To Thy Self, be True

I am posting this dream on the New Moon (December 6/7, 2018) in Sagittarius, as the planet Mercury goes direct. Why? Because when Mercury stations direct we have the capacity to have our communications be more fluid and clearer, whether that is within our Self, or with others.

The new moon is a wonderful time to plant new seeds of awareness and purpose. This new moon in the mutable fire sign of Sag has the potential to bring freedom, lightness of being, and spiritual forces that can renew our faith. The moon in Sag has stationed next to the planet Jupiter, its planetary ruler. Jupiter encourages us to forge ahead and make what we thought impossible, possible.

Isn’t that what this time of celebration, light, and giving is all about? Whether you celebrate Solstice, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza or any other festivity of community, this is a time of renewal, gratitude, and finding peace.

I chose this dream during this holiday timeframe because it reflects the light this dreamer holds within herself and the renewal she is searching for. Something I know we all desire, and often discount as our birthright when hard times, frustration, betrayal or loss is encountered. Although I do not know this dreamer well, I do know her public persona. What I imagine to be one of her strongest guides shows up in an alternative form in this dreamscape, enforcing and reminding the dreamer that She is always present with Her love, loyalty and encouragement.

The dream:

Ok dog lovers, I had a dream last night that I just had to share. I believe this is a message for everyone who loves their pets, but it was definitely inspired by one of my soul sisters losing her best buddy this week.  

In the dream I was in a house, not my current house necessarily, but rather the whole environment felt very much like a fairytale – like I was in a cottage in the middle of a forest somewhere. I looked out the window and I could see a very old woman, very much a fairytale crone kind of hag character, walking slowly up the path to the front door. She was slow not only because of her age, but because she was very carefully carrying an ornate wooden box. I could tell by the way that she was carrying it that it was either very heavy, contained something incredibly fragile, or both.

She was not scary in any way. She appeared very deliberate in her movements and I knew that she was wise and had something important to tell me. I opened the door and I waited for her. When she arrived on the doorstep, she nodded to the box and said, “Open it. Look inside.”

I stepped forward and carefully opened the box. Inside it held a stunning, perfect crystal ball set within folds of midnight blue satin. This incredible dark blue color was important in the dream, because the fabric moved a bit, undulated, and it gave the feeling that the crystal ball was floating in the cosmos.

The crystal began to flicker and then an image came into it: it was my first pug, Magda. (My son Conor named her when he was ten). She was the canine love of my life who was lost in a truly horrible and tragic way about ten years ago. In the crystal, Magda was barking and happy and jumping around and it made me so happy to see her.

I looked up and the crone was smiling at me. She said, “I just wanted you to know that all of the pets you have ever loved go to a place of great joy and celebration. They are perfect spirits, guardian angels, and they live on in bliss.”

I did not have a chance to ask her anything as the dream ended right after that. But I had the sense that she really wanted me to share this message with my friends. And so, there it is. I think it is beautiful message for all of us who have lost our special friends. And I want to dedicate this story to XXXXX and her little buddy XXXX, because I believe they inspired the dream message.

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Ok dog lovers, I had a dream last night that I just had to share. I believe this is a message for everyone who loves their pets, but it was definitely inspired by one of my soul sisters losing her best buddy this week.

This explanation was in part how the dreamer interpreted the impact of this dream. Although on one level this assessment is totally accurate, as you all know dreams are always multi-dimensional and richly layered in their content and meaning. Our dreamscapes bring forth underlying information from the subconscious that the Higher Self wants to impart to the waking conscious mind for self reflection. Let’s look deeper into the symbolism of this very powerful dream.

In the dream I was in a house, not my current house necessarily, but rather the whole environment felt very much like a fairytale – like I was in a cottage in the middle of a forest somewhere.

To dream of a type of house and being within it, represents our body and aspects of the self. Specific rooms in a house define certain characteristics, emotions, or attitudes concerning what the dreamer is feeling consciously, or subconsciously. In this case, she is not in her house, but a small cottage in the woods, which is very much like a fairytale. This could suggest she doesn’t feel totally at home where she is living, or even perhaps in her body. Perhaps she would like to go back to a time when she lived a sweeter existence in another setting.

Notice that the dreamer is not in the forest, but that she is in the cottage. If she were in the forest it could indicate she is searching for a better understanding of herself, but being in the cottage suggests she may feel weighted down by obligations in life, and looking for a simpler way to live her life. Because the cottage is ‘fairytale like’ she may be pining for times when her outer world was what she had always dreamed it could be.

The woods the cottage is in on the other hand, represents a need for rejuvenation, renewal, growth and/or a change of affairs from her weighted down feelings. The cottage also suggests a need for comfort, peace and serenity but the fairytale quality cautions that although one has a tender heart, they cannot romanticize a situation, a need, or even that someone will come and rescue them.

Like a fairytale, the Self is pushing limits, helping the dreamer to awaken to her infinite potential. A fairytale demands we have faith and persistence, which is not always easy when a confrontation to our faith occurs, as many fairy tales often reveal.

I looked out the window and I could see a very old woman, very much a fairytale crone kind of hag character, walking slowly up the path to the front door. She was slow not only because of her age, but because she was very carefully carrying an ornate wooden box. I could tell by the way that she was carrying it that it was either very heavy, contained something incredibly fragile, or both.

The dreamer looks out the window. Windows are doorways to the soul, and in this case represents the dreamer being open to new experiences. She sees an old woman, like a fairytale crone. As I have shared many times, everyone in the dream is what ‘they’ represent as a character in the dream story, but they also symbolize something about our self.

There is still this ‘fairytale quality’ about the dream, suggesting the dreamer would like things to be lighter, an easier tale born of yesteryear, than what she may now be experiencing. She sees the path clearly leading to her door; she is clear that she must continue to ‘follow the path her soul has laid out.’ 

She was slow not only because of her age, but because she was very carefully carrying an ornate wooden box. I could tell by the way that she was carrying it that it was either very heavy, contained something incredibly fragile, or both.

The crone wise woman is also the dreamer herself. She represents that intrinsically wise, inner voice that asks her to pay more attention to her feelings, intuitions, wisdom, and cycles of change so she can navigate life’s vagaries with more peace in her heart. The ‘hag’ quality also implies that the dreamer may be tired, that life has had its burdens and the weariness she may feel has taken her sense of youthfulness and joy.

This old crone (her past) wise (learned and intuitive) woman aspect of the dreamer has this ornate wooden box that is either heavy or fragile or both.

An ornate box could suggest that something from the past, perhaps something we have built an elaborate story around, now needs to be fully released to reshape our life moving forward. That it is wood, suggests something has atrophied. We use boxes to ‘pack things’ away, metaphorically that also means emotions. Packing emotions away can leave things feeling unresolved, in need of being protected, and/or suggests a sense of vulnerability. This can make life feel heavy or fragile or both as we try to fully face life anew.

She was not scary in any way. She appeared very deliberate in her movements and I knew that she was wise and had something important to tell me. I opened the door and I waited for her. When she arrived on the doorstep, she nodded to the box and said, “Open it. Look inside.” 

This wisdom keeper part of the dreamer is not scared, she is deliberate and this gift she is actually giving to herself, is important. The dreamer is not afraid of this new opportunity that she must now step forward into. The dreamer has all the answers within herself and possibly what she has buried deeply needs to be looked at with fresh eyes to be able to soar again.

She is in need of being deliberate when taking the actions she must use to unleash and convey the wisdom she contains, in new and inspiring ways. The dreamer is already waiting at the ‘opened front door,’ indicating she is ready to meet head on what is coming into her life. What is coming is in the box, suggesting she has tucked something of herself away.

