standing solemnly with my hands clasped in from of me. I am on a “barge” or small floating raft. Others, mainly women and some men, are present. One of them holds a rope with the other end tethered to a trunk that is floating or being dragged/towed through the water. I am not clear what is in the trunk, but it is a focus and matter of great importance.

Suddenly I find myself in the water, it is nighttime, and I am startled, shocked, afraid to be in the water. I calm down and allow myself to sink to the bottom and feel the sandy bottom, not too far below, and I am reassured.

The dream shifts. I am in the village, speaking with/witnessing some men who are talking about a situation that is plaguing their village. An owner of the general store offers to donate some items that look like socks made of rough wool. In the dream, I suggest or understand that they can be used as facemasks (Covid) to help with the situation. The idea is met with mixed reception.

Aside: Upon awakening I search Holyoke and find that it is a colonial town on a river in Massachusetts settled in the mid-17th century. Later the thought occurs to me that the dream had the feeling of a trial – witches? I search Holyoke and witch trials and find that Elizur Holyoke was the uncle of Sam Putnam an important accuser of the Salem witch trials. Ann Putnam (daughter of Sam) was a witness at the trials.

Decoding:

I woke up with the name Holyoke in my consciousness, clear as a bell, after the following dream.

It is very important in decoding, to note the first thing that comes to mind upon waking. That is often where a title, overall feeling of the dream, or a key to understanding the dream appears. It is like the last vestiges of your unconscious getting the ‘last word’ up to your conscious mind.

I want to add here that I will flip back and forth with the decoding. From Gram Twylah’s explanations, this dream feels like a cross-over dream (one that takes us to inter or multi-dimensional time lines), or perhaps a past life dream (helping one understand a karmic pattern)…but it is also a dream personal to the dreamer’s current life.

Word play is important. Holyoke is a town in MA, yes. Holy Yoke. So when you are yoked to something you can be under the control of someone else’s influence; or caught in a pattern that you are purposefully being made aware of; or are being offered information current to a life issue that you must look at to release. So I would ask the dreamer, “What about the ‘holy’ or spiritual work that he does either feels burdensome, inauthentic to where he is going, or perhaps has not been incorporated freely into his life, but rather yoking him to a concept. Our spiritual domain should be freeing, despite its concepts.

Colonial America, small village setting, by/in a river. I am witnessing some sort of ritual or proceeding. I am standing solemnly with my hands clasped in from of me.

Colonial America was a time when people from all over ‘old Europe’ were migrating to the ‘new world’ to find freedom, religious expression, and exploration. It was also a fairly Puritanical religious time in many areas of the new world. The dreamer could be experiencing a past life bleed-through of memory of another life, or this could be referring to his current spiritual or religious beliefs that he is exploring in this life that for some reason feel restrictive.

The Puritans were hard working, wanting the freedom to express their religious beliefs and create a new way of life for themselves. But they were stringent in their practices, imposing those rules, after escaping other rules that had been imposed on them. They set the foundation, especially in New England, for the economic, political and social acceptable norms for years to come.

Is the dreamer looking for freedom to his express a new form of religious or spiritual beliefs or practices? Does he feel judged by others concerning those new practices? I would ask the dreamer, especially in regards to the word ‘yoked,’ if he is feeling bound to this practice, or adjudged due to his practices? His hands are clasped solemnly, he is participating in a somber way, but counter-intuitively isn’t spirituality (despite having solemn moments) supposed to come with joy & lightness of being. Again a question: Are you taking your practices so seriously that you are not having fun with the practice itself? That’s Holy Yoked.

I am on a “barge” or small floating raft. Others, mainly women and some men, are present. One of them holds a rope with the other end tethered to a trunk that is floating or being dragged/towed through the water. I am not clear what is in the trunk, but it is a focus and matter of great importance.

He is at a river (as shared earlier in the dream), rivers have movement, they are water, and water indicates emotions. He is on a raft, indicating he is looking for support in navigating the emotions that have brought him to this ritual. Paying attention to the type of raft, and the way the water is flowing would be important.

There are men and women present; in all likelihood there are men and women in the spiritual work he is involved in during this lifetime as well. Spiritual and religious groups always involve members that unite with similar belief systems and allegiances.

Ropes in dreams shows that you have a connection to something. But it is being dragged, connoting it might not be moving of its own volition. I also say that because he does not know what is in the trunk. The trunk is about protection, or holding a possession, or something that you lock away. Another respectful question: What might you be dragging along in a group experience that feels reverent or solemn to you, but you are still feeling disconnected or unclear about? Are you putting too much value on it? Or perhaps do you hide away its import to you for fear of being criticized for its beliefs externally?

Suddenly I find myself in the water, it is nighttime, and I am startled, shocked, afraid to be in the water. I calm down and allow myself to sink to the bottom and feel the sandy bottom, not too far below, and I am reassured.

Night-time indicates there might be confusion about something and you are struggling to understand it, or “have the light go on” for more clarity. Like the dreamtime, you need to go within to discover what that is. Now you are also in the water (the emotions of it all) and are shocked and afraid. What is coming up for you in the present time that may be eliciting these feelings around your ‘holy work’?

By sinking to the bottom, it means you are looking to feel calmer by finding a firmer foundation to stand on, thus helping you to reassure yourself that you have made the right choice. But the bottom, although a foundation and not too far under you, is sandy. Sand is still not stable. This indicates you are still searching within the practice to reassure yourself that this is your path, or that ‘this spiritual path’ will help to ground you more fully in your day to day.

The dream shifts. I am in the village, speaking with/witnessing some men who are talking about a situation that is plaguing their village. An owner of the general store offers to donate some items that look like socks made of rough wool. In the dream, I suggest or understand that they can be used as facemasks (Covid) to help with the situation. The idea is met with mixed reception.

Men-your Divine Masculine is discussing a plague. This is symbolic of an aspect that you know and rely on for understanding your world and needing to deal with something that is shaking it up. Plagues can be general or specific. While it is true we are in Covid (and those influences can color a dream scene), and it is true that plagues could take out villages in past eras, plagues in dreams often indicate fear or anxiety around something that is not totally understood.

The general store indicates there is a place or group where you can go to, to share or discuss some of your general concerns. The owner would be someone who you might feel is more ‘in charge of disseminating the information to the group.” He gives you a sock, made of rough wool.

Socks are for the feet, and feet ground you to the Earth realms, to a practice, or to a belief. Socks protect your feet (while walking forward on a new path), and provide comfort and/or warmth. This is something you are looking for, within your group or within your practice-comfort and grounding. These are made of wool, which indicates you are trustworthy, deserve to feel better about yourself, and possibly (because on occasion wool can be associated with finances), that you can make money through grounding and teaching this practice?

You understand that they can be used as a face mask….yes, masks would play into the dream given our current affairs with covid….but it is suggesting not to hide who you are and what you know. That you can be more out front with your beliefs and teachings, to be seen by others for who you are. You have mixed feelings about that, in all likelihood due to a comfort level of being seen in that capacity, and so wearing it as a mask instead feels more cautionary to you.

