Why Would I Bully Myself?

There are many ways to interpret a dream, but a universal understanding of the dream state is that they provide spontaneous, impartial aspects of one’s psyche, not controlled by the will. When one learns how to lucid dream, they have more of an opportunity to ‘direct’ the dream but emerging into lucidity from that dream sequence is still a spontaneous message directed by the subconscious.

According to Freud, dreams are an expression of thoughts or feelings that your mind has pushed aside. Jung saw it differently. He felt that although dreams showed you parts of the self that you may have neglected or dismissed, that they were a bridge of communication between the unconscious self and the conscious self. Hence when assessed an opportunity to become self-aware. If they are difficult to understand sometimes it is because they speak through the language of symbols.

For the indigenous or shamanic practitioner, dream importance is similar in most cultures across centuries. Dreams were seen as more real than the waking state, for although they were symbolic or significant representations of information as a doorway to the psyche, they also came from a place of no time, no space helping one to balance one’s spirit in physicality. In other words, everything has spirit and awareness; everything is energy in movement; and understanding that energy enables one to animate and organize their waking world with more awareness. Thus dreams assist in uncovering awareness.

Australian Aborigine’s believe we all came from the dreamtime, which they see as the collective unconsciousness of all sentient beings in the Universe. It is the environment in which they live, not outside themselves, but inside creation. In the East Indian Buddhist and Hindu traditions, cultivating dream awareness is an important practice enhanced by specific yogic and dream practices to enhance the realization of the illusionary nature of the self.

Each of these explanations on the importance of the dream, suggest the same thing— to uncover what one needs to inform awareness as a further expression of the Self.  

The Dream:

I was working at a restaurant that looked like it might have dancers some nights. The bar had long runways at different parts. The new manager was an intimidating, broad shouldered, Easter European guy, and his lackey. The lackey would throw tiny sewing pins at people’s eyes that disagreed with the manager. The manager followed women into rooms and forces himself on them. When he followed me upstairs, I locked every door behind me. I went from one room to the next locking the black doors My other boss and I were finally able to get them to leave, but we had to close our eyes/cover them to avoid the constant pin throwing from both of them before the finally walked out the door. -end of dream

The decoding:

I was working at a restaurant that looked like it might have dancers some nights, the bars had long runways at different parts.

A restaurant is a place we go to be fed, nurtured, cared for, or as a gathering place for family or friends. Dancing is an expression of joy and emotion. In its best manifestation it unleashes a sense of free spiritedness. It can also be seen by some as a seductive, even abusive exploitation of the human spirit; a more negative side of dance clubs and strip clubs.

Bars have a lot of connotations in dreams depending on what the symbology suggests. On the one hand they can imply a place where one gives themselves permission to enjoy themselves. But they also carry an illusionary aspect if facilities get blurred. This could mean the dreamer is trying to escape some day-to-day obligation or formality that has become tedious. Either in the workplace or at home.

Runways make me think of fashion catwalks, again somewhat illusionary, sometimes escapist, sometimes showing a change from the ordinary or common place to something more elegant or frivolous.

The new manager was an intimidating, broad shouldered, Eastern European guy, and his lackey. The lackey would throw tiny sewing pins at people’s eyes that disagreed with the manger.

There is a new manager, but he intimidates the dreamer. Personalities in the dream remind us of something in our outer life, but also represent an aspect of the Self. This indicates that the dreamer has a lot of suppressed stress in her life. She needs a new sense of strength and control, but to take that power into her own hands feels intimidating. That he is Eastern European suggests that that kind of power feels foreign to her.

Dreaming of a manger, means there is a part of you that needs or wants to take control of a certain situation, but the ‘lackey’ it is not under the dreamer’s current control or comfort level. She feels separated from having influence. The “lackey’ also represents the dreamer, potentially the part of her that critiques or assesses everything she does-thus it represents her inner bully. And the part of her that could manage things differently, has given her power to this bully, instead of managing the situation as needed.

He throws pins in people’s eyes that do not agree with the manager. Eyes represent the doorway to the soul. They are also what we use to look at life squarely and assess if something is for our benefit or not. The pins indicate her inner Self wants her to become aware of where she is not addressing her inner needs for more happiness or balance in her outer life. The pins, like a nightmare, alert her to the fact that she is not ‘managing her life’ in a way more conducive to what she needs and thus needs to awaken something within herself to move forward.

The manager followed women into rooms and forced himself on them. When he followed me upstairs, I locked every door behind me. I went from one room to the next locking the black doors.

I would ask the dreamer in this sequence if she felt that men in her life often tried to force her into things, be they work oriented or in relationships. Is this aspect of herself as the ‘manager’ trying to control her, or show her where she is not in control? He is trying to have power over her, or ask her to become empowered?

She is going upstairs, signifying a higher state of awareness or consciousness. But she is locking all the doors behind her, she is not allowing her empowered self to take over or her intuitive self to inform her. The doors are black. On the Wisdom Wheels, black stands for listening to oneself; finding one’s inner truth and following that; or stepping into the void trusting that all will turn out alright.

My other boss and I were finally able to get them to leave, but we had to close our eyes/cover them to avoid the constant pin throwing from both of them before they finally walked out the door. -end of dream.

Who is this “other boss”? Is it someone in her corporate world that is more aligned with her needs at work? Is it a new aspect of her more defined sense of self that can guide her in a less intimidating way? He is protecting her in that they’re working together. They get the manager and lackey to leave. Is this her Divine Masculine trying to impart to her that she doesn’t need to do it all herself? Or that she is strong enough to take control over whatever is causing her stress?

But to get them to leave, they had to close their eyes and cover “their collective” vision. If the pins represent pricking us to look at something we are not dealing with, and the manager and lackey are the parts of our self that intimidate and bully our desire to leave a stressful situation behind….then the suggestion is “that the dreamer walk out the door of what confines and defines her” to find more joyous expression in her life. And balance the inner masculine with what she wants to experience externally either in her corporate life or relationship ventures.

To create it outside herself, she needs to create it inside herself first. The dream can bring awareness to where she isn’t allowing this, or generating this.

Thank you, dreamer for sharing.

FEAR

Let’s talk about fear for a minute. There seems to be a lot of it around every corner these days. Fear of covid, fear of the vaccine, fear of not being healthy, fear of the environment, fear that we are not worthy, fear that we are not loved, fear that our elected officials do not have our best interest in mind, fear of aging, fear of speaking our truth, fear of not attaining what we want, desire, or need. I could go on and on.