Her wise self encourages the dreamer to open it, unpack it, and take a risk to have faith that she is ready to handle what is inside. Her Wise Woman Self would not encourage her to do that if she wasn’t ready.

I stepped forward and carefully opened the box. Inside it held a stunning, perfect crystal ball set within folds of midnight blue satin. This incredible dark blue color was important in the dream, because the fabric moved a bit, undulated, and it gave the feeling that the crystal ball was floating in the cosmos.

By taking the box, she accepts the invitation of the Higher Wise Woman part of herself. This box contains the beauty and the clarity held within this dreamer. A crystal ball denotes intuition, prophecy, and clarity. It symbolizes future hopes and plans, and the reunification of the inner and outer self, as well as drawing from the upper transpersonal chakras.

Blue is significant on many levels. It is not only the color of the throat chakra (indicating the possibility of reaching a wider audience with her words), but midnight blue is the color of the pineal gland when meditating, and is an ancient symbolic energetic gateway to the above and beyond.

Blue is also associated as being a calming color, a spiritual color in many cultures, and a power color (hence corporate power blue suits, police uniforms, etc.). On the Wisdom Wheel, one of the main questions the placement of blue asks is, “Are you in service or servitude to a person, ideal, or situation.” It is the highest placement of teaching and intuition when we authentically honor ourselves. 

The material is satin. Although satin is a complex weave where weft and warp catch and twist each other (like life), it is also very smooth and rich in hue, indicating life can take a positive turn and go more smoothly now. The ‘fabric’ of her life, like the fabric of the ‘cosmos’ that we all are floating in, is a rich hue of moving and undulating energies, ups and downs, signifying that life force energy is ever cycling and changing.

The crystal began to flicker and then an image came into it: it was my first pug, Magda. (My son Conor named her when he was ten). She was the canine love of my life who was lost in a truly horrible and tragic way about ten years ago. In the crystal, Magda was barking and happy and jumping around and it made me so happy to see her.

This is the most significant section of this dream. It represents layers for the dreamer to consider. The flickering crystal is like a neon sign, it is meant to get the dreamer’s attention, to bring lucidity into the dreamscape so she will remember this part. The image is of her pug, Magda, who was named by her son Conor when he was ten and was ‘the love of her life,’ passing ten years ago. Metaphorically, this is the crux of this dream.

Pugs are dogs, and according to one of my indigenous mentors, the late Gram Twylah Nitsch, dogs represent loyalty to the self, trust, and the need for camaraderie. Dogs are wonderful companions, but the down side of this symbol is they may be needy. I would ask the dreamer, “where she needs to be loyal to her self, and not necessarily rely on the loyalty of others?” This doesn’t imply that friends aren’t loyal. It could suggest because of the fairy tale quality the dream started with, that the clarity reflected within the crystal ball indicates she may need to shift her needs, and thus the type of people she may have relied on to change her life when she was in need, so she will no-longer feel alone in the forest.

Magda is short for Magdalene, signifying Mary of Magda is always there for this dreamer. This I know is one of her strongest and most elegant guides. The name came from her son Conor, an old Irish name meaning ‘lover of wolves’ and ‘having high desires.’ Her son represents ancestry, some thing in her blood and bones, the higher desire she has in this life. Wolves are both communal teachers, wise and wild but also need time alone to rejuvenate. The ‘dog’ is happy and barking, pugs don’t necessarily bark, so this is a further indication of her Higher Self trying to get her attention.

Conor was ten when he named the pug, and her pet passed ten years ago. It is important when a number is repeated in the dream. Numbers, like colors are frequencies, and those vibrations impart information. The number ten in numerology covers the numerical vibrations that take us from 1-9, (which equals 10).

Ten has two significant implications in the dream. It suggests that life has felt like ‘walking the razors edge’ for the past ten years, because it contains all the numbers/vibrations/frequencies. But, the number ten is also a number of renewal or rebooting, having learned from the past what not to repeat in the future, indicating a new cycle.

In the Bible the number ten indicates something that has been completed in Divine order and a return to harmony. On the Wisdom Wheel it signifies new insights and foresights. [And because dreams always play on words, may I suggest with my Boston accent, that playing off the word ‘Conor’, suggests that she has the ability now to turn a new ‘corner.’]

This significant part of her life, her dog Magda, died in a horrible and tragic way. This represents many things that have tragically died, emotionally, physically and trust-wise to her these past ten years. She has been handed a lot, like the Magdalene, but now she has to go forth with renewed life force energy, faith, and uncover a sense of happiness again. None of those images that she loved from her past want her to live without a renewed sense of life. Like Magda in the dream, they all want her to feel happiness and a level of bliss again.

I looked up and the crone was smiling at me. She said, “I just wanted you to know that all of the pets you have ever loved go to a place of great joy and celebration. They are perfect spirits, guardian angels, and they live on in bliss.”

All pets, people, lovers, ideas and opportunities come and go throughout our lives. Some break our hearts; some provide an experience that is merely a momentary cycle on our  time line; for some others, it simply was never meant to be. The cosmos has a plan we are not privy to, and only faith helps us stay the course.

Faith is not something we can learn or earn, you either have it or you don’t, as another mentor, Maya Perez once cautioned me. But those who have crossed, as well as the angels that guide and protect us, and the spirit helpers that whisper to us, want us to touch bliss in all the many ways possible, even if it is temporary.

Rumi suggested that, “Spirit asks all from us,” but it is “when we ask all of ourselves” that we bring light and renewal back into this Earthwalk.

I did not have a chance to ask her anything as the dream ended right after that. But I had the sense that she really wanted me to share this message with my friends. And so, there it is. I think it is beautiful message for all of us who have lost our special friends. And I want to dedicate this story to XXXXXXXX and her little buddy XXXXX, because I believe they inspired the dream message.

I crossed out the personal names as I only had the dreamer’s permission to post and not theirs, but the dream passage prior to this is where the power of this dream truly lies, and that’s why it ended here, as there was nothing more her Higher Self needed to show or say.

In this season of light, may you all come to realize that the light you each carry within, when you allow it to burn brightly, fans the flames of the All That Is, and the All That You Are. 

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

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The purity of dreams

I wanted to review for new readers how I have come to my dream decoding. I have worked with a wide variety of indigenous elders and mentors over these last 30+ years, all of whom have contributed to the symbology and mythology of my dream interpretations.

I am also a therapist, so Jung and his archetypes have played heavily into the work I do. One of the most profound teachers I have had in this regard was the late Grandmother Twylah Hurd Nitsch, Seneca elder and the one who shared her vast body of knowledge with me for over 12 years. It was Gram who imparted that part of my mission was to be a dream decoder to help others understand the significance and power of their dreamstate as being doorways to their natural innate wisdom. She used the Wisdom Wheels, or medicine wheels, to impart the knowledge and philosophy of her People. Each place on the wheel corresponds to a color, number, truth, series of teachings, and energetic portals that can support and deepen our understanding of what she called ‘this Earthwalk.’

Three things she always instructed for me to remember when I helped others to decode their nighttime musings:
• Dreams come from a place of the collective as well as one’s personal subconscious. They are not bound by space, time or dimensionality; and as such, they release us from the constraints of our daily world and the limitations we occupy within our self.
• The ‘feeling’ of the dream is ultimately where its guidance and gifts lay. So you must redirect the dreamer to how the interpretation makes them feel, be that comfortable or uncomfortable, therein lies a lesson for them.
• She believed that Great Mystery offered every type of dream as a gift, and as such it offers us choices in our outer waking world, that prepares us for awareness and ultimately our death. Buddhism suggests this as well.

