I hesitated to use this dream this month, given the situation the world finds itself in, that of a 24/7 news cycle filled with fear and death and more fear. But these are powerful times for change, waking up, and creating anew. To me this dream was very shamanic.  Shamanic experiences can appear frightening because they take us into ‘our’ unknown, or outside our comfort zone.

To work shamanically does not mean you need to be a shaman, medicine person, healer, etc. We are here to find our unique place and alignment with everything around us. This is our test as humans; it’s also our gift to be human. In that sense I believe we are all capable of working in the shamanic realms.

Although a shaman in the historical/cultural aspect of the word, is a medicine elder from the Tungus region of Siberia, in the popular lexicon, the word shaman has become a catch all phrase for those who practice journeying, rituals or healing practices of an indigenous and/or earth-based nature. There is nothing but good in tapping one’s inner knowing, however you get there. Dreams are a big part of the shamanic path.

Although I work shamanically with clients, I would never call myself a shaman. That is a clear and personal choice. I am a firm believer that anyone who hangs out a shingle claiming to be such, cannot do it out of want, ego or without true training; but that is a completely different conversation.

There are many people around the globe who currently have a strong desire to create a more meaningful relationship with all aspects of Nature, Mother Earth as a living entity, the energies of the Universe and the energies of the unseen—as a way to bring awareness and balance not only back to the self, but hopefully to extend that out to other in a good way.

In these times where everything is shut down, it is a reboot opportunity to be in the Silence and discover that which we wish to rebirth about ourselves, our environment, our planet, our worth, our health, how we wish to live. We cannot do that through fear and anxiety—that is the cage of the old model. It is our responsibility to take hold of our destiny to make the changes needed for a fairer, kinder, more aware and participatory existence. It starts with the self. It’s the process that is important, not the title one gives it; the process must be practical and adaptable.

It’s why I find dreams so profound. They are shamanic. They are teachers. They are informative. At their core they are really practical for our own growth, and understanding them allows us to be adaptable with our self. They come from our inner voice, which is connected to Source, thus they are a way for the Divine within us, to speak to us.

Just like the fear many are experiencing with the virus, this entire world’s current PAUSE BUTTON is a teacher for change, but only if we don’t fall into the immobility of the panic. This dream is an amazing shamanic healing source for the dreamer, if the dreamer doesn’t linger in the fear of the disturbance created in the story-line, but rather sees the gift being offered by her heart’s voice within her own dream-story.

THE DREAM:

(It was brief, but one of the most disturbing dreams I have ever had. I am not sure if I should provide you with any background information on myself, so I won’t; but if you would like to know anything to help interpret the dream, I am happy to share.) Side bar: I didn’t ask this person anything about this dream. This is not someone I know.

I am eating my own heart. It does not look like a human heart, but I know that it is my heart. It looks like a pale pink artichoke, with leaves or layers that I am peeling back with a fork. I know that I should not be doing this, that I will die if I eat my own heart, and I don’t understand how I am even still living with my heart outside of my body. But I am compelled to eat it, so I peel a layer off with my fork, and as I am raising it to my mouth, I can see a small red core in the center of the heart and it is beating. At the same time, I can feel my heart in my chest, beating to the same rhythm. I know my heart will stop beating if I eat it, but I cannot stop myself.

Then, I wake up.

Decoding:

I am eating my own heart. It does not look like a human heart, but I know that it is my heart.

Eating a human heart means you are trying to process something that has potentially affected your ability to express, or receive unconditional love. Ironically, in the dream it does not look like a human heart, which can imply that you do not feel someone cares about you, about your love, or what you offer of yourself. Or perhaps that you are not fully realizing the true nature of your heart because the image is skewed.

Eating a heart is a huge rite of both communion and passage. In First Nations hunting experiences back in times gone by…. [Remember Dances With Wolves & Kevin Costner?]  ….When the People hunted buffalo, deer, etc., they believed that the animal was part of the cycle of life, and that it had laid down it’s life so the People might live. Eating of its heart was to take in that courage, that unconditional love, in a rite of both gratitude and appreciation for what the animal had offered. 