The problem with fear is that it pulls us off balance. Thoughts are things, and as such if we are in fear, we are not centered because we are reacting, not necessarily acting in our own best interest.

That said, ofttimes in dream scenarios, fear is generated to get our attention around something we are either not paying attention to or as a warning to help us bring something to light.

This dreamer named her dream FEAR, and on Hallowmas, today, ghosts and goblins abound. The tradition of Halloween started in the Celtic festival of Samhain (SAH-win). They would light bonfires and wear masks to scare off the ghosts as the veils between the dimensions are the thinnest at these times. I would like to think that “fear” dreams are simply “masking” something we need to face.

The dream:

Fear
In my dream I suddenly felt that I was in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation. I started planning to “get away”, I was not completely aware of what this situation was or where I was going to go. My youngest son was with me and I instructed him to gather all our stuff from outside & put it in my car, then I rushed him to gather all our stuff in the living area & put that in my car. My car is not that big, but apparently it was all going to fit. It was beginning to feel that we were running out of time to get all our stuff before “someone” was going to discover we were planning an escape and likely try to stop us. The last thing I instructed my son to get was his bedroom stuff. As he ran off to his room, suddenly it was the house he lived in during college, he disappeared up the steps. There were two doors & I wasn’t sure which door my son went up, I chose one door opening it and calling up to my son to hurry. He answered me and I was still at the bottom of the steps waiting for him. I then realized there were two very large ominous looking men standing in an imposing way behind me. They stood shoulder to shoulder, both had black facial hair, both wore black sweatshirts with the hoods up. One of them sends a quick whistle sound – to alert someone? I act like I think maybe they just wanted to go up the stairs. As I begin to feel uncomfortable with their presence I say “Oh, do you want to go up?” To which one of the men answers in a demonic, altered voice “Don’t you look handsome?” What he said didn’t make sense because I’m female, but it was his voice that paralyzed me with fear! I was trembling but reminded myself that when you are feeling an uncomfortable emotion it is best to sit with that feeling than to push it away. I tried to do that and it was making me feel less fearful, but then I woke up still trembling. Calming myself only by realizing it was not reality.

The Decoding:

In my dream I suddenly felt that I was in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation. I started planning to “get away”, I was not completely aware of what this situation was or where I was going to go. My youngest son was with me, and I instructed him to gather all our stuff from outside & put it in my car, then I rushed him to gather all our stuff in the living area & put that in my car.

Right away the dreamer is aware that something is not right. Her plans are to get away from whatever this perceived discomfort is. Possibly there is something in her world that needs to change, but she has yet to figure out in her waking state what direction that will take.

She has her youngest son with her. I would like to have known his name because that would have given me some additional information. Usually as mothers, we try and protect our young, but although this could have something to do with her son, more likely it is what her son represents within herself.

She is looking to gather all her ‘stuff’. Stuff possibly that she has carried with her a long time that is just taking up physical or emotional space and that is time to release. I say that because she is putting it in her car, and the car represents the physical body or place of living. It is also a vehicle that is supposed to move us forward, if it is weighted down, it cannot. All the stuff is in the ‘living area’ indicating she has been living with this ‘stuff’ for a long time.

My car is not that big, but apparently it was all going to fit. It was beginning to feel that we were running out of time to get all our stuff before “someone” was going to discover we were planning an escape and likely try to stop us.

Her capacity to hold the emotional changes in her life feels like it is too big, and yet she holds it anyway, finding a way for it all to ‘fit.’ Is she afraid of herself coming to a conclusion about what needs to change? Is she afraid someone will be hurt her should she make these changes? Is she afraid to make these changes for fear of being chastised or misunderstood by others? Who is this ‘someone or voice’ within herself, that her unconscious self (dreamer) wants her to become aware of?

The last thing I instructed my son to get was his bedroom stuff. As he ran off to his room, suddenly it was the house he lived in during college, he disappeared up the steps. There were two doors & I wasn’t sure which door my son went up. I chose one door opening it and calling up to my son to hurry. He answered me and I was still at the bottom of the steps waiting for him.

Again, she sends her son, which represents something within herself as he is merely an aspect of herself through what he represents in the dream, to go collect stuff in the bedroom. Bedrooms in dreams represent places where we recharge. Our ability to dream for the future; and it was the house her some lived in at college. College represents wanting or needing to learn something about her past to safely move forward in her future.

He goes up the stairs, representing going to a higher level of understanding or consciousness. There are two doors. Doors represent passageways, new opportunities, or changes. If they are open it means you are willing to pass through them. If they are closed it can mean either you haven’t taken advantage of something yet, or you feel the opportunity has passed you by.

Two on the Wisdom Wheels represents how to assess our life to live more of our truth. It also signifies how we choose to honor ourselves, or not. In the tarot, it represents the High Priestess, a major arcana card which is about the inner work needed before we bring it out in a balanced way to work with in our outer world. In numerology it is about partnership, harmony, and duality. Does this mean within herself, or with partnership, that she might wish to revisit? Is she conflicted when she considers this?

I then realized there were two very large ominous looking men standing in an imposing way behind me. They stood shoulder to shoulder, both had black facial hair, both wore black sweatshirts with the hoods up. One of them sends a quick whistle sound – to alert someone? I act like I think maybe they just wanted to go up the stairs.

Here we have the number 2 again. Being taken off-guard by two intimidating men wearing black feels ominous, but infact this is the important part of the dream where your dreaming self wants to fully get your attention. It could refer to feeling you will be taken by surprise around something in your waking world, especially if you let go of your past “stuff” or contemplate another relationship.

Black on the Wisdom Wheels is about ‘listening’ to yourself, your needs, your desires. It is a color of power, mystery, and inner strength. Black facial hair indicates you are potentially hiding something from yourself concerning your own wants and needs. Dressed in black indicates indecision not evil. And hoods indicate the crown chakra is covered, and hence as a dream symbol that you are not listening to your higher self or need to go to the higher levels of awareness to realize this information or new beginning. (Think of your son running up the stairs previously as the same metaphor.)

As I begin to feel uncomfortable with their presence I say “Oh, do you want to go up?” To which one of the men answers in a demonic, altered voice “Don’t you look handsome?” What he said didn’t make sense because I’m female, but it was his voice that paralyzed me with fear!

Where are you uncomfortable in your present state of affairs? It might be confusing because the symbology of this dream symbol (2 intimidating men-which are actually aspects of yourself), is asking you to addresses your inner masculine or your Divine Masculine. With the suggestion that you ‘look handsome’ although you are in a female physical body, redirects you to that aspect of yourself. We are both (Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine), no matter our gender or gender affiliation. The voice is altered to further to get your attention. And you are literally asking yourself: “Do you want to go up?” Do you wish to go deeper into the realms of the higher mind to find your answers?