The Dream:
Trying to piece together last night’s dreams. I was at a place similar to the Hotel Evéché, except it was all spread out like a campus. Maybe this was Kathleen’s dream community? Seems like I felt her presence in the dream. Anyway, I was feeling a bit sad because I was getting ready to leave. I had several bags of groceries gathered up and was getting ready to give a little speech before I left. Isobel was helping me prepare, and she also helped me slip on a lovely pink vestment. We were both laughing as it went on. There is a whole lot of symbolism in this dream. I hope I am worthy of it.
Dreamer’s later aside: The groceries included a bag of clementines, a jug of rich looking juice, maybe apricot or something of that nature, and a baguette.

Interpretation:
Trying to piece together last night’s dreams. I was at a place similar to the Hotel Evéché, except it was all spread out like a campus.

The Hotel Evéché was not only the base that housed the group for the Magdalene work with Kathleen, it was also right next to the Abbey, which although dedicated to Mary, the architecture suggests something earlier. It is a hexagonal shape, which is a sign of a Temple to Isis. So the Divine Feminine in you is over seeing your next move. Isis is the Egyptian goddess of love, magic, fertility and rebirth (as she helped to rebirth Osiris). It’s right on the River Aude, and rivers stand for the ‘flow of life.’ One interpretation may be that the woman that you are needs something more fulfilling in life now, an opportunity or awareness that brings together something new and fertile for you to move forward.

It feels similar to a campus, so perhaps this is something you need to teach yourself, or learn about yourself that you have put aside, as campus’s are places of learning. I know you teach, so maybe something at your place of work needs to change for you to feel more magic and rebirth in your life.

Maybe this was Kathleen’s dream community? Seems like I felt her presence in the dream. Anyway, I was feeling a bit sad because I was getting ready to leave.

You always look at the interpretations or the symbolic significance of names, as well as what that person represents to you in your waking life as it indicates a part of yourself as well.

A dream community is actually a symbol of all the inner parts of yourself, all those aspects that would like to give voice and bring awareness about your inner world that have been ignored, suppressed, denied or need new life force energy.

Kathleen means “pure,” the pure part of yourself. She is also a teacher that you admire─ teaching you the mysteries of the feminine, so this would suggest that there is a pure part of yourself that wishes to share or teach you something about your own feminine nature.

You are feeling a bit sad because you are leaving, which implies changing. It is not that changing is sad, but the fact that we might have to leave something behind that we have leaned on and found safety in.

What do you feel you are leaving behind of yourself, or perhaps have left un-attended for yourself either on a daily basis, or as you move forward in life. If we were sitting together, I would ask you, “What might you need to leave at this age and stage to have a fuller or richer life?” Or, “What makes you sad about the life you are experiencing in this moment?” Or, “What are you missing in terms of relationship either within yourself or with another?

I had several bags of groceries gathered up and was getting ready to give a little speech before I left. Dreamer’s later aside: The groceries included a bag of clementines, a jug of rich looking juice, maybe apricot or something of that nature, and a baguette.

You have several bags of groceries (groceries are about nurturing yourself but bags are about keeping it hidden). This suggests that you have several ways you need to consider in terms of nurturing yourself as you move forward in this life, and to do that you must expose something that might currently feel vulnerable for you. And you are carrying the bags, so that indicates you are trying to be accountable in doing that.

To give a speech, means you need to express your inner feelings more openly, and the dream is showing that you are preparing for that. The items in your grocery bag: clementine’s, a bottle of rich juice, (maybe apricot you stated), and a baguette.

Clementines are hybrids, which means in this “bag” or this collection of items there are things that need to be brought together that may help you identify how to express yourself. But this means you are in need of bringing more than one thing into your waking awareness. Because it is a hybrid, it suggests that you need to bring at least two parts of yourself together to birth this new aspect. And because clementines actually go through a process of uniting 3 things to get to the end result, it could be 3 things you need to assess, or possibly even could refer to the Triple Goddess energies. Fruit represents health and life.

Orange on the Wisdom Wheel is about learning to organize yourself to accomplish a new goal, one that brings aspiration and truth (and possibly competition). Juice is asking you to bring more richness back onto your life, something new that nourishes and enriches you. The Chinese specifically associated apricots with beauty and sexuality. So I might suggest that what you are trying to open up to in your life moving forward is how to balance both work, your spiritual comfort, and finding relationship.

A baguette is a type of bread, signifying you need some basic needs met, and consciously or unconsciously, you are hungry for that to happen. That can be a relationship, a new creative project, or something that sustains your spiritual wellbeing. Ironically a baguette can mean that someone you have a crush on, likes you back.

Isobel was helping me prepare, and she also helped me slip on a lovely pink vestment. We were both laughing as it went on.

Isobel means devoted to God/Goddess, so that part of yourself that is helping you to prepare to uncover this pure mystery of yourself is your essence which is connected to the Godhead.

Gram told me that this inner-knowing was common knowledge for the People. This knowledge became hidden in the Fourth World, and placed outside the Self as ‘the god without’, instead of the ‘God within’. We have done enough work as we now occupy the burgeoning Fifth World, to embrace that we are not separated from our inner truth, the God/Goddess within, and being aware of our dreamtime conversations and images is one of the primary ways to uncover that knowing.

You are putting on a vestment, that is an interesting symbol. Putting something on, means you are trying to get closer to something in your life, be that knowledge, awareness, another person, a creative project. A vestment, in the latter days, was a part of the liturgy, and each garment was put on with a prayer, which is an earnest wish or request. Pink on the Wisdom Wheel, as Gram taught it, is about trusting your insights (which are revelations) and foresights (which are opportunities) as you blend career/work and creativity/relationship.

And, you were both laughing. Bringing to light what you know you wish to experience now needs to be done with joy and lightness of being, that is the value of You.

Thank you dreamer for your sharing, I hope I have given you some clues to think about what feels right for you. Though each dream is personal for the dreamer, it is also something for the collective, as we all dreamers in the same dream. As the late, great John Lennon said: “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.”

Respectfully, my take away for this dreamer, is that she is at a cross roads of discovering a change that will enrich her life in ways that she has possibly, or purposefully held back from, up until this point. Those deep inner spiritual forces that reside within her are inviting her to experience a renewed sense of the pure magic and divine mysteries she wishes to explore, even if it feels vulnerable, within this life. And isn’t this what we all face as we learn to grow and explore other parts of ourselves so we don’t stay stagnate in our old stories, and continue to create new ones that feed the soul?

Two for One

My apologies to my readers for not posting for 2 months. This has been one the busiest international traveling/teaching summers for me on record. And, although I am grateful for the sponsorships, the new people I’ve met, and the wonderful folks in other countries that I’ve gotten to visit or revisit…..some things, like my dream blog, needed to be put aside to get through my schedule.

This is not unlike the hiatus many of us take from writing down, or remembering our dreams. We know we dream nightly; we know sometimes we remember them and sometimes we do not; and we sometimes think those little fragments of a dream don’t mean much. The dream symbols and their seemingly unconscious meanderings though always are trying to impart something to our waking self.

To that end I will explore two dreams this month, to make up a bit for being a “Dream AWOL” bogger. The first is to show you how powerful even a dream fragment can be. The second will be more in-depth simply because I will have more to work with. Both however are important pieces of information for the two dreamers who volunteered their nightly dreamscapes.

P.S. I really, really need more dreams, and I am hoping for more diversification of dreamers presenting them. Thank you to all who have or will.  

The first dream:

I don’t know what you will get out of my dream, it is very short and I don’t remember most of it. I dreamt I was handed a new born baby. I brought it to a doctor to be examined, and he told me the baby needed dental implants. It was only then I realized that the baby was so young, it didn’t even have any teeth yet. I couldn’t let that happen.