Aside: Upon awakening I search Holyoke and find that it is a colonial town on a river in Massachusetts settled in the mid-17th century. Later the thought occurs to me that the dream had the feeling of a trial – witches? I search Holyoke and witch trials and find that Elizur Holyoke was the uncle of Sam Putnam an important accuser of the Salem witch trials. Ann Putnam (daughter of Sam) was a witness at the trials.

Now we have your ‘waking aside.’ Here in lies the key to your caution, like the word Holyoke. Though conjecture on my part, you could have been involved in a past life with others who judged those of differing beliefs/faiths/practices. There might have been (from any time line) a desire to have your religious beliefs be THE beliefs of your community or village at the time. Hence feeling judged or your own self judgement in this life. AND, just as easily you could have been punished for the beliefs you held, like those persecuted at the witch trials by false accusations, and so you are cautious about being all in with a new spiritual path you might be exploring. It’s easier for most people to think they were the persecuted rather than the persecutor, but we have all been both-the victim and the victimizer. We must look at both within us. The dream shows your struggle.

Thank you dreamer for sharing your dreamscape.

The Hunt for Self

I am leaving the title the dreamer offered for this dream, as that is one of the methods that I teach in my dream classes for decoding. The title tends to encapsulate the undercurrent of the dream message.

Without giving more away, this dreamer discovered there was an issue with something she was using, that for her, was making her unhealthy. Without criticism, the ‘crutches’ that we all normally use to distract us, or take us away from our center, can make us feel more vulnerable because we then have more clarity to look at our emotions or the issues that we’ve tried to escape.

Title:  Exposed

I dreamt that I came home and our living room window was broken.  (It was not our house we live in now.  It was a different house). I was shocked when I realized the couch was gone and everything else in the room.  I thought, I can’t live like this.  Do we need to put bars on our window?

Later the dream shifted and I was perusing a stranger’s home.  There was a dog there and I was looking for a leash so I could take him out.  I had no idea how long it had been since the dog went out.  

There were 3 small beds set up in the kitchen.  At first, I thought it was an efficiency apartment until I found a bigger bedroom out back. The apartment was L-shaped and I thought this is negative Feng Shui. 🙂  I never found the leash.  I woke up shortly thereafter.  

DECODING:

I dreamt that I came home and our living room window was broken.  (It was not our house we live in now.  It was a different house). I was shocked when I realized the couch was gone and everything else in the room.  I thought, I can’t live like this.  Do we need to put bars on our window?

I love this first line, I feel it is the most important statement of this dream.

The dreamer, with the actions she has previously taken in her waking life to self-medicate, and having removed said substance that created limitations in her self-awareness, is finally coming back to her self for review. But it doesn’t feel natural or at home to her just yet. Houses in part, represent the physical body, and each room and each level of a house, says something to the dreamer about the greater self. 

However upon arriving home (to the self), it is not the home/body she is used to, because she is experiencing different emotions or sensations in her body now. The picture window is broken. Windows represent doorways to the soul’s knowing or self understanding. It is broken, meaning she will need to reacquaint herself, with Herself, and that feels vulnerable. Something feels exposed.

Couches are what we relax on, so the ways that she may have used to relax in the past, are now gone for her. Including everything else in her ‘living’ room (how she lived before) that may have supported how she chose to relax, disengage, avoid deeper emotions, etc. She doesn’t know if she can do it this way, understandably.  Putting bars on the windows suggests either that she feels she is in a bit of a jail with this choice, or counter intuitively, she feels locked into her choice.

Later the dream shifted and I was perusing a stranger’s home.  There was a dog there and I was looking for a leash so I could take him out.  I had no idea how long it had been since the dog went out.  

Now she is in “a stranger’s house.” She has to get to know herself in a different ways. This new way of being in her body feels a bit foreign, at least to her subconscious self, despite knowing that her waking self made the right, healthier decision to move forward.

There is a dog there (aside: I would have liked to have known the color or breed of the dog, as that would have told me more), but in the same way that the bars would force some sort of control, now the leash also represents needing to control something, or at least directing it externally in a way that feels less exposed.

In the First Nations tradition, dog stands for loyalty, but not to something external rather to something internal to the self.  Dogs also stands for how we pursue our ability to to both play, and do our profession, with more awareness of our own needs and desires. They can also signify that we have to improve a relationship (either to the self or other), and are associated with how we care for something (herself perhaps) in the waking life.

“She has no idea how long it has been since the dog was let out.” She may have been using a couple of forms or items to distract herself from dealing with deeper emotions for a long time now. How long has it been since she was truly, and completely, able to love herself, simply for who she is. This awareness won’t arrive in one day or with eliminating a substance or two, that is merely the beginning of a deeper dive.

There were 3 small beds set up in the kitchen.  At first, I thought it was an efficiency apartment until I found a bigger bedroom out back. The apartment was L-shaped and I thought this is negative Feng Shui. 🙂  I never found the leash.  I woke up shortly thereafter.  

The kitchen is where we go to nurture our self. There are 3 small beds set up. 3 is the number of change, but it is also a way to learn about our Self: maiden/mother/crone; Father, Mother, child; our Divine Masculine, Divine Feminine and Divine Spark of Self. Beds are about relaxing, and sleeping, which is another method for self-care.

At first she thought this would be an easy fix, quick process, small thing to overcome–efficiency apartment–where she had come to compartmentalize how she saw or experienced herself. But the bigger bedroom ‘out back’ shows her this is a deeper dive, or bigger issue to explore, than she may have originally thought. With clearer vision of why we have made some of the choices we have made in our life, we also need to acknowledge and forgive ourselves for how we chose to learn certain lessons.

The bedroom suggests that she needs to ‘rest’ in the awareness’s that will be bubbling up, either through the dreamtime, or self analysis (be that within one’s self or with a professional). The L-shape is significant in esoteric terms to mean’ EL’ or God, it is also described in some culture’s hieroglyphic symbology as a ‘hook.’ So the question becomes will the dreamer work more deeply with the God within, or get hooked again (not by a substance necessarily), but by other ways that avoid looking at what needs to be emotionally addressed? An L is also taking a right angle to explore something new.

Something about her process of self exploration still feels like it is ‘negative.’ Not because she is negative, but possibly because she feels vulnerable to what will be exposed.  Feng Shui is basically arranging things to be in flow energetically, so this is her self-work moving forward. And, ironically, she never found the leash…what she was looking for to control where she needs to be directed next; it’s all new ground for discovering and uncovering.

Thank you dreamer

 

“Life’s A Gift And I Don’t Intend On Wasting It.” Jack from the Titanic

This will be a very short blog, mainly because it is absolutely too hot to stay at the computer for very long. I also want to focus once again, that although everyone in the dream is an external representation of who they are in the dreamer’s world, they also represent an aspect of the self that is trying to make itself known to the dreamer. That applies to any of us. The one time it might not, is if the dream is a precognitive dream, giving you a distinct direction about something or someone concerning a future event. 

Precognitive dreams are very visceral and tap fully into one’s 6th sense, often predicting something in the future (it might be the distant future and thus forgotten upon waking until it happens you have a déjà vu moment of remembering). Precognitive dreams can happen alot to some dreamers, and do not necessarily speak about huge or tragic events. Though they may seem mundane, they are often pointing you in a specific direction.