What is your relationship with your inner masculine? Do you feel protected or that you always need to assume that role in your outer world? Do you only do it for others, or give that gift to yourself as well? These are all things to contemplate for change or a new direction, so you are not in fear or paralyzed to move forward.

I was trembling but reminded myself that when you are feeling an uncomfortable emotion it is best to sit with that feeling than to push it away. I tried to do that, and it was making me feel less fearful, but then I woke up still trembling. Calming myself only by realizing it was not reality.

This is brilliant. You know what you need to do on one level to stay calm and centered. You actualized that in the dreamstate, which means you can actualize that in your waking world, wherever these impending changes take you.

Thank you, dreamer, for sharing. Happy Samhain everyone. If we address our own ghosts and goblins the dark or unknown becomes the light and known.

Living the Dream

I want to begin this dream interpretation with a few comments. First (and again), the person who has the dream is the best one to consider if the dream symbology is important or applies to their waking life, and if the interpretation offered by others applies or helps with a better understanding of their dream. A dream interpretation (as used in these blog decoding’s), only offers another perspective to the symbology or archetypes of the dreamscape based on how I was trained to find pertinent clues within dreams, taught by my First Nation’s dream mentor, Grandmother Twylah Nitsch.

Sometimes when doing dream decoding, I will have no idea what the other person does or doesn’t do for a living, nor even their gender, culture, beliefs or upbringing. All those things contribute to the lens in which the Higher Self and the subconscious impart information symbolically to the dreamer. At those times, I go on pure instinct given my training. At other times I am aware of something about the person. This does not necessarily influence the decoding, although it often does provide me a lens through which the person’s dream self is trying to inform them. So sometimes knowing the situation, helps with the intent of the dream decoding. That said, if it makes no sense to the dreamer, that needs to be respected.

Gram shared that with her People, when someone had a dream, they would bring it to the family in the morning and everyone would speak to that dream symbology, if they had something meaningful or significant to share. In that sense, because the family knew each other well, they could help dissect the content within the dream, that the dreamer might not have considered. If the dream stumped everyone, they would take it to an elder for further discussion.

In this dream, I know both the gender and the career of this woman’s daughter. But, that is all I know about her. To me, the symbols provided some clear information about what she may be dealing with, given the world’s current situation with covid limitations. Whether this is an accurate assessment, or provides helpful information to the dreamer, is up to her.

This is a time of very vivid dreaming for many, especially for those who remember their dreams. We are in both a new timeline, as well as an influx of photons and neutrinos, given our alignment with the Central Sun of Galactic Center and our own sun & planetary alignments, that potentially stimulate our nightly sojourns.

The Dream:

My daughter keeps having really vivid dreams! What d’you reckon about this one… She’s part of a big Irish family and they are burying a dead body of an old man but they do it in a strange way where his head is still visible above ground, then a plastic barrier is made all around the grave with chicken wire on top. Suddenly she is playing basketball and the grave is in the basketball court so she has to be careful not to tread on it but she notices that the plastic surround is all broken already. She carries on playing basketball then turns quickly and thinks she sees the face move!

The Decoding:


She’s part of a big Irish family and they are burying a dead body of an old man, but they do it in a strange way where his head is still visible above ground, then a plastic barrier is made all around the grave with chicken wire on top.


Because I know the daughter of this person is in the theater, the content becomes really important for the decoding. Given the daughter’s dream symbol of being part of a big ‘Irish family’ I felt this could symbolize being a member of a larger group of people (like a theater troupe) who have fun and enjoy each other (the clan mentality), however (like the Irish) there is an underlying sadness, something has died. I clearly saw the theater masks of comedy & tragedy when reading this.

Due to covid, the way the theater used to perform in front of audience’s has ‘died’ or no longer is the same. The old man represents the old way, and his head above ground represents that she is ‘thinking’ of how to carry forward. The head is at the top of the body when standing and when we are moving forward in life; it represents continuing to strive toward one’s goals.

The head is still visible, because ‘the family’ or troupe is trying to figure out ways to keep this endeavor alive or active, the theater is in flux, but not totally dead. Barriers represent a division, and that they are plastic barriers can symbolize that one can see forward, but it is not clear (like Vaseline on a window). Plastic also is not organic, so the dreamer might be feeling that although they have some work moving out of covid, the ‘parameters’ they are being forced to practice within do not feel as authentic as the way she did her work before. Dreaming of a grave suggests there is a longing for something that was, and that one is recovering from a trauma. I think especially with things like music venues, the theater, etc. those artistic folks took the hardest hit.

Dreaming of a wire fence (chicken wire) can be positive or negative depending on the scenario. On the Wisdom Wheels, chickens represent conformity as well as continuity. So, I see that the troupe will need to conform to certain things that feel inorganic (plastic) but that they can move forward with their craft even though they feel barred from somethings (chicken wire) or clearly blocked in ways they wish to share their craft, as they once did. You can see through or past chicken wire, but there are still barriers there.

Suddenly she is playing basketball and the grave is in the basketball court so she has to be careful not to tread on it but she notices that the plastic surround is all broken already. She carries on playing basketball then turns quickly and thinks she sees the face move!


When a dream sequence shifts dramatically like this, it is the Higher Self trying to reinforce the message in an entirely different way. Basketball is a game where two opposing forces (in this case possibly theater vs the new demands due to covid), struggle to find the way to win over a situation and be respected for their efforts. She is careful not to tread on the rules, but things feel broken in how she used to experience her career.

Basketballs themselves suggest someone has a better idea, but she is on a basketball court, so there is more than just one voice involved as to how to proceed. She carries on with this game, though she struggles as to how the respect and happiness will return to her craft. There are new considerations amidst working with others and the demands or ideas that now influence the ‘game.’

When she turns and sees the face move, that is actually a good sign. It shows she doesn’t quite know just yet how the changes she needs to feel part of that “Irish family again” or experience a win as a team player on the court might manifest, but she is willing to carry on. Then her new insights, her joy of the theater, and her ability to logically brainstorm with others on how to move forward, will actually bring renewal to her theater activities. It’s actually a sign that things aren’t dead, but a rebirth of the arts is available. 

Thank you dreamer for sharing your dream.

Abundance

There will be no intro this blog post. My family is dealing with an issue and I have little time unfortunately to post. I know I am sliding this in at the end of July 🙂 The name of this dream was created by the dreamer. I often ask participants in my dream classes to label their dreams upon rising as an indicator of what feeling they are left with, or what their dreaming self is trying to awaken them to that lies just below the surface.