A new born baby being handed to you could mean you are being given a new opportunity to explore, birth, or renew something about yourself, that you have wanted to experience or develop. Now is the time. When you accept to hold the baby, it suggests that you are embracing this new aspect  and agreeing to be responsible for how it grows. It can also mean that you are finally at peace with accepting something burgeoning within yourself. The baby wasn’t crying, so you are not overwhelmed or resisting.

You take the baby (this represents an innocent part of yourself) to someone of authority, the doctor. This could mean you are looking for assistance or direction from outside yourself, but it could also suggest, there is an inner, knowledgeable part of yourself that you need to consult, in order to expand on this new opportunity. You must decide what resonates for you most with this symbol. Are you used to giving away your power to someone else? Are you being mentored in a wholesome way? Do you spend the time to self reflect to know what the best options are for you?

The doctor suggests the baby needs dental implants. Teeth often center around our self image. And you need to be careful whose opinion and direction you accept, as to how you wish to be seen in this new, developing part of yourself. Implants could suggest you have some fear around your image, your own self expression and/or how you will be met or seen by others as this new ‘something’ or part of yourself blossoms. Implants are not necessarily of our nature. Medically or dentally they may help us with our self image, but they are external to us; they do not represent the inner us. Legitimately often our new ideas or opportunities need time to develop at their own pace.

When the dreamer says, “The baby doesn’t even have teeth yet,” so she can’t let that happen, I would suggest that she take the time to nurture this new idea, thought, opportunity or self image ‘re-make’, slowly and gently, like one would nurture a new born baby. Only then will she be able to “sink her teeth” into whatever it is she is trying to bring forth.  

The second dream:

I’m lost, trying to find my way. I find myself in a large apartment, with dogs running around. Suddenly my spiritual teacher appears, it’s her apartment. Meryl Streep is with her. I apologize for being there. They are kind. They walk out, hands held in prayer and go to the left. I follow them out and go to the right. I’m on a well-worn path, it is very dark out but I can see the path. I’m walking up a mountain, the side of it rises steeply on my left. It is forested (like the way up Machu Picchu only narrower). I’m suddenly aware of a large dark man following beside me, off the path on my right. I can’t really see him, just know his presence is there. I’m frightened, it feels dangerous, like I’m being stalked. I lean in toward the cliff as I continue to walk. Suddenly I’m in a large busy terminal. I’m on a college campus, there is a shuttle train running through. I wonder if I should get on that train to reach my destination faster. But I don’t know where the train is going, don’t know how to use the train, and don’t know my destination. I look around to ask someone for help. A kind woman on the train, who is wearing a uniform so seems to be an official, appears in the open doorway and seems willing to offer help, but the doors close and the train moves off. I’m still being pursued, still in danger, and now I’m really afraid. I see an escalator and take it up, then run up a set of stairs. Part way up I see a door and push it open. I see a wide hallway and sense there are classrooms behind closed doors. It’s empty, all is quiet. I know that’s not the way. I feel dread, hopeless. There’s nowhere else to run. I will soon die, he’ll catch me. I turn back toward the stairs. I wake up.

I had the opportunity to ask this dreamer two questions: Who was her spiritual teacher? And what would be one word she would use for her teacher, and for Meryl Streep? She apologizes for using more than one word, which in itself is important for this dream dissection. I will take the first word she offered for each person-bolded below in her answer.
Lama Willa Miller, Tibetan Buddhist teacher. Sorry, 2 words: Embodied wisdom.                Meryl Streep: integrity, beauty and brilliance.

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I’m lost, trying to find my way. I find myself in a large apartment, with dogs running around. Suddenly my spiritual teacher appears, it’s her apartment. Meryl Streep is with her. I apologize for being there.

The dreamer is lost trying to find her way through something in her waking life, and her subconscious is trying to bring some answers through her dreamtime. She is in a large apartment, which means it may feel overwhelming to her in her waking state. There are dogs running around, (although she doesn’t say what color or type the dogs are which would give deeper information), in the tradition of Gram Twylah, dogs stand for loyalty to the self, and faithfulness to the fact that our answers come through self-reflection.

Her spiritual teacher appears. As I have said many times, everything in the dream is what it represents but also is associated with parts of our self. Buddhism is based on the teachings of the Buddha, as someone who attained becoming a realized being. Though there are varying schools and practices, the main goal of Buddhism, as I understand it, is to overcome suffering as we move through the cycles of death/rebirth, and through self reflection as we let go of our illusions and delusions. Meryl Streep, as we all know, is a brilliant actress, who has successfully portrayed many ‘faces’ through the many roles she has impeccably played and been acknowledged for. 

What the dreamer is looking to access is how to embody a new understanding of her needs, no longer playing a role, but living in the authenticity of her integrity, which is her impeccable realized self. But what does she do? She apologies for seeking that.  Counterintuitively, in some ways the two characters in her dream work together, they also signify polar opposites. One goes within to find her true self; the other is the actress on the outer stage that has to maintain a role. Both are needed to come together and find a balance. They are able to show the dreamer that this is possible by the symbol of bringing their hands together in that prayerful mudra.

They are kind. They walk out, hands held in prayer and go to the left. I follow them out and go to the right. I’m on a well-worn path, it is very dark out but I can see the path. I’m walking up a mountain, the side of it rises steeply on my left. It is forested (like the way up Machu Picchu only narrower).

Those aspects of herself (wisdom/beauty/inner and embodied/integrity/outer) are trying to kindly guide her in a new direction, and with hands held in prayer, symbolize self reflection of both her inner and outer persona. They try to lead her by going to the left, the place of “heart centeredness and the being ness that allows”, which would help her on this inner journey. But, she goes to the right, the place of the “head and doing,” which for her is a well-worn path. This suggests that she keeps trying the same old thing to get to where she wants to be, but it keeps leading her up a steep (hard), narrow (limited), path that is forested (hard to get perspective on). Question: If this were simpler, not a hard climb, and you needed to have the perspective of you as the ‘tree’ instead of you as the ‘forest’ what might you do differently?

I’m suddenly aware of a large dark man following beside me, off the path on my right. I can’t really see him, just know his presence is there. I’m frightened, it feels dangerous, like I’m being stalked. I lean in toward the cliff as I continue to walk. Suddenly I’m in a large busy terminal. I’m on a college campus, there is a shuttle train running through. I wonder if I should get on that train to reach my destination faster. But I don’t know where the train is going, don’t know how to use the train, and don’t know my destination.

She has a very distinct fear of this change (the man-possibly a part of herself; an outer man she would like to be in relationship with but is afraid to explore; a man from the past that presented a danger to her). Even though she might want an personal exchange given her search, she is frightened of the danger of the change she seeks. She needs to lean on something to continue pressing forward. The cliff although it represents the ‘rock’ she leans into for support, is also a cliff, which by its very nature, we can fall off of at any point. 

Then she is in a large terminal, which like the large apartment in the beginning, makes her feel like there aren’t safe boundaries, even her own perceived boundaries, if she takes this risk. This can set us up for failure because we will keep attracting the same thing to our self and concretize that same fear, that in trying again, nothing is different. Then she finds herself quickly at a large college campus. She wants to learn a new approach to overcome her fears.

There is a train, this is a huge symbol in dreaming. It represents movement forward. It suggests there are specific tracks you need to stay on so that you do not derail. It could represent that she is “in training” to learn more about herself. The psychoanalyst and dream therapist Carl Jung, suggested it was analogous to a male penis. I would ask the dreamer, “Do any of these analogies have anything to do with what you are trying to explore or overcome?”