In a precognitive dream, the dreamer is rarely in the dream his/her self, they are more the observer, although the dream is in full vivid detail. Pay attention to the ‘feeling’ of the dream. While most dreams are entirely personal to the dreamer, like the one below, as Edgar Cayce suggested, “Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions.” That’s why I always encourage you to keep a dream journal….down the road an earlier documented dream might uncover itself.

THE DREAM:

I had a dream. Julie and (XXX) were in it. My childhood friend Karen was in it. Cos was in it. There was some sort of gathering and we were all working in pairs. I was with Karen and Cos. Cos was outside and was using sign language to communicate with me. I couldn’t understand all that he was saying, so I went outside to talk to him.

Julie was working with someone else and won a car. Cos told (XXX) that Julie was giving her the car. (XXX) said, “Well we will see where they all end up.” Mostly because someone else won a car and mentioned they were going to give it to (XXX) too. Someone said, I think one of the leaders, if (XXX) were in charge the Titanic would not have sunk.
The ending was awesome I woke up smiling!

DECODING:

I had a dream. Julie and (XXX) were in it. My childhood friend Karen was in it. Cos was in it. There was some sort of gathering and we were all working in pairs.

I asked the dreamer to give me one word for each of the people in her dream. Julie was kind; XXX was confident; Cos was communicative; Karen was trustworthy. So the dreamer’s personal symbology is pointing her to examples of aspects she holds, consciously or unconsciously within her self. It is through the lens of what each of these people represent to her, that her inner pantheon is trying to speak to her.

All these parts of herself are gathering in her dream to teach or introduce her to something about herself. Think of sitting across the table from each of these components of yourself and being guided towards something you need to become aware of, believe in, uncover or step up to concerning your waking life experience.

They are all working in pairs, making her aware of how she may compartmentalize some of these characteristics within herself. Pairs also indicate bonding, so the overall influence of the dream is to have her bond with these parts of herself.

I was with Karen and Cos. Cos was outside and was using sign language to communicate with me. I couldn’t understand all that he was saying, so I went outside to talk to him.

She was with her childhood friend “Trustworthy” and the “Communicative” part of herself. But, the communicative part of herself is ‘outside’ signifying that she may not always trust her own inner guidance. He is using sign language. Sign Language is used when someone is deaf. The question therefore becomes, “What part of herself is not listening to, or having a hard time being confident in, so she can meet her own needs?” By going outside to speak to him, it shows she is curious enough to be able to communicate with herself on a deeper level, and possibly needs to stop seeking outside validation by ‘trusting’ her inner compass around some situation or circumstance.

Julie was working with someone else and won a car. Cos told (XXX) that Julie was giving her the car. (XXX) said, “Well we will see where they all end up.” Mostly because someone else won a car and mentioned they were going to give it to (XXX) too.

The dreamer says Julie, the ‘Kind” part of herself (I know this dreamer, she is VERY kind), was working with someone else, but doesn’t name that person. As such, in the decoding, I would label that unnamed entity is the most important aspect of this dream sequence, because it is an unnamed aspect of herself, and possibly even unknown to herself. It is the part of herself trying to come to the surface of her own knowing, to be an empowering force helping her to move forward in her life.

Cars in dreams can reflect the physical body, so this dream might have something to do with a physical body issue or concern. Julie, the ‘kind’ aspect of the dreamer’s persona wants her to be kinder to, or focus more, on her body.  Cos, the ‘communicative’ part of the dreamer, says the car is going to XXX. Remember this person XXX represents “Confidence,” so whatever the physical issue is, these aspects of her Higher Self are trying to have her be confident in the process of the discovery and outcome.

XXX, her ‘Confidence’ is saying “we will see where this all ends up,” precisely because the dreamer still hasn’t embodied feeling the true confidence she needs to embrace from within, moving forward. The reason: because ‘someone else’ won a car and is giving it to XXX. This implies to me that her self confidence is still balanced on someone outside her self giving her the information or permission to care-take what she should focus on for her physical body’s needs.

Someone said, I think one of the leaders, if (XXX) were in charge the Titanic would not have sunk.
The ending was awesome I woke up smiling!

One of the aspects Kind, Communicative or Trustworthy says if Confidence were in charge of the physical body moving forward, the Titanic would not have sank. This suggests to me, that if she can embrace more of her own self-confidence, that whatever she is working on, or through, will not fail. 

An interesting aside, the dream turns here at the end to make the same point, only a larger symbol so the dreamer ‘gets it’. The Titanic (the physical ship-the physical body like the cars in the dream) hit an iceberg (a big issue that damaged it). Icebergs are known to have only about 10% above the waterline, while the bigger issue that makes it so dangerous, is the other 90% below the surface. What is this dreamer’s 90% of emotions below the surface that may be affecting the issue at hand, and needs for the dreamer to have more confidence in herself?

The Titanic received multiple warnings of the icefield ahead, and the captain was going too fast, trying to beat the record of the sister ship, The White Star. Possibly the dreamer needs to slow down, by not care taking everyone else’s needs. Like Rose in the Titanic, who says, “I will never let go”, maybe she does need to let go? A hundred percent of her self needs to address her own self-care. It is time to let go of the 10% on the surface that impacts her confidence because she is emotionally worried about others, and let them fend for themselves; to address the things that impede her confidence; and to concentrate on that unresolved 90% below her own surface to have an awesome, happy ending to her own current concerns.

Thank you dreamer. I am constantly blown away by the information given to us by our dreaming-self. Again, it is why I suggest dream journaling; it’s a powerful tool of self discover and self awareness.

 

 

Bird on the Wire

This will be a shorter dream blog, with not a lot of initial teaching comments in the beginning. Not because I usually don’t have lots to say (LOL), but sometimes there is also nothing to say because it is a time for listening, for reformatting and waiting for a sign to get the message.

Aside: I know we are all stretched during these chaotic times. So many ideas, paradigms and people need healing, whether that’s individually, family wise, within communities, environmentally, or globally. Talking with clients, friends, family and international connections, I hear the same thing: we’re overwhelmed; we’re just unclear; we’re afraid; we’re trying to believe; we want this to change…….these are times that are certainly testing our souls. We are in the chrysalis of change and rebirth. We are in the transition that has the potential to bring us to something new. But what do you/me/we wish to manifest?

I believe at the heart of it that humanity is mostly good. I believe anyone who has done their homework over the years has known something big, and life changing was coming. No one can ever really predict the how, or the when with pinpoint accuracy, but it seems that 2020, Covid and financial change is how it has unfolded. Whether ‘the new’ will be good or bad is up to us; we always have a choice. In part it is why I chose this dream for this month.

As I end most of my FB tarot postings, the best we can do for ourselves and for each other in these becoming times, is to: Stay Safe, Stay Centered, and Stay Kind.

THE DREAM

I dreamt I went to see (XXX) for a healing and I was running late.  (XXX) had a really beautiful, cozy apartment.  I went to the bathroom and there was a hammered copper wood stove.  While I was in this little washroom, I could see little birds perched through thin netting between me and the birds (like mosquito netting) with light from outside shining on them, including the tiny silhouette of a hummingbird perched on a branch.  (XXX) entered and the birds flew away.  Later, around her kitchen table I asked about books (XXX) recommended.  Through the dream I could feel my root chakra pulsing.