THE DREAM:

My Dream (Abundance) 

Standing in the Mom’s old kitchen in front of the sink looking out the window. 

There are clear plastic drawers underneath the sink. 

I pull out the left drawer and there is a beautiful eggplant.  I pick it up and look at it, turn it around and back around again but decide that even though it was beautiful, I’ll put it back in the drawer. 

I pull out the right drawer and there are large lemons bulging with seeds.  They are bulging so much, I can take a knife and scraping the seeds out easily.  The seeds just fall out.  There were so many that by the time I got them out they had already sprouted into seedlings. 

I have plastic baggies in my hands now with long lemon seedlings in them.  They have many leaves and they are very green.  I put a clip on the bag so the new seedlings don’t fall out. 

 I wake up. 

DECODING:

Standing in the Mom’s old kitchen in front of the sink looking out the window. 

Mom represents someone who nurtures us, so this would be the nurturing aspect of the dreamer, the one who wishes to ‘mother’ her in this dream. It is also a representation of her mother and whatever relationship they had/have. Kitchen also is the nurturing part of the home/house, generally a place we are fed both physically and emotionally. The sink is a place where we wash, although the dreamer doesn’t indicate that the water is on, it is a place we clean the residue off of what we have nurtured ourselves with. It symbolizes washing away issues of the past or outworn concepts, unresolved feelings. Thus, it can indicate a need for inner emotional cleansing.

Windows are often labeled ‘doorways to the soul’, as well representing having an outer or external view of something or some situation. The fact that it is an old kitchen, indicates this might be an old issue or memory of the dreamer that is coming forth for healing or perhaps has been long buried and needs to be restructured.

There are clear plastic drawers underneath the sink. 

Plastic is manmade and something that is not natural. Drawers are where we store things. The fact that they are clear and under the sink, suggest that the dreamer’s ‘vision’ is now ready to see the emotional charge of where she has potentially stored feelings which she now needs to see more clearly. It is time to address them, because they are not natural in the sense that they no longer serve a purpose. How is she nurturing herself? How was she nurtured? Is she expected to be the nurturer of others, past the obligations she needs to direct towards herself? 

I pull out the left drawer and there is a beautiful eggplant.  I pick it up and look at it, turn it around and back around again but decide that even though it was beautiful, I’ll put it back in the drawer. 

She opens the left drawer, this is the heart side, the side that gives, the yin energy in all of us. She finds a beautiful eggplant. Eggplants suggests it is time to delve deeper into herself and her inner knowing.  This is not hubris or ego, it is something the higher self is directing her to consider and something that has been put aside for way to long.

Eggplants signify success, their color is the same as that of our third eye chakra. Simply described, the third eye chakra is about breaking through illusions and linking to your inner knowing. Her higher self wants her to have success in trusting this inner process. Yet she puts it back in the draw. Does she trust this strong beautiful part of herself?

I pull out the right drawer and there are large lemons bulging with seeds.  They are bulging so much, I can take a knife and scraping the seeds out easily.  The seeds just fall out.  There were so many that by the time I got them out they had already sprouted into seedlings. 

The right side represents the part of us that takes, but it needs to learn to do that with grace and gratitude.

It is the yang side of ourselves where logic is more apt to drive us.  Depending on the context of the dream or story, lemons can represent longevity or friendship, but they can also represent bitterness and resentment about something. In Feng Shui, lemons neutralize negative energy; that’s why you see bowls of them in the kitchen or the dinning room because that is where people gather. Does the dreamers ‘logic’ tell her to neutralize what she needs for herself, in lieu of others needs, wants or desires.

To dream of a proliferation of lemon seeds (or seeds of any sort), usually indicates you need to look to the future to ‘plant’ something new. It is fascinating that they are already sprouting seedlings, indicating that there are so many ways this dreamer might be able to reconfigure her future should she unpack the past and listen to her inner knowing.

The seedlings represent how abundant her need is to feel love and establish a path of continuation in life that nurtures her in a more enriching way. As the dream title indicates, her dreaming self and higher self and inner knowing are offering her an abundant amount of symbols to assess her needs and to grow anew.

I have plastic baggies in my hands now with long lemon seedlings in them.  They have many leaves, and they are very green.  I put a clip on the bag, so the new seedlings don’t fall out. 

This part is curious to me, hands represent what we are willing to reach for in life. She takes these seedlings that should be planted to find fertile ground, and puts them in plastic bags (like the plastic drawers). What is she not reaching for, that she desires?

Placing them in plastic bags indicates she will still carry these unexpressed feelings around with her, but what will she actively do with them is the question? That is the gift of the dream sequence and the outward direction she must decide on. What will she finally give herself, that she clearly knows she wants or needs and yet derails herself from taking.

The green leaves are verdant, metaphorically they are needing air and sun to continue to grow. Leaves often represent new beginnings and the end of something old…. like Spring foliage after the barrenness of Winter. Green on the Wisdom Wheels indicates childhood issues that need to be addressed. The energy of the past needs to deconstruct old believes, habits or obligations to be able to reconstruct something more beneficial and life enhancing.

In the dream, she chooses to put a clip on it, presumably not wanting them to fall out, but this also limits her ability to allow them to grow and supply her with a more abundant life. The dreamer has work to be done around why she holds herself back from working more with the ‘eggplant energy’ which could free her from situations that hold her to obligations that don’t allow her to nurture herself in more abundant and fulfilling ways.

 I wake up. 

 Thank you, dreamer, for sharing.

The Ilse of Self

I was totally out of dream offers last month, which is why there was no April blog. In the interim, I received dreams from 3 different people over the last two weeks. I will get to each of these in the upcoming months, but please know that these blogs are stimulated by you sharing your dreamscapes. And I thank you for doing so.

Quite a few people over the past year have emailed, sharing that their dreams have intensified; become more powerful or more visual; brought them back to past live scenarios, ancestral information that had not been known; or provided reviews of experiences with people, places or things from years gone by in this current incarnation. On the same note, their dreams have taken them into future scenarios, not necessarily prophetic, but possibilities and Earth awareness.

I believe this has a lot to do with a few of things. First, we have all been isolated to one degree or another during this past year and a half due to the covid shutdown. Keeping us alone has made us turn more inward. Dreams usually filter out the issues and experiences we have had during the day. So, without constant external stimuli as many of us had been experiencing daily, our dreams have the potential to take us to unprocessed issues from the past or bring up people from our past as a stimulus to review.