Take the last sentence as to the truth of where her total confusion, and possible illusions may lay. “But I don’t know where the train is going, don’t know how to use the train, and don’t know my destination.” This is the most important sentence in the dream.

I look around to ask someone for help. A kind woman on the train, who is wearing a uniform so seems to be an official, appears in the open doorway and seems willing to offer help, but the doors close and the train moves off. I’m still being pursued, still in danger, and now I’m really afraid. I see an escalator and take it up, then run up a set of stairs. Part way up I see a door and push it open. I see a wide hallway and sense there are classrooms behind closed doors. It’s empty, all is quiet. I know that’s not the way. I feel dread, hopeless. There’s nowhere else to run. I will soon die, he’ll catch me. I turn back toward the stairs. I wake up.

She seeks out  help, this is good, we all need helps sometime and another’s perspective can often assist us to see things from a different vantage point. The woman on the train wearing a uniform implies that there is influential help that can ‘open a door’ for her.  It also suggests that there is an ‘official’ way she feels this should unfold. At the same time she is afraid that ‘doors will close for her,’ if she takes advantage of the assistance and that she will miss her opportunity. This danger that still pursues her is from her past, it hasn’t been resolved. I would suggest she looks at how inhibiting the old story is to her forward movement. Emotionally we may know ‘the story’ and we may have unpacked it in many ways, but there is still something there that affects her moving forward toward her goal.

To dream that you push through a door is about taking the chance for a new opportunity. She goes up an escalator (she wants this to happen quickly but realizations don’t always happen quickly just because we want them to); and then a set a stairs, which like the narrow mountain path, is an old constricted path or at least a somewhat limited way to approach a conscious understanding of the problem or fear. The classrooms, like the college campus, represents new ‘learning’ and to look into this challenge from a different perspective.

It is all empty and quiet-this is a great place to start–to be able to empty ones self and quiet ones thoughts. This suggests ‘going within’ like her Buddhist teacher suggests, to embody her inner wisdom, to change her fear. She knows to stay in her fear or unresolved confusion is not the way she wishes to proceed. She states, “there is no where else to run (away from herself), and she turns back to go down the stairs, (symbolizing going within to look at herself in a new light). Which for all of us, is the only way that we learn to embody our ‘impeccable realized self.’

Thank you dreamers

 

 

Consciousness, a gift

Yesterday was July 22nd and the celebration of Mary Magdalene, a woman who has been maligned, lied about, believed by many to be a whore redeemed by Christ, and many other things that she was not. Miriam of Magdala was a wise, learned, wealthy woman in her own rite, that came to be a supporter of The Way, Apostle to the apostles, and as some research shows, the wife of the Christ in the true act of the Hieros Gamos. 

I had intended to post this dream yesterday, but a family situation took precedence, as family over work should. I chose this dream, as you will see, because it is the first ‘holy’ dream I have been sent by a dreamer, and I thought the date and the dream coincided nicely.

Many people are having various signals, dreams, meditative or prayerful moments of alignment from the etheric realms with Jesus, the Mary’s, angels, and ascended masters these days. There has been an upsurge, possibly in answer to the times in which we find ourselves (so many being persecuted). Possibly  because enough people believe (not in a apocalyptic picture), but in one of a humanity finally awakened. And possibly even in a more refined, less dogmatic view of what Christ-consciousness is, aside from the more false rhetoric of those who push their uncompromising, false moralistic agendas. If I offend any readers in saying this, I do not apologize. 

I am a firm believer in the Christ energy, and in the life of Jesus who became the ‘Christ’ (profound conscious awareness), in the last three years of his life. I am also a believer that the supremacy of the ‘winners’ are the ones who get to write history. I think for those that research and have “eyes to see, and ears to hear” that there is a different story-line than the one that has been used to ‘guide and direct’ us, rather than to teach us the true nature of the light of Christ within ourselves, which is what I believe Jesus came to teach and sacrificed himself for, along with those that loved him.

I was sent an article by a friend in Wales, that I find very interesting to this premise. I am not sharing it to promote Rudolph Steiner, nor the Kabbalah, although I like the teachings of both. [See article at end of the dream.]

I was wondering if you could help me with a dream I had the other night?

The Dream:
In my dream I was driving with my friend who is also my hairdresser (and very spiritual). [Aside: I asked the dreamer the name of her hairdresser and one word to describe her. She said Monique, and the word ‘caring’ is what she would use.] When looking up at the sky it was cloudy and suddenly opened. As the sky opened Jesus came down on his cross, he had a lot of light around him and appeared to have a halo rainbow around him as well. I remember in my dream how beautiful we thought it was. He didn’t talk or say anything to me. Just dropped from sky. He didn’t fall on the ground.

The next day all I could think about was this dream. I was unsure if he was giving me a message or sign.

Another piece, I was calling to tell my sister about the dream, and in explaining it to her she mentioned her mother in law had same exact dream but in hers he played music that she had a hard time hearing.

I just find it very odd that both of us had similar dreams.

______________________________________________________________

In my dream I was driving with my friend who is also my hairdresser (and very spiritual). [Aside: I asked the dreamer the name of her hairdresser and one word to describe her. She said Monique, and the word ‘caring’ is what she would use.]

What I failed to ask the dreamer was who was driving. If the dreamer was driving, it would indicate that she is in control of her own life and the direction/s she wishes to take. If the friend was driving, it would indicate that the dreamer needs to be more ‘caring’ with herself, and/or the choices she makes moving forward. As I have suggested many times, the people in our dreams are who they represent, but also an aspect of our self.

I will assume (could be wrong), that her friend is driving, because she already suggests she is spiritual, and within the dream something significantly spiritual happens. I would read this as the dreamer’s  ‘Higher Self’ is driving this dream and is about to show her something very special. Even if the hairdresser were in the passenger seat, it is still an indication that some level of awareness from the spiritual realms is about to be offered.

Hairdressers are someone we all seem to speak freely to. Hair indicates vitality and a connection to psychic communication. In some cultures such as indigenous Native People and the Samurai of Japan, long hair was a sign of power and being in touch with the Earth energies. As such her hairdresser could be symbolic of the connection to communication of a higher nature, within herself.

Some say ‘hairdressers’ are someone who helps us change how we see ourselves (new do’s). Some teachings have said hairdresser symbolizes a healer or healing (occurring at the crown chakra). Others have suggested that hair is something that grows, and as such the dreamer may be about to ‘grow a new idea or perception.’ Monique means advisor or counselor, so this would fit.

When looking up at the sky it was cloudy and suddenly opened. As the sky opened Jesus came down on his cross, he had a lot of light around him and appeared to have a halo rainbow around him as well. I remember in my dream how beautiful we thought it was. He didn’t talk or say anything to me. Just dropped from sky. He didn’t fall on the ground.

The sky is initially cloudy. Something is either confusing the dreamer with a choice she has to make, or a new direction she wishes to go in. It suddenly opens up, a new perspective perhaps. There is an expansion of thought.

As the expansion of thought becomes available, Jesus comes down on a cross. This person suggested in her email that she was not religious per se, but a believer. Jesus not only symbolizes a light bearer to many around the world, but also a man full of the light of consciousness and unconditional love. My suggestion is with the expansion of light and self love comes consciousness, everything that the Christ wanted us to know is fully capable of experiencing within ourselves.

He is on the cross and surrounded by a halo and rainbow. This is a time period of not staying nailed to the cross of martyrdom and self flagellation; what purpose does that serve other than to keep us small and controlled by something/someone outside our self.  This is a time of ascension, and knowing that no person, no institution, no church can give us that. That was Christ’s message, “I do this so you know you can do it too.” When we embrace the thought that we are the light, that the light is us, and that we are all connected in that light As One, we understand his message.