The Decoding:

I dreamt I went to see (XXX) for a healing and I was running late.  (XXX) had a really beautiful, cozy apartment. 

I asked the dreamer about this person who was named in her dream, and she said the word that came to mind was Wise Woman. So although we have other folks show up in our dreams, they not only represent who they are to us in the outer world, but the part of one’s self that we need to recognize and honor whilst we acknowledge that in the inner-self.

I would suggest that this dreamer look within, because some part of her doesn’t want her to linger any longer not knowing the wisdom she carries within herself. And, when she is able to relax into that knowing, she will see how beautiful her inner wise woman self is, and how much work she has done to develop ‘her.’

Apartments (similarly to houses) in a dream signify a place of comfort, safety and the protection you’ve built for yourself. To acknowledge our inner beauty is a good thing, so my sense is this dreamer is feeling more comfortable and settled within her life now and within her residence now too, whether that be her body or her physical abode.

I went to the bathroom and there was a hammered copper wood stove. 

Bathrooms represent where we need to still release, or wash clean. When something is hammered, it is molded into a new form. Copper has a wide array of healing properties and has been used successfully to detoxify, conduct and enhance spiritual energy between people, crystals, auras, etc. And wood stoves symbolize something that brings warmth and nourishment. So in this sense the dreamer is ready to release some beliefs, situations, or people from her past and reformat new opportunities that will bring healing, warmth, and nourishment to herself and others within the space she calls home.

While I was in this little washroom, I could see little birds perched through thin netting between me and the birds (like mosquito netting) with light from outside shining on them, including the tiny silhouette of a hummingbird perched on a branch. 

Within the process of her washing away old story loops, beliefs or simply ways of being that no longer serve the direction she is moving toward, she sees little birds. Birds have been very symbolic in many cultures signifying hope, peace and new found joy. Birds suggest that everything is becoming lighter and falling into place. They signify something good is coming.  [I don’t know the species of bird or their colors, but that would have given more information for the dreamer to consider.]

In this case there is mosquito netting between the birds and herself. I am going to suggest that there is still someone or something that is an annoyance to her that she needs to deal with to move forward. Mosquitos represent an annoying bug, and the netting represents you no longer wish to let their influence in, and have started to build a thin boundary between them/that and yourself to help you accomplish more autonomy. It is not a big deal because she can see the birds clearly and the light is shining on them, so there is some distance from the irritation already. But there may be someone or something that is still in her way that she needs to “fly away from” or release, to feel free. Birds also represent the mental Body as the wings represent the two hemispheres of the brain, so this could be an old belief or story that she still allows to influence her sense of self.

She can see the tiny silhouette of a hummingbird. Her future path is there for her to create and enliven. Hummingbirds are used in love charms in some indigenous cultures; they represent joy, beauty and flexibility, because the can move in any direction. In Peru the air in the mountains gets so cold at night, that they look like they have died, but with the sun’s rays they rise again, so there is a sense of rebirth about them as well. In the Andean Mystical Tradition, they carry the message for humanity to the Hanaq Pacha, or the higher realms (also discussed as the supra-consciousness from a Jungian view point), where they fertilize the flowers in the Garden of Wirachocha, God….the flowers represent each of us.

So to be in her joy, to feel enlivened in her work, and to know she can be flexible with herself and move in multiple directions to accomplish what she wants/desires, it is important to use this period as a rebirth or reconstruction time. This also can symbolize a future birth as well.

(XXX) entered and the birds flew away.  Later, around her kitchen table I asked about books (XXX) recommended.  Through the dream I could feel my root chakra pulsing.

The “wise women representative of the dreamer” enters and the birds fly away. They indicate her own freedom and liberation from past obstacles or annoyances. Now the two aspects of herself are sitting around a kitchen table, symbolizing joining company within herself. It is a time to ask how you wish to nurture yourself?  Kitchen tables suggest that something will be changing for the better within your profession or your home. She is asking about books, because she still is learning to formulate, trust and understand her self-growth and liberating changes.  Know the answers are in You already, they are there for you to discover from your wise women self.

The root chakra is a powerful place of feeling home & roots, security, safety, embodiment and empowered by being in a healthy physical body. The chakra is pulsating because the past (family of origin, past lives, past fears, etc.) are all up for revamping. The pulsing awakens the dreamer to the fact that she feels being alive and being well. She can proceed under her own agency and doesn’t need to go back to the old way of feeling disempowered or disenfranchised with life.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

Nothing But Ash

When teaching my dream classes, I always suggest participants title their dreams once awake, as sort of a place holder for the feeling the dream elicited. Even if it is only the title that they remember, it gives significance to the dream story or dream memory. As such I left what this dreamer passed along as her title, as the title for this blog.

In the world at large right now we are being given a huge opportunity to reassess, rebuild, and reorganize. Covid has forced us to stop. This has also changed our night dreaming content, which I spoke a bit about in last months blog. In stepping back we have given ourselves, and the planet time to breath, time to rest, time to consciously choose different.

Our dreamtimes are being flooded with symbols and antidotal ‘movie clips’ which reveal buried feelings, old narratives, and unacknowledged beliefs, that can wake us up to something new. Once we understand what our dreaming self is showing us through the symbols it offers us, we can reorganize how we choose to embrace a more authentic self moving forward.

Astrologically as we are beginning to move away from the impact of so many  of the  outer planets in the sign of Capricorn. This has give us an opportunity to regain a stronger footing, at the same time as we break the old paradigms and personal stories we’ve used consciously, or unconsciously to box our self into some false truth. There is a liberation possible for each of us on so many levels at this time.

When someone dies, there is a phrase in the burial process of many religions, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” Ashes represent a letting go of the physical body into the spiritual body—a return to our true essence. Whether it is in the Christin lexicon which states, “Dust though art, to dust though shalt return;” or a yogi or holy man smearing himself with ashes as a sign of having renounced his worldly desires and needs; or Australian Aboriginal healers dressing a wound in ash and dirt to heal a spiritual wound, beyond the physical wound—ash is not nothing, it is significant.

THE DREAM:
I am in a cave with a warrior god and a fire god. There is a light coming into the cave somewhere from above but I don’t think there was an opening in the ceiling of the cave. They lived in beautiful stall-like houses that were painted red and gold trim around the doors and windows. The stalls were very ornate like a temple. The fire god was actual fire in the shape of a human. The warrior god looked like a Roman soldier with helmet, sword, metal skirt and breastplate. The warrior god and the fire god left their houses.
From the sky, I am looking down on the warrior god and the fire god. They are laying on the ground facing each other laughing. The ground is ash. I look up and out over the land and it is all ash. There is nothing left, no people, no buildings, no trees, plants, or animals. The warrior god and fire god go back home. I am there with them. The fire god is very happy to be back in the cave where their stall-like houses are. The red paint has faded, the gold trim has started flaking from the doors and window frames. The doors and windows have been boarded up. The fire god goes to his house rips off the boards from the doors and the windows and goes into his house. You can see he’s happy and immediately lights up the house. He’s the fire god, after all. The warrior god doesn’t seem happy to be back and chooses not to go to his house. I don’t know where he goes.