Second, scientifically, the Schumann Resonance of the earth is spiking the electromagnetic frequency on the planet. According to one source, “Absorbing these frequencies causes the water in the body to begin to vibrate at the frequency of the spike. This can cause many uncomfortable symptoms but, in the end, it is also a testament that something is really happening to our planet and to our consciousness.” As such, these higher frequencies recalibrate the Earth’s magnetic frequencies, which would have an influence on the human auric field. This in turn affects blockages in the auric field that can bring on spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical affects that may help us recalibrate and come into sync with Earth awareness and personal awareness.  One theory posits, “When sleep is initiated brain frequencies first fall into a range where synchronization with the first Schumann resonance could occur.” Hence, we are our more open to this influence in the dreamtime.

Further, we are receiving neutrinos as our sun is passing into direct alignment with the Central Sun of Galactic Center and sending light encoded energies through our sun into our human biofield. This revolution takes approximately 12,000+ years, so this is a big deal as evolutionary light bathes our planet. Again, this would have a profound effect on our dreamtime. Likewise, we are going through the Photon Belt which is a powerful emitter of energy that helps the individual, as well as the collective, have the potential to lose the constraints of time, density, and literally syncs to the source of our unfettered light beingness. Nightly our dreams offer us this release from the time/space constraints of our believed history/herstory, for deeper self-awareness.

I think I will stop there, as that went longer than I anticipated, LOL. I do love these times of dreaming a new reality. Where you put your intentions, and how you cleanse your field of false beliefs about yourself, is where you will experience your conceived reality.

THE DREAM

I had a dream that I was on an island with friends. They were trying to find people who would make drawings. I was feeling left out and wondering why I wasn’t asked, as I am an art therapist. Phuli(smart) and Nirmala (big heart) were there. I was asked and told I would be paid $83 dollars. I had to find people/children with mental illness and ask them to make a drawing of happiness. I wasn’t sure how I could do this as I would be taking a week off, but I decided to do it.

THE DECODING:

I had a dream that I was on an island with friends.

This dreamer is feeling isolated (the island), but desires to do/know more, as some of her friends are present. Covid has made us all feel like islands. Islands are surrounded by the water/ocean. The dreamer does not mention it, but I wonder if the water was turbulent, smooth, crystal clear, etc. This would give some direction as to the emotions, as water signifies the emotional body or where we are emotionally in the day to day.

Being with friends—so although the dreamer is feeling isolated, at this point in the dream sequence, it does not appear to create a sense of being lonely or alone. Islands can reflect that the dreamer needs some peace of mind around an issue or situation. It could also reflect that these friends are aspects of her inner pantheon that she has discovered or are as yet undiscovered.

They were trying to find people who would make drawings. I was feeling left out and wondering why I wasn’t asked, as I am an art therapist.

When people make drawings, they are revealing an aspect of themselves. It is not the dreamer who is instructed to find people, but the friends. This could suggest that inner parts of herself are pushing her to reveal more of who she is, or what she wants in her outer world, but she has yet to define that clearly even to herself. This indicates that the dreamer is possibly hesitant to reveal those deeper parts of herself she wishes to be seen for.

This makes her feel alone and not appreciated, despite the fact that her insecurity is self-induced. She sees herself as having the skill set to decipher these drawings as she is an art therapist, but she is still in the process of revealing herself, to herself. She is aware of these isolated parts within herself, but still cautious or uncertain as to how to project her needs/wants/desires fully into her outer environment to feel more connection, and less isolation. Sometimes wanting to draw, but not initiating the act of drawing, is a sign of unfulfilled hopes, or fear of making them real.

Phuli (smart) and Nirmala (big heart) were there. I was asked and told I would be paid $83 dollars.

As I have suggested in past blogs, the people we see in dreams are who they represent to us, and likewise an aspect of ourselves. The dreamer has taken the initiative it would seem from this sentence, to ask to participate in the activity of discovery.

We are all the directors of our own play, so if we do not ask, we do not receive, and thus create our own isolation. This does not mean we will always get what we want, but others do not know what we desire if we cannot express that. At the same time, we need to accept a yes or a no, without further self-isolation as a reaction to perceived rejection. Everyone is just trying to figure it out through accepting what may be right for them in the moment. It is here that learning detachment is a healthy skill.

Phuli represents that the dreamer wants to be seen for her intelligence, and Nirmala represents that she also wants to be understood for her big heartedness. She was told by these inner parts of herself that she would be paid $83. Numerologically, 8+3=11. Eleven is a high vibration number indicating the dreamer needs to see her value and worth without outside influences. 11 is also the Lust card in the Crowley tarot, representing courage, vitality, love of life, instinct, passion, and the willingness to take risks. These attributes are reminders to the dreamer of what she needs to tap to be more confident with herself.

On the Wisdom Wheels presented through Grandmother Twylah’s work,  11 stands for magnetism and boundaries—in other words what we are willing to draw to ourselves, or release from ourselves determines what we will experience and the boundaries we chose to draw, to share or not, becomes our personal rite of learning self-autonomy. Many consider the number 11 the number of the dreamer, because it is also the vibration of channeled illumination from our subconscious. A reason I continue to express why it is so important to listen to your dreams.

I had to find people/children with mental illness and ask them to make a drawing of happiness. I wasn’t sure how I could do this as I would be taking a week off, but I decided to do it.

This is a curious sentence and reveals something the dreamer may feel unconsciously about herself. People and children represent aspects of the self, now and what has been framed in childhood. Does the dreamer feel out of step with herself? Does she question that she has some form of mental misunderstanding of life; or her issues are all mentally oriented and hard to resolve; or perhaps mentally projects her needs of self-value onto the reaction of others? It is here that the dreamer needs to work at integration for a truer, more authentic sense of personal happiness. The dreamer is still unclear how to ‘draw; or create this happiness but is willing to try.

The dreamer decides to take a week off. A week equals 7 days. Seven days is the biblical number of Creation. 7 on the Wisdom Wheel stands for overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way of loving ourselves. These arise based on past judgements by self and others. It is true, Rome was not built in a day, but the dreamer seems to be ready to direct and draw more self-determination for her own happiness moving forward.

Thank you, dreamer, for sharing.

Curtains, Raccoons, and 70’s Songs

Lots of visuals in this dream, so I will get right to it. I wish the dreamer could have remembered the song, it would have added a lot to the decoding. I would also liked to have asked her where she was, or what she was doing in the 70’s, or perhaps what the family was up to. This is why doing these in person can be so enriching, because you get to dialogue with the dreamer and they usually remember more. When you are going at a dream blind-folded it is harder to get all the nuances.