Halo’s are symbols of enlightenment and divinity. Rainbows are seen as the many frequencies or vibrations (each color represents a different vibration) of connection between earth & sky; us and the divine within. Jesus is showing the dreamer what is within her, by his example. And, “That is beautiful.”

He doesn’t talk, he just let’s his light and presence be the teaching. There are no words for enlightenment and touching the divine within, it just is, it needs no explanation or justification. My belief is that he doesn’t drop to the ground, because he is no longer embodied in flesh and blood; he’s already completed that obligation. See article.

The next day all I could think about was this dream. I was unsure if he was giving me a message or sign.
Another piece, I was calling to tell my sister about the dream, and in explaining it to her she mentioned her mother in law had same exact dream but in hers he played music that she had a hard time hearing.
I just find it very odd that both of us had similar dreams.

Dreamer, I think it was the same. Whether you call it a message or a sign, Jesus wanted you to know you are capable, as are we all, of growing in consciousness and finding strength in faith. That you mother-in-law had the same dream, was a way for Him to show both you, and her, that the light is available to both of you, and the confirmation using a similar dream, was a message to both of you to pay attention. Interesting that Jesus spoke to her in the dream through music (sound-another frequency), and she has a hard time hearing.

Questions: What are you now capable of acknowledging that needs an enlightened change/choice in your life or that brings you into more alignment with who you are becoming? And, what does she (mother-in-law) need to acknowledge that she keeps out of reach for herself, by not ‘hearing’ a different perspective (from herself or other)?

Thank you dreamer for sharing. 

http://realitysandwich.com/322770/the-greatest-spiritual-event-of-our-time-according-to-rudolf-steiner/?_ke=eyJrbF9lbWFpbCI6ICJkYXZ5ZC5mYXJyZWxsQGFyY2hldHlwZWV2ZW50cy5jb20iLCAia2xfY29tcGFueV9pZCI6ICJQRW5jbm0ifQ%3D%3D

 

 

 

 

 

Unpacking

Hello Dreamers,

Well June came and went with little time for me to blog. That didn’t mean I didn’t have time to literally and figuratively ‘unpack.’ Like all of you, I venture to still learn, discover, and witness myself in this crazy world we now occupy. And truth be told, even if it was a calm and peaceful world, I would still strive to explore my place in it.

I have been on two back-to-back journeys aimed at delving deeper and more persoanally into the Divine Feminine. Not for power over, but for equality of. One pilgrimage I co-lead with another teacher, working with astrology, psychology, and personal archetypes using the icons of Isis (Mother Mary), The Magdalene (Miriam of Magdala) and Lilith (the Black Madonna). The second was with a well known herstorian and writer exploring the Hieros Gamos, Cathar history, and the path of the Mary’s after the death of The Christ. Both were in the south of France. Both brought profound understanding and renewal.  My path/teaching content has wound full circle, as it was the path of the Feminine that started my feet through all the many cultures, stories, sacred sites, and awareness of humanity as One, that I have been blessed to explore these past 40 years. 

Why am I sharing that? Because whether you are a woman, or a man, we all need to unpack what holds us back from the profound knowledge, compassion, strength and creative spark that resides within us, once we learn to honor, transform and manifest our Divine Feminine, and co-create our own Hieros Gamos. 

I believe this dream is one person’s continued quest for that.

The dream:

I am in a big off-white room sitting in a room with lots of young women running around. I am sitting in a chair and a woman who I knew (can’t remember upon waking up) is standing behind me. She is sensing something. And I tell her the room just needs to be smudged or at least painted yellow. I asked her if she knew what smudging was and she said of course but she gave me a look and said but I am not sure about the young women. The room was to be a meeting place and everyone was there to fix/clean it up.

In the right corner there was an old dilapidated bureau. No one seemed to learn to fix it. I looked at it and said, it is only the veneer coming off, there will be another layer underneath. It will be fine. It just needs some paint and care. I can paint it blue. I look in the drawer as there are some tools. I pick up a wrapped screwdriver and I am really happy to find it. It has both kinds of tip. The woman I am with is looking at me and says, what are you going to do with that. I say it is a good screw driver, I can use it.

_____________________________________________________

I am in a big off-white room sitting with lots of young women running around. I am sitting in a chair and a woman who I knew (can’t remember upon waking up) is standing behind me. She is sensing something.

A big room signifies the dreamer is giving herself space to explore something. Big rooms suggest expanding consciousness around something-an understanding or knowing. [The rooms of a house or building are very important within a dream context-more on that another time.] There are lots of women running around. There are parts of herself that are looking for cohesiveness, but they are running around, not in alignment with each other and not focused.

Colors stimulate emotions; those emotions are based on our perceptions and ‘personal story.’ The room is off-white. White on the Wisdom Wheels stands for boundaries, sharing, magnetizing to ourselves the people, places and concepts that help us grow, and likewise removing from our life the people, places, and concepts that hold us back. White is a blank slate, a new start. Off-white however suggests something still needs to be cleaned up.

The dreamer is sitting in a chair, indicating she is ready to corral and listen to these parts of herself. There is a woman standing behind the dreamer who senses something. This is the unbridled, yet focused part of her self, the one not confined and limited to the past stories. She is sensing what needs to change, or come to light.

And I tell her the room just needs to be smudged or at least painted yellow. I asked her if she knew what smudging was and she said of course but she gave me a look and said but I am not sure about the young women. The room was to be a meeting place and everyone was there to fix/clean it up.

Intrinsically the Self (the dreamer) knows what needs to be done. She offers that the room needs to be smudged (which is a form of cleansing a space, as smudging collects the positive ions in an active area, and brings the space back to homeostasis); and “at least painted yellow.” Yellow on Wisdom Wheels (as I was taught by Grandmother Twylah Nitsch), signifies ‘overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way of loving ourselves, as well as bringing justice, through forgiveness, to past hurts and injustices’. 

The dreamer knows she needs to clean up these feelings she still holds about herself from the past, and although the ‘sensing part of herself’ knows this to be true, neither are sure all the fragmented parts of herself (the other women all running around), will know how to integrate. This is her dilemma, integration of her sacred Divine Self. Every part of her has agreed to this ‘meeting within herself’ (as they are all in the room) and she has to fix this disconnect to feel solid.

In the right corner there was an old dilapidated bureau. No one seemed to learn to fix it. I looked at it and said, it is only the veneer coming off, there will be another layer underneath. It will be fine. It just needs some paint and care. I can paint it blue.

In the right corner there is an old dilapidated bureau. Corners ‘collect’ energy, in fact when smudging, it should be one of the first places in a room that you address. The right side of the body corresponds to the left brain. The right and left hemispheres of the brain each carry a function and specific traits. The left brain, (simply put) is about logical analysis, reasoning and attention to detail. These are the tools to look at our past, and put things in better perspective.

There is a dilapidated bureau, that no one seems to have learned how to fix. No one taught her what she needs to do to fix the feelings she is looking to either release or embody. A bureau ‘stores things’, and if we fail to clear our bureaus out once in a while, they collect old and out worn items that just take up space. metaphorically this symbol represents these thoughts about herself. However, she understands that the veneer is coming off-the old ways of thinking no longer serve her. She knows there is more under the surface of who she thought she was. This is the most important part of the dream, as she is acknowledging that she is more than meets the eye. 

Like the bureau , she needs a ‘change of color’ (perception), care (self-value) and self-love. There are things in the bureau that are worth keeping, and some that are not. This is what she needs to ‘unpack.’ This isn’t just a dream, it is a process.