I wake up.

The Decoding:

I am in a cave with a warrior god and a fire god. There is a light coming into the cave somewhere from above but I don’t think there was an opening in the ceiling of the cave.

Some say caves are incubators; birthing places in the womb of Mother Earth. Caves are where the ancients went to vision quest, or pray, to find shelter or sleep. Caves are where we can birth awareness in the darkness of our own unknowing. There is ‘light’ coming from above, from a higher place of knowing. It is perhaps beyond our conscious knowing yet even in the moment, that when we find ourselves in our darkness, we are being given an opportunity to see.

There are two aspects of the Self here. Remember everything in the dream is not only what it represents, but also an aspect of yourself.  A warrior is someone who is trying to uphold what ‘they or who they serve’ think is right, and defend against what ‘they or who they serve’ think is wrong.  Is the cause always worth defending though, or is it a form of controlling the self (or one’s turf)? Is this a warrior who represents the dreamers pre conceived notion of self or perhaps their insecurities as needing protection?

The fire god on the other hand is Spirit Self. Fire represents passion, inspiration; fire can also indicate anger or volcanic eruptions.  Fire burns things so that there is new growth; from destruction comes transformation. Fire ‘god’—the God in each of us, is the power of our divine will within the fire of our soul. 

They lived in beautiful stall-like houses that were painted red and gold trim around the doors and windows. The stalls were very ornate like a temple. The fire god was actual fire in the shape of a human. The warrior god looked like a Roman soldier with helmet, sword, metal skirt and breastplate. The warrior god and the fire god left their houses.

When we dream of houses we are dreaming of where we live within ourselves. In this case they are in stalls, which means the dreamer has departmentalized parts of her life, or things from the past. They leave the house, forcing her to take a journey outside herself via the dream story. This is their gift to her, as representations or symbols of what she needs to revisit about herself.

The stalls are painted red and gold around the windows and the doors.  Windows represent being able to see into and out of—in other words how does the dreamer see herself in her inner world, and how does she allow her self to express herself, or be seen in her outer world? The doors represent that she has closed some part of herself off in someway, although she has the capability of ‘letting herself out.’  

Red represents passion, life force energy, trust and the ability to communicate one’s truth. Gold holds value from the beginning of time. It is the highest color or vibration to express the essence of our God/Goddess Self, which is why only kings and queens could wear it. In Middle Eastern and East Indian countries still, the amount of gold a women and her family owns, in part signifies her worth. Does the dreamer see her own worth? Has she created some definition of worth that needs a review?

The fire god holds the shape of a human, yes her Higher vibrant Self. And the warrior god is totally armored, yes her shielded and self-protected self. I would ask the dreamer to sit and feel (not think, but feel) how this resonates for her. Because she is being guided to sit within her ‘inner temple of truth and self value.’  To find what that truly means for her, she has to leave the protection (as they did) from her house, the domain in which she hides herself…..be that metaphorically, personally, physically or emotionally.

From the sky, I am looking down on the warrior god and the fire god. They are laying on the ground facing each other laughing. The ground is ash. I look up and out over the land and it is all ash. There is nothing left, no people, no buildings, no trees, plants, or animals.

The dreamer is being given a higher perspective to witness these aspects of herself. They are laying on the ground laughing at each other because they want her to find the humor in her life. To not resist change. To live a fuller existence. [This doesn’t mean yachts and travel and diamonds. It means her ability to meet those inner desires of self love and confidence and joy.] Her fire self and her warrior self have protected, inspired and been with her in tough times and in good….they want her to lighten up, to experience more joy, to have more fun, to be less constrained.

The ground, the land and everything around is ash and everything is now gone. This is a new beginning. She can construct something different now, and bring in new life experiences to a new personal terrain. This is a huge opportunity. There is nothing left of the old, only the challenge to build what she now wants. TO RENEW.  

The warrior god and fire god go back home. I am there with them. The fire god is very happy to be back in the cave where their stall-like houses are. The red paint has faded, the gold trim has started flaking from the doors and window frames. The doors and windows have been boarded up. The fire god goes to his house rips off the boards from the doors and the windows and goes into his house. You can see he’s happy and immediately lights up the house. He’s the fire god, after all. The warrior god doesn’t seem happy to be back and chooses not to go to his house. I don’t know where he goes.

This is my favorite part of the dream. (I always have a favorite part of a dream, as the dreamer usually gives themselves the answers they seek.) They all go back home, within YOU. The fire god—your divine self—is glad to be back in the womb of your future creations. 

The colors are fading, not because she is lacking what those colors mean, but because the dream is coming to and end, and they have served their purpose, offered as an explanation to further tap into self realization. The colors fade not as a loss of those frequencies, but to create space to build something new, a new dream, a new way of living the inner you in your outer expression. 

Parts of herself have been walled off, and boarded up, but the fire god rips them all down. He enters refreshed, happy and lights up her inner world; it is time.  Why does he do this, because “he is the fire god after all.” Our soul essence will never leave us, and it always wants us to have the fullest most joyous life we possibly can, but on this plane of existence we have free will, so we must decide the ‘how of it.’  We always have a choice. The dreamer now has open windows and open doors to make those other choices possible. 

The warrior god knows his time has come to rest. He doesn’t need to go back in, because you do not need his protection in the ways he has been forced to serve you.  The fire god will guide you now for the coming times. T he warrior god is not necessarily unhappy, he made a choice not to go back in, to show you that you have choices too. You made a choice in this dream whether you feel comfortable with it as yet, or not—that you do not need to be armored. In fact you have released the warrior god into the light (where all good warriors go), as he has now offered you through his service, the potential to step more fully into your Light.

Thank you for sharing dreamer, very powerful. 

What Movie do you Replay?

I have been hearing from a lot of people that they have been having “dreams in review.” It is why I chose this particular dream for this month’s blog. People have told me that they are dreaming of folks from their past; people who have died; situations they thought they had a handle on, or had overcome. I have been having some doozies of my own, which made me ask, Why Now?”

To set the stage, this is something I posted on FB about a week ago in response to another friends dream posting. My share: “I have a friend who teaches lucid dreaming in England, and he was telling me that one of the reasons there’s a rash of people having weird dreams right now is because of the ‘stay in’ order. That we’re not dealing with the everyday confusion, triggers, to-do lists, running around, work deadlines that usually get cleared during our dream time.”

With the 24/7 fear media and the social distancing, not only are we living in a new level of ‘quiet’ stress, but we have no one to process our thoughts with in isolation. If we are not in isolation we are thrown together in new ways with our partners or children that promote a different type of stress. Without our dreams centering on the activities of our day-to-day, and influencing our nightly sojourns, what is happening now is that we’re sinking deeper and deeper into our own personal subconscious, our unprocessed fears, or the pool of what we still need to discover, unearth, and/or process yet ‘again,’ to understand more about the choices we’ve made. And WHY?

Possibly this is a ‘gift’ of this virus? The capacity to delve deeper into the voice of our bizarre or nightmarish dreams, simply because they stimulate further consideration for the ways we will choose to make future choices in our waking state moving forward. On all levels this virus is a reboot of grand proportions, so why not our dream musings too.