I just want to address raccoons before we start. These critters have multiple meanings and so it will be up to the dreamer to decide which might apply. On the one hand they can be seen as bandits, deceptive, trash pickers, and scavengers. In Native lore they can represent family or fatherly protectors, cleanliness, dexterity, and inquisitiveness. They are no longer only woodland or even suburban animals, they are now prevalent in cities as well. They can unmask deception as well as cunningly get at what they want, either way they are clever, resourceful, and survivalists.

The Dream

I was fixing the curtains in the living room moving them back into the hooks to hold them but I was wondering why the kitchen valence pattern was now our pattern on our curtains in the living room. Then I turn towards the kitchen and see all this food on the kitchen floor all trash, cookie pieces, veggies, all covering the floor. I walk into kitchen and there’s a racoon in there. It turns in a circle towards the slider but the slider is closed.  Turns back to me and hisses. I’m so confused because all the doors are closed. I grab a broom and hold it like I’m going into battle (it’s a short broom) and try to shoo it but don’t know where to shoo it to. I wasn’t scared in my dream I just knew I needed to take care of this.  It was so real, the house was my house now. I woke with a song in my head but lost it. It was playing during my dream on my echo while I was fixing the curtains. It was loud but I forgot it. It was a 70’s classic but can’t grasp it. 

The Decoding:

I was fixing the curtains in the living room moving them back into the hooks to hold them but I was wondering why the kitchen valence pattern was now our pattern on our curtains in the living room.

We hang curtains to hide or block things from the eyes of the outside world. When we hang them on hooks we are trying to stabilize or secure something. Living rooms represent mental, emotional or physical comfort. It is where we relax with family or are entertained, or do our entertaining. Each room in a house stands for an aspect of our self, so the kitchen would symbolize how we nurture or feed our self. The patterns have all become the same on the living room and kitchen curtains. In other words there is something that cannot be hidden anymore.

I would suggest this dreamer may be trying to hide or camouflage how others see her. She is trying to hold it all in place by fixing things, but her emotional, physical or mental patterns do not necessarily bring her comfort. Her usual ways of nurturing herself, or potentially “feeding” her needs, do not feel stable and are encroaching on how she is currently accepting life as it is.

Then I turn towards the kitchen and see all this food on the kitchen floor all trash, cookie pieces, veggies, all covering the floor. I walk into kitchen and there’s a racoon in there. It turns in a circle towards the slider but the slider is closed.  Turns back to me and hisses.

When she turns back to the kitchen, where one could find sustenance (energetic or literal) everything is trashed. Trash or garbage represent things that have not been processed. It could also imply things from the past as a child that have been wasted because they are on the floor, symbolizing our foundation. Cookies represent happiness, but they are in pieces and vegetables represent healthy nutrition. This takes me back to my initial question, what was going on in this dreamer’s family in the 70’s, as happiness and nurturing seemed to only partially offer her foundational support for where she finds herself in adulthood.

She sees a raccoon. Gram Twylah suggested raccoons represented fatherly protection, or at the least family support. It goes in circles telling me the dreamer needed to learn to adapt to life back then on her own. The slider is closed. Sliders can move freely back and forth, but this one is not able to move. She may feel stuck in some aspect of her life, or closed off to something she wishes to experience. The raccoon turns back and hisses its warning.

The raccoon is hissing, to get her attention, but it is also threatening. I can offer a twofold explanation. For the dreamer to begin to learn to nurture herself in more healthy ways (as the inner parent), does that feel threatening? Or for her to see where she has locked things away that no longer serve her adult self, does that need her attention? Spiritually raccoons signify belief in our self.

I’m so confused because all the doors are closed. I grab a broom and hold it like I’m going into battle (it’s a short broom) and try to shoo it but don’t know where to shoo it to. I wasn’t scared in my dream I just knew I needed to take care of this. 

This tells me that the dreamer is ready to do battle with her past. Brooms sweep things away, they clean up the trash, what needs to go. The broom is short, signifying that the inner turmoil isn’t as pronounced as it might once have been, but that there are still realizations or acceptances that will allow for more comfort in this dreamer’s life once they are named. By her own admission she is not afraid to confront those things, she is perplexed though that there are still some ‘doors’ or passageways into her past, that are as yet unexplored. Growth of the self never ends, there is always more to acknowledge or process as we become more aware. She knows she will address and take care of what needs to be done.

It was so real, the house was my house now. I woke with a song in my head but lost it. It was playing during my dream on my echo while I was fixing the curtains. It was loud but I forgot it. It was a 70’s classic but can’t grasp it. 

Hearing songs in a dream is a message about something. That is why it would have been wonderful to know what this song was as the words would have offered the dreamer inspiration. Even knowing who sang the song would give further information for this dreamer to digest. That she cannot remember the words suggests there are still some things within herself to uncover, or to grasp so she can be in a happier place-either internally or externally, or both.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

Happiness Sometimes Equals Change.

I have heard from a lot of folks over the past year that they are dreaming about people from their past, or about those who have passed. One viewpoint from Jungian psychology is that seeing people from your past suggests that there is currently a lesson for you to uncover in your day to day.
These people might be those who you liked or disliked, so they carry a symbolic meaning that may represent personality traits or aspects about yourself, that need to be addressed. On the other hand, they may be a vehicle or symbol suggesting that something, as you have known it, is ending. Alternatively, they can represent who they were, trying to give you a message.

If the dream visitor has passed, they may be part of your mourning process (even after many years), or reflect a memory, or even offer a premonition. Mediums will tell you that those on the other side can still reach and teach us. My indigenous mentors suggested that dreaming of the ancestors, or family members who have crossed, were opportunities to uncover something needing addressing in our waking state, recover information, remind us of something, or assist in situations to come.

As always, the interpretations I offer are suggestions, the one who knows best is the dreamer.

THE DREAM:

My husband and I are checking into a hotel. The hotel is colorful blues and whites mostly. We are happy. As we approach our room there is a very large bird (eagle) maybe in the steps. The wings are huge, and the Bird is mostly Grey with blue and white trimmed wings. I think to myself oh boy I hope they move that. We check into our room and leave. When we arrive back there is another bird in our room in the bed. Again, it is a big bird. I get upset and think Someone broke in. But then I realize we left the door open. I’m a little upset and then tell my husband to call someone and as I go out the door there is a man standing there.

I tell him what happened but when I look at him, he smiles. As he looks up, I say oh my God you look just like my dad. I can’t even be mad about this. He is wearing a green/brown jacket and is dressed like a workman. Then I wake up.