She thinks to paint it blue. Blue on the wheels indicates understanding the difference between service and servitude, and trusting ones intuition as a growth factor.  This takes great care because not everything ‘we intuit’ is accurate, we must teach ourselves to know the difference between what we wish was, and what is.

I look in the drawer as there are some tools. I pick up a wrapped screwdriver and I am really happy to find it. It has both kinds of tip. The woman I am with is looking at me and says, what are you going to do with that. I say it is a good screw driver, I can use it.

Within the drawers she finds a screw driver and it has ‘both kinds of tips’. Two tips indicates the two sides of our self–the right & left brain; the divine feminine and masculine; the unloved and the loved; and the parts we need to assess or reassess to honor our truth.

A screw driver can unwind things, as well as secure things. This symbolically is a tool for her to use as she does her self-work and discovers new ways of looking at herself and her life. And will assist her to unwind or secure all old ways that need to be unpacked and released for her continued growth and happiness. She is on her way to another level; there are always other levels to explore.

Thank you dreamer.

Aside: I need more dreams for whomever is interested in sending me something. I will be doing another dream this month, but that will be the last one I have in my dream file. You can be anonymous if that is your preference, and just entitle the e-mail Dream. Thank you.

Vibrations Within Names & Colors

I chose this dream to explain a bit about how names and colors influence dream content, given their vibrational explanation/s. I draw on alot of Gram Twylah’s Wisdom Wheel psychology this month, even though I have done  a bit of that in past dream blog deciphering. I feel this dream is rich with how these meanings enhance the decoding of what the dreamer is trying to ‘tell’ herself. 

There are many interpretations to the Wisdom Wheels. On the simplest level, her teachings contained the Cycles of Truth (that we all must navigate as we live our Earthwalk), and the Pathway of Peace (that become our individual way of finding balance on that ‘walk’). 

The Dream:

I am in a familiar place and I am with Thomas, Ben, and Mary. I am preparing for something that begins with A but cant remember right now. I am very good at this and I need to show someone else what to do. People are milling around and I overhear that Mary and Thomas are going to the ashram for the week-end. I ask if there is room for me and they say Ben is going to maybe you can go with him. I ask Ben and he says fine. I ask if they had called accommodations to see if there was room. They asked if I could do that. I said I need to pack and it wont take long. I call accommodations and am waiting a while. I pass the phone to Mary and she waits for them to answer. I go to pack and I find my suitcase is full. I unpack and I open a door and I see that Gurumayi is sitting in a chair with her back to me giving darshan. She is wearing a white hat and purple shawl. I close the door as not to disturb her. She says are you coming?

I am in a familiar place and I am with Thomas, Ben, and Mary. I am preparing for something that begins with A but cant remember right now.

Each of these people represent what they mean in waking life to the dreamer, but also an aspect about herself. She is in a familiar place, which with each of the names she list, could me she has come to an understanding of parts of herself.

Let’s take them one at a time and use some word play. Thomas: this is a part of her that doubts something, as in Doubting Thomas. Thomas also means ‘twin’. This suggests to me that there is a secondary part of the dreamer that may well know she is doubting something about herself, and trying to work past those feelings/thoughts to find a more secure base.

Ben is short for Benjamin or Benedict. It means ‘the son of’, and usually refers to ‘son of my right hand’ and courage. Here the dreamer is calling attention to the right hand/left brain. She needs to take charge of something in her personal life and logically, courageously figure out the part of herself that she is doubting denying or leaving hidden. 

Mary has many connotations. It has been a well used name biblically and historically. If we take the name from the Egyptian mry, it means loved or beloved. What aspect of herself does the dreamer need to work at loving? She is preparing to assimilate all of these clues to accomplish something that starts with an A, though upon waking she still hasn’t formulated what that is, or she would have awakened with an understanding of what she is preparing for. 

‘A’ is the first letter of the alphabet, as well as the first vowel (often labeled a capstone). And she has capitalized it in her dream description. In numerology it refers to courage, ambition, and being in charge. These are the significant adverbs she needs to utilize to uncover what she is trying to learn about herself.

I am very good at this and I need to show someone else what to do. People are milling around and I overhear that Mary and Thomas are going to the ashram for the week-end. I ask if there is room for me and they say Ben is going to maybe you can go with him. I ask Ben and he says fine.

The dreamer knows she has a talent she ‘hasn’t worn on her sleeve’ for others to see. In fact she probably still denies this part of her own talents and skills. The ‘red letter A’ was used to shame a literary character in the Scarlet Letter, perhaps, if we are still using word play, the dreamer feels ashamed to let others see this side strong part of herself?

There are other aspects of herself ‘milling around.’ These are the parts of herself that still judge her and possibly deny her courage and ambitions to be all she is. She overhears the struggle within between her ‘beloved self’ and her ‘doubting self’, who wish to go into the silence (the ashram) to find the balance of truth she holds within.

She petitions those parts of herself if there is ‘room’ for her in this realization, this place of self actualization, and the dream directs her to (Ben) logically think through where she denies herself, her love of self, or her sovereignty of purpose in this lifetime. Ben wants to help her, as he agrees he can direct her.

I ask if they had called accommodations to see if there was room. They asked if I could do that. I said I need to pack and it wont take long. I call accommodations and am waiting a while. I pass the phone to Mary and she waits for them to answer.

Ironically she is still looking to see if she can be accommodated in this inner search, through her outer world communication. They all encourage her to do this for herself. She needs to pack, although I would suggest she needs to ‘unpack’ some of the ways she looks at herself and/or feels about herself. She’s waiting on others to answer her call, when really she needs to allow the ‘beloved’ (Mary) in herself to communicate that.

I go to pack and I find my suitcase is full. I unpack and I open a door and I see that Gurumayi is sitting in a chair with her back to me giving darshan. She is wearing a white hat and purple shawl. I close the door as not to disturb her. She says are you coming?

She goes to pack and finds her suitcase full. She needs to unpack her perceptions and beliefs, but has started the process. She has begun the ‘unpacking’ via the dream. She opens a door, signifying another way of going within or another way of letting something in.  A new awareness.

She sees Gurumayi sitting in a chair with her back to the dreamer giving darshan. This is very significant. Although Gurumayi is a spiritual teacher, she represents the spiritual teacher within this dreamer. At the level of One we are all spiritual teachers. We simply need to claim that knowingness within the context of our own life. So in her outer life, the dreamer still is seeking another person, leader, higher power to lead her to the  qualities of herself, when actually only the Self can tap that understanding and lay claim to all we are. This does not imply that we do not need mentors, guides, spiritual teachers, etc. along the way, but at some point we need to make the teachings our own.

Darshan is about receiving a blessing, which Gurumayi, the Higher Self is offering, but her back is to the dreamer. This implies that the dreamer doesn’t fully see who she is and all she is capable of. The higher Self 9Gurumayi) is not ignoring her, but the opportunity of seeing the ‘holy person’ or the image of our own divinity needs to come from within.

She is wearing a white hat and purple shawl. White represent purity, boundaries’, and magnetizing to our self what we need to know our truth or releasing from our life that which is nolonger true for us. That it is a hat, signifies that the crown chakra is covered, and we need to bring our awareness to the highest level of personal understanding for our growth. Purple represents the dreamtime, healing, the wisdom that comes from gratitude and awareness. It is a shawl that surrounds her body, bringing that awareness as a cloak of knowing to her full terrestrial self. 

The last two sentences are a great response between the unrecognized self and the Higher Self. The dreamer doesn’t want to disturb this holy part that is confident in her own knowing, and yet that is exactly what she needs to do. The Higher Self knowing that, asks “Aren’t you coming in?” Aren’t you ready to converse? Aren’t you ready to let go of all your doubts about who you are, and love yourself enough to have the courage to be You. 