“According to an ongoing study the Lyon Neuroscience Research Center in France initiated in March, the coronavirus pandemic has caused a 35 percent increase in dream recall among participants, with respondents reporting 15 percent more negative dreams than usual.”
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/04/coronavirus-pandemic-is-giving-people-vivid-unusual-dreams-here-is-why/#close

The Dream:
I have had a couple of dreams lately about an ex-boyfriend who I adored. It ended six years ago when he just stopped calling. I was annoyed/upset about the dreams because I’ve done SO much work on letting him go that I took them as a sign that even after all this time I still haven’t properly let go. I fall in love with alpha males. I am ridiculous in this as I see the pattern but can’t stop myself.

I included part of her backstory here because she states clearly what she feels her issue is. She is already chastising herself for the fact that falling in love deserves great loss and a broken heart. Why? Because she has chosen alpha males, and somehow that is wrong and deserves punishment. Now there’s a storyline that needs a revisit!!!

And, she thought because this happened 6 years ago, (and she worked hard at letting it go), that there still shouldn’t be something to process. Six (6) on the wisdom wheel is the number of trust, communication and faith. I share this with her (and you the reader), because I know from giving this woman a reading a short time ago, that she has the potential within the next year to have a man walk into her life. It will take trust; she certainly will need to shush her ‘critical voice’; and when he shows up, probably as an alpha male (no reason to condemn who turns us on), she will need to have faith. You can’t learn faith, you either have it or you don’t.

Not all alpha males are uncaring, nor unable to fully love their partner. So I see this dream as a preparation for her to unravel the false stories she has told herself about love; her capacity to be loved by someone she desires; and that there is someone who can truly love her for who and what she is. Certainly her inner story needs tweaking as she walks into her future.

So, to the dreams. The first dream I was walking along and suddenly saw him coming and realized I looked a complete mess and in particular I had no make-up on. I felt a kind of horror – an elation at seeing him and an urgency of “I must hide quickly, he mustn’t see me like this!”

What’s happening is not going on between the dreamer and her ex, it is about something happening within herself. She is a mess when she thinks of finding love again. He embodies what she needs to discover and feel about herself. That she can be “seen” for all of who she is. But instead she thinks she must hide from that euphoria of having those feelings of excitement and connection again—to change the type of person that she is attracted to, or to be hurt again.

She has no makeup on—she has to look at herself devoid of any masks and know that her true self is capable of being embraced fully just because of who she is. And, maybe this is a part of herself that she has tried to hide from past lovers, to please them instead of herself, or perhaps make her persona appear aloof to their reactions or hurtful rejections. Does she have a  fear of appearing too vulnerable? Where did that false story start? We are all vulnerable in love.

The second dream had two parts – one in which he was about to get married to this current girlfriend (he never wanted to marry me) and I was congratulating him and being all “spiritual” about how pleased I was for him to find the person who was exactly right for him after a lifetime of ‘searching’ (he’s been married 4 times). Ugh so false of me! Though I think I kind of believed even myself in the dream.

When a dream is in two parts it is often our Higher Self trying to get the information to us in more than one way. The pain that he has chosen someone else, not her, is a reflection that she has not put herself first in relationships.

Partnership/Marriage is about union, and this dream is trying to focus the dreamer to consider the union of her Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. When we know our inner lover, we will more often than not be able to find our outer lover, because we are not looking to plug a hole we think can only be fulfilled ‘out there.’ We often ask lovers to satisfy something that we are afraid to realize or own in our self—or perhaps think is broken in our self, or been falsely modeled in our family of origin. This is why alot of partnerships break up, because at a certain point the other can’t fulfill what is broken, missing or unfulfilled within us.

She’s acting “all spiritual”….like there is a higher, more enlightened way to falsify our inner pain. Is it not spiritual to acknowledge our pain? That’s a lie we tell ourselves, and often why even our ‘spiritual’ persuasions fall away as well, in part because they don’t fill the hole.

No Law of Attraction will come to manifestation if we are not ‘Attracted to Our Self.’ It sounds like she has been searching for a lifetime—out there—to find what she needs to fall in love with—in here. [That is not criticism or judgement, it is something we all are prone to do.]

He’s been married 4 times. I would ask the dreamer how many times she has been in relationships where she has been rejected or left…or was the one doing the rejecting or leaving? Four is the number of the Emperor, suggesting she has tried to work things out with strong, desirable, career oriented, powerful men. But 4 is also the number on the Wisdom Wheel that asks us to look at our motivation, see clearly, observe what makes us choose one thing over another, and to then perceive ‘our truth’ so we can make better choices the next time. So dreamer, admit what attracts you and moving forward know the signs when it is not working; seek instead the equation you need to define your own needs to make it work for you. That is not self-fish, that is self-worth.

The second part of the dream, he was ill and came to seek me out. He had terrible pains in his feet and I was flattered and pleased that he’d finally come back to me. I think his business was also maybe collapsing. (I always thought of this guy as a genius and felt lucky to be with him).

He comes back, but he is ill. What is the emotion you felt? In addition what is the emotion you are feeling right now about life? About love? About desire?

He has terrible pain in his feet. Everyone in the dream represents who they are, but also an aspect of one’s self….are you ready to move forward again. Do you think you can look at the pain of that experience maybe one more time to tease out a bit more clarity of how you do relationship, and why you do it that way? Your feet are your foundation to move forward on the Earth. You thought he was a genius, do you see the genius in yourself? His business is collapsing, which was probably everything in his world back then. Maybe as you revisit how your world collapsed with him, not to bring back the pain, but so you can let go of the falsities that might be holding you back from falling in love again.

This was worse because when I reflected on the dream when I woke up I suddenly imagined myself as Kathy Bates in Misery, where I had willed this accident on him to make him less powerful so that he’d come back to me.

I loved this, she has defined what she believes to be her destined movie sequence. What a perfect metaphor her dreaming-self left her with. My dream teacher, Gram Twylah, always reminded me to write down the impression of the dream when I first came back to waking. It was the underlying point of the entire dream sequence.

Misery, how do you wish to experience relationships? In the horror movie of the same name, Bates damaged her male obsession so he had to stay with her. Playing on words, how do you “Bait” yourself.  Do you tell yourself you need to accidentally or purposefully fall in love with the same old ‘story’ and continue to make yourself less powerful in another’s partnership movie?

No you don’t need to be afraid to fall in love and experience it once again. You know more about yourself, your worth, your value so that your next romantic movie can end differently this time. As Carlos Castaneda said: “The trick is what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy-the amount of work is the same.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

Let’s have a Heart to Heart

I hesitated to use this dream this month, given the situation the world finds itself in, that of a 24/7 news cycle filled with fear and death and more fear. But these are powerful times for change, waking up, and creating anew. To me this dream was very shamanic.  Shamanic experiences can appear frightening because they take us into ‘our’ unknown, or outside our comfort zone.

To work shamanically does not mean you need to be a shaman, medicine person, healer, etc. We are here to find our unique place and alignment with everything around us. This is our test as humans; it’s also our gift to be human. In that sense I believe we are all capable of working in the shamanic realms.