The Decoding:

My husband and I are checking into a hotel. The hotel is colorful blues and whites mostly. We are happy. As we approach our room there is a very large bird (eagle) maybe in the steps. The wings are huge, and the Bird is mostly Grey with blue and white trimmed wings. I think to myself oh boy I hope they move that.

Hotels are associated with temporary places to stay, whereas homes are more symbolic of where we feel safe. This indicates a few things, that the feelings of happiness you hold are temporary based on the circumstances. It can also suggest that you are in a transitory place in your life, or about to start out on a new path. The dreaming mind is trying to get you to move forward and not stay stuck with where you may find yourself, based on past circumstances or assessments.

The hotel is colorful blues & whites. On the Wisdom Wheels white has to do with boundaries, (not walls), we can move boundaries back and forth with how comfortable and safe we feel. It also has to do with magnetism, which is the concept of being able to attract into our life the people, places and things that support us, or release the people places or situations that are limiting our growth or happiness. Blue is usually about trusting your intuition or offering you a teaching. It asks the question: are you in service, or are you in servitude—to something or someone?

In the dream, you two are happy, indicating there is a hope that this time away from the day-to-day goes smoothly and joyously. But as you approach the room, something blocks your path. You suggest an eagle. In some of the Native traditions eagle is the messenger of peace; it also is indicative of the power of Great Spirit/God giving us a message or direction. It teaches one to broaden their “sense of self” beyond what is presently visible, and helps guide you to a state of grace.

What strikes me about this bird is the repeat of the colors. Gray is about learning to honor your Self and your needs—which is the energy directly opposite the color blue on the Wisdom Wheels. As such, this contributes information about your state of mind. Blue (adjust where you may be in servitude to something or someone else); and white (which is about personal boundaries that need to be respected). BUT, by the size of the bird and its colors, I do not believe it is an eagle; those colors suggest a Great Blue Heron.

Blue Herons are likewise sacred Medicine birds; they teach us to seek serenity achieved through inner peace. So, whether it was an eagle or a Great Blue Heron, peace is still the object of this symbol. Herons are a wonderful, nurturing mothering bird, so can sometimes suggest that one’s inner/outer world is off balance, because they are nurturing everyone else in lieu of themselves— again the concept of service vs. servitude. Either way you want someone to come help you move this energy that blocks your path moving forward.

We check into our room and leave. When we arrive back there is another bird in our room in the bed. Again, it is a big bird. I get upset and think ‘someone broke in’. But then I realize we left the door open. I’m a little upset and then tell my husband to call someone and as I go out the door, there is a man standing there.

You are already leaving the room before you have even stayed. So, I would ask you where you were going? What was the room like? Was it bright or dingy? Was the bed made or unmade? All these would suggest something.

You left the door open, which implies you are ready to “open something up” for your own review. Dreaming of a hotel in any form often emotionally implies how you feel about your relationship with your partner; but partners can also imply partnership with our inner male/female qualities. Alternatively, husbands in dreams represent how we are loving ourselves or how we feel loved. It is an aspect of your Self, not necessarily your husband in the waking world; you might have a lovely relationship in your marriage, but do you in your marriage with yourself? Being at a hotel with your partner, suggests you wish to have a component of your relationship (with him or within yourself), be refreshed or expanded from what you might be feeling in the day-to-day at home.

As you get to your room there is another big bird. Birds in general indicate imagination, happiness, freedom, or the ability to fly away. If they are big, it can indicate the issue is getting bigger and bigger for you to address. You are upset and immediately feel someone broke in.

This tells me that something about dwelling or expanding your awareness of these topics, when you just came to be happy, feels like pressure from without. Perhaps pressure to grow the Self. But how do you wish to confront these blocks or renegotiate boundaries that arise and impact your happiness? Do you wish to merely escape the feeling or make the changes necessary for extended happiness. In this case the birds are suggesting that you need to get a higher perspective of your situation, by seeing it from another point of view.

There is a man there. I tell him what happened but when I look at him, he smiles. As he looks up, I say oh my God you look just like my dad. I can’t even be mad about this. He is wearing a green/brown jacket and is dressed like a workman. Then I wake.

As you go to get help, you see a man. You are telling this person, initially a perceived stranger, about your issues. Suddenly you realize that he reminds you of your Dad. I would ask you, what was your relationship with like with your dad?

This ‘dad figure’ that shows up, takes you emotionally in a completely opposite direction. You cannot be mad about the ‘birds’ anymore. Whatever is currently impacting a decision you need to make in your daily reality that can shift your emotions, symbolical his presence makes you happy. This is a reminder of what you are not feeling, and wish to feel—happier.

Dad in this case could be a true visitation from him, reminding you that you are able to make changes in your world that bring you more happiness; likewise, he could just be a symbol of your own inner authority or protection, to help you address that which needs to change. Either way he got your attention and shifted your mood. Grabbing your attention is the important aspect here.

He is wearing a green and brown jacket and he looks like a workman. This signifies that whatever issue/s you are working through will take some work on your part, but working hard at something can bring success, inner peace, and joy.

Brown and green on the Native Wisdom Wheels likewise (like gray and blue), fall directly across from each other, indicating you can draw on the support you require to work through whatever ‘this topic of change or awareness needs to shift’ is within your inner knowing. Brown is about reorganizing yourself, building stronger foundations for yourself, and knowing what needs to be done to live your truth. Green is about using right will, not willfulness to accomplish this. Green also is a color of childhood, where the memories of who we wanted to be were first imagined. So again, the theme symbolized through ‘dad’ helps bring back childhood memories for you to remember that you wanted for yourself. Perhaps his image is a reminder of that?

Thank you, dreamer, for sharing.

I always enjoy when folks get back to me about what the decoding addressed for them. In this case, this dreamer wrote two days later and shared that she had made a huge adjustment in her business and was so much happier that she did. Happiness sometimes equals changes we have hesitated to make. Your ‘dreamer-self’ is always guiding.

The Road Less Traveled

This is a rather long dream, so I am not going to say a lot initially before decoding. What I will share is that when we dream of our partner so prominently throughout the dream sequence, it can imply the opposite part of ourselves. That is not to say that the individual does not fully represent who they are in the dreamer’s life and storyline (dream’s are multi-leveled as I have often said), but they also represent a part of the dreamer that the dreamer needs to more fully discover and embody.