Do you dreamer? 

Choose a Different View

Hello Dreamers:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but that last Mercury retrograde from March 22nd-April 15th in the fire sign of Aries was a doozy. In the fire sign of Aries the retrograde motion brought up issues of independence, rethinking relationships (with self and others), speaking up/or not speaking before thinking through, and may have provoked childish responses from those who didn’t get their way the way they wanted. 

All things being equal, one of the ways I chose to exercise my independence and rethink my relationship with my blog, was to not offer a March excerpt. Now that might be perceived as a childish response on my part, but I’d rather like to think of it as redefining, or revisiting, my needs given the sheer overwhelm in my life last month. I decided I need not berate myself for not following “my self imposed monthly procedure to get my blog done and out.” 

What Mercury retrograde in its course offers each of us, is the opportunity to try out a different view. Maybe come back to an issue with a fresh set of eyes. Maybe renew, repeat, redirect, refurbish, restructure, reject or re-ignite something. It’s a good time to reorganize ourselves around what we need to tweak in our life to gain more satisfaction moving forward. Hence this dream. 

The Dream:

I’m in the hospital for knee replacement surgery. I haven’t been given my packet of information. A male doctor offers to help, he’s tall, can see over the heads of all the people clustered around to find what I need. I climb up on his shoulders. He sees the packet with a white label I need, it’s sitting open on an empty chair, incomplete. I find the head nurse, the Administrator, to complain that my packet was in full view of everyone, violating my HIPAA privacy rights. I’m angry. She’s doing exercises, showing other women how to open their hips to help with the recovery from surgery. I want to know why she didn’t include me in her lesson. She said I had to ask. I wonder why I have to ask when I’m here for help in the first place and don’t know anything about this whole thing. I’m confused, angry and alone. Then I suddenly get this sense of a solid concrete feminine pillar rooted in the base of the central channel. Beside it is a watery New Mary surging up from the depths to loosen and release the concrete form of the Old Mary. I wake up.

I’m in the hospital for knee replacement surgery. I haven’t been given my packet of information.

Hospitals are places of healing. Structures that can possibly help restore something that has gone array physically, emotionally, or mentally. We go to hospitals when we need to feel better; they are often places we go to seek ‘an educated opinion about something’ and hopefully to gain insight so we can feel better or heal something. 

In this case the dreamer needs knee replacement surgery. Knees are crucial to the ability of the body to be flexible and walk forward in life. Knees also indicate the ability to bend; to surrender; to supplicate. They are joints so they symbolize changing circumstances. Knees are often seen as the part of the body that represents karma, and in many studies represents sexual desires and passion.

This dreamer needs to be more flexible with the way she needs to replace what she has ignored about her own sexual desires. She is seeking a place to heal and educate herself on what she needs to welcome the next phase into her life. This will help her to karmically adjust and educate herself, so she is able to change her circumstances, and heal that which no longer serves, engaging and exploring relationship in the new ways she may desire.

The dreamer hasn’t been given her packet of information. She doesn’t know how to do this quite yet. She wants to do it, but she’s in need of help.

A male doctor offers to help, he’s tall, can see over the heads of all the people clustered around to find what I need. I climb up on his shoulders. He sees the packet with a white label I need, it’s sitting open on an empty chair, incomplete.

The male doctor in this case represents her inner masculine. We all  are made up of both divine feminine attributes and divine masculine attributes, our souls contain all potentialities. We often make the mistake choosing an outer representation of what we wish to experience within ourselves when choosing a partners; and then get hurt in the process because they too are trying to find what they are seeking in themselves. Knowing the Self is an inner experience, not an outer one, can bring us different relationships with self or other.

The masculine offers focus, discipline and a way to logically but compassionately balance her view. He can help fix this situation, why? Because he is able to look above all the parts of herself (the people), that represent her past wounds, and/or simply get in the way of herself. That can include both her self directed isolation, and those elements she has experienced in this life that have made her pull back full feminine expression.

She needs to climb on his shoulders. She is willing to ask him to help her get above this issue. She relies on his strength, (shoulders represent being able to handle the burden for someone else) and warmth (because climbing on someone’s shoulders suggests trust, but not being yet able to have intimacy).

White, on the Wisdom Wheels as I have been taught, represents boundaries, sharing, magnetizing to ourselves what we want, and releasing what no longer serves. It also represents purity. A packet represents all the information the dreamer already knows, but hasn’t fully discovered,  but it is fully contained within her already. The purity represents coming to this inner knowing without debasing herself.

The packet is sitting on an empty chair, incomplete. Again, the packet represents the fact that she has everything within her to look at this situation with new eyes. The empty chair represents that she is not confronting something, and that makes her ability to deal with these feelings and desires, incomplete. She needs to sit with herself.

I find the head nurse, the Administrator, to complain that my packet was in full view of everyone, violating my HIPAA privacy rights. I’m angry.

She is looking for the higher authority within herself to heal this situation. And, she is upset that although she thinks this personal aspect of herself has been well hidden, that now others see this incomplete part of herself too. Her sexual desires have been exposed and brought to the forefront of her waking life, and this is still uncomfortable on one or more levels. She still holds anger around her desires and her past history with men, which needs to be addressed. Her higher authority, higher self, is exposing her to normal human physical needs, and that feels a bit like a violation.

She’s doing exercises, showing other women how to open their hips to help with the recovery from surgery. I want to know why she didn’t include me in her lesson. She said I had to ask. I wonder why I have to ask when I’m here for help in the first place and don’t know anything about this whole thing. I’m confused, angry and alone.

The higher authority (administrative nurse) is doing exercises with other women to open their hips….open their sexuality as part of their recovery. The dreamer is angry she wasn’t included in the lessons that would help her open herself again to sexual exploration or partnership. She may need to find a ‘teacher’ or counselor to help her explore this.

The nurse tells her she has to ask. We all need to ask for help when we are confused and uncertain; we often need to find new means to explore what still feels unknown to us. Yes, she has to go within and ask herself why? and how? and what? to all the ways she has , or still limits the expression of her desires and passions. It is suggested that she look at her fear, and anger, and whatever else comes up in her ‘inner discussion’ with the part of her being that wishes to be liberated. She clearly doesn’t know how to approach that discussion and that leaves her confused, angry and still alone.

Then I suddenly get this sense of a solid concrete feminine pillar rooted in the base of the central channel. Beside it is a watery New Mary surging up from the depths to loosen and release the concrete form of the Old Mary. I wake up.

If I understand this part of the dream, her Divine Feminine is still within her central core, her knowingness, her supreme being, but it has become atrophied, a concrete pillar, instead of flesh and blood, movement and action, desire and aliveness….she is awakening. A statue simulates life, it is not life.

A watery new Mary shows her that emotionally she is capable of rising from the depths of herself, her subconscious self wants and needs to be brought to a new measure of life, releasing the old ways she has confined herself. 

Some say Mary means ‘star of the sea’, others that the word comes from the Hebrew, and means ‘bitter’. We juggle both those factors within us as women. There are many Mary’s: Virgin Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Mary of Bethany (Martha & Lazarus’s sister), Mary Salome (Salome means peace).

These are all the Mary’s within us as women that we need to uncover and give voice to. Each of the Mary’s teaches us something about ourselves: the way we forget to mother and nurture ourselves; the way we have allowed others to malign our worth or worse, done that to ourselves; the way we can help ourselves rise again; the way we can find peace–what ever that means for us, for it is different for, and equally special in each of us.  All these aspects are part of the personal healing process when we choose a higher view of who we are, and allow that to manifest outwardly.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.