Although a shaman in the historical/cultural aspect of the word, is a medicine elder from the Tungus region of Siberia, in the popular lexicon, the word shaman has become a catch all phrase for those who practice journeying, rituals or healing practices of an indigenous and/or earth-based nature. There is nothing but good in tapping one’s inner knowing, however you get there. Dreams are a big part of the shamanic path.

Although I work shamanically with clients, I would never call myself a shaman. That is a clear and personal choice. I am a firm believer that anyone who hangs out a shingle claiming to be such, cannot do it out of want, ego or without true training; but that is a completely different conversation.

There are many people around the globe who currently have a strong desire to create a more meaningful relationship with all aspects of Nature, Mother Earth as a living entity, the energies of the Universe and the energies of the unseen—as a way to bring awareness and balance not only back to the self, but hopefully to extend that out to other in a good way.

In these times where everything is shut down, it is a reboot opportunity to be in the Silence and discover that which we wish to rebirth about ourselves, our environment, our planet, our worth, our health, how we wish to live. We cannot do that through fear and anxiety—that is the cage of the old model. It is our responsibility to take hold of our destiny to make the changes needed for a fairer, kinder, more aware and participatory existence. It starts with the self. It’s the process that is important, not the title one gives it; the process must be practical and adaptable.

It’s why I find dreams so profound. They are shamanic. They are teachers. They are informative. At their core they are really practical for our own growth, and understanding them allows us to be adaptable with our self. They come from our inner voice, which is connected to Source, thus they are a way for the Divine within us, to speak to us.

Just like the fear many are experiencing with the virus, this entire world’s current PAUSE BUTTON is a teacher for change, but only if we don’t fall into the immobility of the panic. This dream is an amazing shamanic healing source for the dreamer, if the dreamer doesn’t linger in the fear of the disturbance created in the story-line, but rather sees the gift being offered by her heart’s voice within her own dream-story.

THE DREAM:

(It was brief, but one of the most disturbing dreams I have ever had. I am not sure if I should provide you with any background information on myself, so I won’t; but if you would like to know anything to help interpret the dream, I am happy to share.) Side bar: I didn’t ask this person anything about this dream. This is not someone I know.

I am eating my own heart. It does not look like a human heart, but I know that it is my heart. It looks like a pale pink artichoke, with leaves or layers that I am peeling back with a fork. I know that I should not be doing this, that I will die if I eat my own heart, and I don’t understand how I am even still living with my heart outside of my body. But I am compelled to eat it, so I peel a layer off with my fork, and as I am raising it to my mouth, I can see a small red core in the center of the heart and it is beating. At the same time, I can feel my heart in my chest, beating to the same rhythm. I know my heart will stop beating if I eat it, but I cannot stop myself.

Then, I wake up.

Decoding:

I am eating my own heart. It does not look like a human heart, but I know that it is my heart.

Eating a human heart means you are trying to process something that has potentially affected your ability to express, or receive unconditional love. Ironically, in the dream it does not look like a human heart, which can imply that you do not feel someone cares about you, about your love, or what you offer of yourself. Or perhaps that you are not fully realizing the true nature of your heart because the image is skewed.

Eating a heart is a huge rite of both communion and passage. In First Nations hunting experiences back in times gone by…. [Remember Dances With Wolves & Kevin Costner?]  ….When the People hunted buffalo, deer, etc., they believed that the animal was part of the cycle of life, and that it had laid down it’s life so the People might live. Eating of its heart was to take in that courage, that unconditional love, in a rite of both gratitude and appreciation for what the animal had offered. 

Because you know it is ‘your’ heart it suggests you need to be more tender with yourself. You need to ask yourself where you are willing to give or receive love in a more self-accepting way. I would ask the client, “How do you value yourself?” And because the heart is misshaped from what you know a heart to look like, I might also ask the client, “Why do you feel wounded?” ” “How do you not see the heart’s lesson clearly?” and also “Have you had your heart checked by a professional to make sure nothing organically is wrong?” [Which I do not think is the case here, but it is valuable to ere on the side of caution.]

It looks like a pale pink artichoke, with leaves or layers that I am peeling back with a fork. I know that I should not be doing this, that I will die if I eat my own heart, and I don’t understand how I am even still living with my heart outside of my body.

Pink on the Wisdom Wheels represents insights and foresights, that it is pale, suggests you may be in a period where you do not trust or listen to your inner knowing around an issue past, or present.

It’s got leaves and layers (like an artichoke I am assuming), which implies the “heart” (which is what they call the center of an artichoke), is covered with sorrow. Perhaps something of import to your personal growth needs to be scrutinized, thought through, reflected on, to get to the ‘heart of the matter.’ Grief cannot be ignored, it is a process and each step will come no matter how we try to cover it. [see Kuble-Ross’s steps to grief]

Taken as a play on words, it says, “your heart is choking” on something you haven’t digested, or about someone you are still chocked-up about. What must you assess? And, do you need help from someone or something external to get through the layers of this?

My sense is that you feel that if you face this wound, some part of you will die. Personal truth is actually held the potential of your ability to release. Dying to who we are IS the shamanic act of dying to what nolonger serves us moving forward. As you say in the dream, you don’t know how you are living with your heart outside your body, yet you are, just not fully. When a shaman goes through the ‘death of the self’ she/he is capable of being the conduit for others by working in the unseen parts you are unable to see because your story limits you. You must be the conduit for your self healing and open  your heart again. The dreamtime is called, “the little death”, so this dream makes you really face that letting go phase.

But I am compelled to eat it, so I peel a layer off with my fork, and as I am raising it to my mouth, I can see a small red core in the center of the heart and it is beating.

You are compelled to heal, to get to the core of what stops you from raising your vibration and nurturing yourself. Eating is a way of nurturing ourselves, and going back to Dances With Wolves, taking a bite of the heart of the courageous buffalo that offered its life so the People could be nourished, presented Costner with his personal rite of passage. Likewise you will need to call on your own courage, and find the love of yourself, to address what your heart wants you to heal.

This issue is multi-layered. Forks indicate there is an situation or problem in your circle of folks: be that family, community, partner/lover, work, etc….or even your inner pantheon of guides and subtle bodies. This doesn’t even have to be current, it can be from the past, but the dream is indicating that now is the time to look at that story and how it has run your life up to this point, so you can make changes.

You see a small red core and it is beating. Your heart is still intact; it is still alive; it holds truth and it is strong, despite the grievance/s. Red on the Wisdom Wheels is about trust, communication, and having faith in yourself. As one of my mentors, Gram Twylah used to tell me, “You can’t learn faith, you either have it or you don’t.” Do you have faith in yourself? Do you get that your heart wants to live fully, and express fully, and love fully?

At the same time, I can feel my heart in my chest, beating to the same rhythm. I know my heart will stop beating if I eat it, but I cannot stop myself.

To eat the heart means you want to process this issue. It is not a death toll; to do so offers you a new lease on life, a deeper understanding of yourself. Your true heart is still in your chest; you can feel it beating, wanting to live large. Its beat is sending out its resonance, its rhythm, calling you home.