Because you know it is ‘your’ heart it suggests you need to be more tender with yourself. You need to ask yourself where you are willing to give or receive love in a more self-accepting way. I would ask the client, “How do you value yourself?” And because the heart is misshaped from what you know a heart to look like, I might also ask the client, “Why do you feel wounded?” ” “How do you not see the heart’s lesson clearly?” and also “Have you had your heart checked by a professional to make sure nothing organically is wrong?” [Which I do not think is the case here, but it is valuable to ere on the side of caution.]

It looks like a pale pink artichoke, with leaves or layers that I am peeling back with a fork. I know that I should not be doing this, that I will die if I eat my own heart, and I don’t understand how I am even still living with my heart outside of my body.

Pink on the Wisdom Wheels represents insights and foresights, that it is pale, suggests you may be in a period where you do not trust or listen to your inner knowing around an issue past, or present.

It’s got leaves and layers (like an artichoke I am assuming), which implies the “heart” (which is what they call the center of an artichoke), is covered with sorrow. Perhaps something of import to your personal growth needs to be scrutinized, thought through, reflected on, to get to the ‘heart of the matter.’ Grief cannot be ignored, it is a process and each step will come no matter how we try to cover it. [see Kuble-Ross’s steps to grief]

Taken as a play on words, it says, “your heart is choking” on something you haven’t digested, or about someone you are still chocked-up about. What must you assess? And, do you need help from someone or something external to get through the layers of this?

My sense is that you feel that if you face this wound, some part of you will die. Personal truth is actually held the potential of your ability to release. Dying to who we are IS the shamanic act of dying to what nolonger serves us moving forward. As you say in the dream, you don’t know how you are living with your heart outside your body, yet you are, just not fully. When a shaman goes through the ‘death of the self’ she/he is capable of being the conduit for others by working in the unseen parts you are unable to see because your story limits you. You must be the conduit for your self healing and open  your heart again. The dreamtime is called, “the little death”, so this dream makes you really face that letting go phase.

But I am compelled to eat it, so I peel a layer off with my fork, and as I am raising it to my mouth, I can see a small red core in the center of the heart and it is beating.

You are compelled to heal, to get to the core of what stops you from raising your vibration and nurturing yourself. Eating is a way of nurturing ourselves, and going back to Dances With Wolves, taking a bite of the heart of the courageous buffalo that offered its life so the People could be nourished, presented Costner with his personal rite of passage. Likewise you will need to call on your own courage, and find the love of yourself, to address what your heart wants you to heal.

This issue is multi-layered. Forks indicate there is an situation or problem in your circle of folks: be that family, community, partner/lover, work, etc….or even your inner pantheon of guides and subtle bodies. This doesn’t even have to be current, it can be from the past, but the dream is indicating that now is the time to look at that story and how it has run your life up to this point, so you can make changes.

You see a small red core and it is beating. Your heart is still intact; it is still alive; it holds truth and it is strong, despite the grievance/s. Red on the Wisdom Wheels is about trust, communication, and having faith in yourself. As one of my mentors, Gram Twylah used to tell me, “You can’t learn faith, you either have it or you don’t.” Do you have faith in yourself? Do you get that your heart wants to live fully, and express fully, and love fully?

At the same time, I can feel my heart in my chest, beating to the same rhythm. I know my heart will stop beating if I eat it, but I cannot stop myself.

To eat the heart means you want to process this issue. It is not a death toll; to do so offers you a new lease on life, a deeper understanding of yourself. Your true heart is still in your chest; you can feel it beating, wanting to live large. Its beat is sending out its resonance, its rhythm, calling you home.

Epigenetics says the heart is the primary brain in the body. It modulates the frequency or heart/brain coherence for higher consciousness with the mind. In the Andean tradition it is called the Inca Seed—the pure potential we all have to grow the Self in love and right knowing. In some traditions, the heart center is where the Evolving Soul resides. You should not stop yourself dreamer; ‘eat your heart out’, find you in that beat. If you have the courage to eat, digest and release your pain, it will become your personal shamanic process back to a greater You.

Thank you dreamer for sharing