Epigenetics says the heart is the primary brain in the body. It modulates the frequency or heart/brain coherence for higher consciousness with the mind. In the Andean tradition it is called the Inca Seed—the pure potential we all have to grow the Self in love and right knowing. In some traditions, the heart center is where the Evolving Soul resides. You should not stop yourself dreamer; ‘eat your heart out’, find you in that beat. If you have the courage to eat, digest and release your pain, it will become your personal shamanic process back to a greater You.

Thank you dreamer for sharing

Look Through My Window, What Do You See?

I chose this dream because of the packed astrological alignments happening now that I feel speak to this dreamer. Very loosely (and nowhere near the full impact/explanation of all of what is going on in the sky right now), we just arrived at a new moon in Pisces (healing, compassion, re-connection), with the North Node in Cancer (family, the past, emotions) while the South Node is in Capricorn (karmic accumulation, structure, ancestors), and Mercury is in its retrograde cycle (review, restore, renew). 

I see this as a time of cleansing emotional situations and/or buried memories from the past. It is a time to renew a compassionate beginning for yourself. (Layers, our life is layered with experiences and awareness that shed light only when the timing is right.)          

An astrologer I follow suggests (paraphrasing): “Look back to 2001, 1982, or even 1964 to see what you were doing and what was brought to your awareness with the South Node in Capricorn and the North Node in Cancer. It may have been a change or challenge to one or more of these: emotional experiences, familial relationships, location, etc. See how you are being asked to navigate now, as a consequence of those key decision then, and how those situations have manifested in you, or for you over time.”                    

This dream speaks to needing to transform, uncover or reveal the emotions coming up through this dream, while connecting to one’s self with a level of awareness of how your past has shaped your current reality, and being compassionate for the ‘ride’ you need to take to become aware or healthier in your choices.

THE DREAM:
My dream was fragmented.
It is very hot in the room so I go to a window and the screen is showing. As I look through it, I see behind the screen there are multiple levels. I take the screen out and see there is a storm window. Behind that, there is a broken wooden window with a ripped screen in it. I remove them and as I am telling someone about this, the dream shifts.

I am driving with an Uber driver. He is a young man, with ginger hair, but he is being so rude that I keep flipping him off. He drops me off at my home. I am surprised to see it is where I lived as a kid. He picks up a family of 4, but he won’t send me the connection to the app so I can pay him. Now we’re in a room with the whole family and he is frustrated with me trying to work my phone to get the app so it will show the cost of the ride. The more upset and frustrated he gets, the nicer I get. I lose the dream.

The Decoding:
It is very hot and I go to a window. The screen is showing, but I see behind it there are multiple levels.    

To dream of being hot in your dream (temperature and not related to night sweats) is often related to something that feels excessive, it has become “too much” to handle, and in some cases can mean you need to clear yourself of the memory of someone or something. Temperature in dreams signifies the quality of your emotions around something.

Windows have often been interpreted as “doorways or windows” to the soul. Doors need to be opened so you can get out, and windows need to be clear to see through and beyond. There are multiple layers. Your outlook is about to change or a new awareness is ready to bubble to the surface, however this will be multi-layered for you.

To dream of a clear window suggests clear sightedness around an issue, but to dream of broken windows often signifies that your viewpint around an issue is in need of being assessed and then fixed. With multiple layers, there are multiple issues that need to be addressed or may be coming to light all at the same time, that has distorted one’s past experiences.                                                                                             

I take the screen out and see there is a storm window. Behind it, there is a broken wooden window with a ripped screen in it. I remove them and as I am telling someone about this, the dream shifts.                                                                                          

The dreamer is ready to “unpack’ something about her past that if/when remembered, or faced could create a stormy or stressful situation. This could be about difficult emotional times, family or friends who were not supportive, or perhaps experiences that broke her faith in herself. That the dreamer is taking them out shows she is willing to reassess the past situation. The rip in the screen allows her an opening to review what is beyond. I would ask the dreamer if she remembers what the view or the weather was outside that window, despite the condition of the window/s, as this would add to the “soul searching” that needs to be done.

I am driving with an Uber driver. He is a young man, with ginger hair, but he is being so rude that I keep flipping him off.

The dream has shifted, when this happens usually it is the ‘Self’ trying to bring info in another way, with a different set of symbols for the dreamer to review. The dreamer is with an Uber driver, possibly signifying that she does not feel in control with the information from the past, and needs “a map, for someone to drive her there.” Someone to help unpack the memories or get to a better destination within herself that she is having trouble navigating alone.

Seeing that everything in the dream is also an aspect of our self, it is interesting to look at the symbology. Hair represents personal power but in dreams in can also refer to sexuality, sensuality, attitude or one’s thinking style. Ginger headed suggests you cannot avoid this any longer—there are beliefs, emotions, behaviors or anger that need to be explored and dealt with. The mere fact that the dreamer keeps flipping him off shows her level of emotional upset.                                                                 

He drops me off at my home. I am surprised to see it is where I lived as a kid.              

Here is where the impact of her feelings occurred, in the past. She is at the home where she lived as a kid; this is a childhood issue that needs to be resolved. She is surprised to find herself here, which might suggest she hadn’t either remembered this before, or has suppressed it for reasons of safety.                                                                                                   

He picks up a family of 4, but he won’t send me the connection to the app so I can pay him.

Possibly there was an issue within the family. Possibly she felt little connection to the family. Possibly she felt alone in this family. Possibly everyone in the family knew but chose to be quiet.

Four is about restructuring, finding balance, solidity, clear-vision, responsibility; also the Emperor in the tarot is the 4th arcana—father-figures, health, structure. (Remember Mercury–review, restore, renew; and Cancer South Node-family, emotions; and North Node in Capricorn-karmic accumulation, ancestors?)            

Phones are about contacting someone for communication. It is about reaching out to feel connection, to share or to get help. Apps are about finding the help needed to connect with something new or to navigate how to deal with new information.    

This young man (who is also part of herself) is withholding some piece of information for an exchange to be completed. But more importantly this is not allowing the culmination of the transaction–the full blown memory.

There is a problem, a lack of connection, a ‘disconnect’ to something that can finalize the conscious awareness of whatever the dreamer is trying to bring to completion from her past. Perhaps she is withholding the memory from herself? I would also ask her if there were any ‘gingers’ in her family.  

Now we’re in a room with the family. He is frustrated with me trying to work my phone to get the app so it will show the cost of the ride. The more upset and frustrated he gets, the nicer I get. I lose the dream.

Having the whole family in the room means all the pieces are coming together to be assessed and reviewed. The app is still not connecting—the full memory or impact of the emotions the dream might unleash isn’t ready to fully be brought into consciousness. Or perhaps at the time of childhood their was a fear or frustration that ‘a transaction’ may have been brought to light in the family unit. She couldn’t ask for help. Timing is everything, but there are many clues to begin to explore the symbols contained herein.

The more upset ‘he’ gets, the nicer she gets. I see this as two different things. First being nice is probably something she had to force herself to be as a child to be safe. And secondly, if she is ‘nice’ she might not have to fully remember and deal with what this unravels about her childhood. However, as the layers of windows suggest, you can take the emotional strata ‘out’ one step at a time, and hopefully with someone who will assist you to help you through what may be revealed.                            

Thank you dreamer for your dream.