In this case it is male/female, but these are not always gender specific. We all, no matter our sexual preference or lifestyle, have both the divine feminine and the divine masculine elements within our soul essence. When we find that union, we develop our voice. We are each encouraged to explore, learn to listen to, and find balance in those aspects of Self; it is that knowing that can offer us a sense of sovereignty and direction in life.   

The Dream

Daniel is driving. I’m sitting next to him and we had to reroute due to construction
Heading up a hill it’s almost as if we already are on a dirt road. The road goes to the left or the right.
I’m saying I think we can’t go there, and he still drives and says I’ll figure it out. This man in a dusty white tank top and a hard hat tries to stop and redirect him but he makes a right turn anyways. It’s only dirt and hard to drive. Sand is flying around as he hits the gas. I remember thinking I could never drive in all that sand and dirt. Holding on tightly as he drives, it’s bumpy, dusty, and scary but I’m not feeling worried for my life. Mostly I don’t want police problems. The man is chasing us.
He swings by a house and somehow, I’m all of a sudden in the house running downstairs to get out. I’m kind of talking to Daniel while going/running thru house saying what I’m doing. Running downstairs. Maybe I’m giving him directions how to get out.
As I’m coming down-stairs toward the bottom floor I see a woman with children trying to get in to her home. The front door is all glass. She is a brunette with a kind of aprony dress, light bluish. I run up to the door while thinking how do I do this without scaring her. I start explaining while opening her door from the inside. She comes in and seems fine. Then I’m sitting in the room with her and her children. All of a sudden she is blonde, and all the children are Blond too. They are small (not babies) and beautiful children. It seems like there are more and more. I’m counting and counting. She is kind of teaching them but sitting next to me saying stuff like, “what word can you use for that”. Also including math. I ask if she home schools and then realize from her answer, that every child is home schooled now….we are in the midst of a pandemic. I try to act as normal as possible as if I belong and there and there is nothing strange with me being here. I ask them some questions and engage a little with the children, holding the little ones and being sweet with them.
The children are multiplying…I’m confused and counting and counting.
Then she is no longer sitting next to me but standing in front of us all smoking a joint, she offers me, and I turn it down. Then she hands it to someone and I’m thinking, WHAT! I thought she was miss healthy homeschooling mom! Turns out there are more parents in the room mostly sitting on the floor. They take a joint and share it. I feel the need to engage with children to distract them from this. I start talking and teaching them. I want them to know not all adults smoke, and want to say it’s bad, but don’t. I’m still the underdog here with police probably looking for me. Daniel is in the room and I am not sure if he smoked or not, normally he would not, but I’m not sure if he is joining them or not.
I get woken up by my dog.

Decoding

Daniel is driving. I’m sitting next to him and we had to reroute due to construction.
Heading up a hill it’s almost as if we already are on a dirt road. The road goes to the left or the right. I’m saying I think we can’t go there, and he still drives and says I’ll figure it out.

This is an interesting way to start the dream. Daniel is driving the car, which means he is the one in control in most domestic situations. Cars represent how we are moving forward in our life. Daniel means, “God is my judge,” so I would ask when he is dominant or insistent around certain issues in this relationship, does she feel judged, and/or take a ”passenger seat’ position?

There is construction up ahead making the road impassable. There is something that needs to be rebuilt on the path this union is taking-either with Daniel, or perhaps with her inner male. She is in need of feeling stronger to make alternative decisions; or to receive from her divine masculine the protection she needs with choices to feel she has more authority and self autonomy.

They are going up a hill, indicating this relationship might be encountering a hard stretch ahead. Or that she is coming to some determination about her own personal needs. The road is dirt, a sign to create stabilization. Driving up a hill often means fear of change on a love level. The dirt road is identified as a road less traveled by this couple and could mean they need to rebuild (mirroring the construction), or redefine what this relationship really needs to flourish.

The road goes to the left or the right, she doesn’t specify. The dreamer hasn’t been able to choose a direction, and when she offers that this might be too hard to accomplish, the partner steps forward and says “he will figure it out.” Leaving one of two possibilities-she is either not part of that discussion, or she doesn’t ‘know’ how to insert herself in a stronger way for fear of losing something.

This man in a dusty white tank top and a hard hat tries to stop and redirect him, but he makes a right turn anyways. It’s only dirt and hard to drive. Sand is flying around as he hits the gas. I remember thinking I could never drive in all that sand and dirt. Holding on tightly as he drives, it’s bumpy, dusty, and scary but I’m not feeling worried for my life. Mostly I don’t want police problems. The man is chasing us.

There is a man in a white tank top and hard hat that tries to stop the car. Notice she says, “tries to redirect him, (Daniel), but he makes a right turn anyway. This man in the road may be someone that sees this is a situation that may come to trouble, or remind her of trouble in another relationship she had. It can be someone from her past. A man that flexed his weight around; who showed his strength in inappropriate ways; some one that was ‘hard headed’. Someone potentially that she needed to establish firm boundaries with and run from. Those memories could be mirroring a direction she is not establishing in her current relationship, taking her down a similar road that feels out of her control. Yes, white tank tops and hard hats can symbolize that.

Now Daniel, steps on the gas, increasing the pressure in the situation. He veers to the right, suggesting he will do what he wants-he seems conscious in the way he is moving forward in life, does the dreamer feel she is? She doesn’t know how to negotiate all this, its’ bumpy (not smooth living); dusty (needing to be cleaned up); and scary (this relationship path in which she has given over so much energy or power to). Within this current relationship she is not worried for her life. But, she doesn’t want some one outside this union with authority (policeman), to tell her what to do. Whoever that man is from the past, his memory is “chasing her” as she tries to negotiate where she currently is, in this relationship and figure something out for herself.

He swings by a house and somehow, I’m all of a sudden in the house running downstairs to get out. I’m kind of talking to Daniel while going/running thru house saying what I’m doing. Running downstairs. Maybe I’m giving him directions how to get out.

The dream and dreamer become confused here. Now she’s in the house running downstairs. Going down represents going into our unconscious to find an answer. She’s ‘kind of talking’ to Daniel, because, this inner search has to be her own process of uncovering; and in finding her inner masculine for guidance. She doesn’t know what she is doing by her own admission. Who is she trying to get out-better understanding with Daniel; her divine masculine’s ability to take charge (which might make a situation come to a head); the ghost from her past that she needs to readdress the impact that had on her. I imagine it is all of these, that’s what a deep dive into ourselves exposes.

As I’m coming down-stairs toward the bottom floor I see a woman with children trying to get in to her home. The front door is all glass. She is a brunette with a kind of aprony dress, light bluish.

She gets to the bottom of the basement, to the root of things. There is a brunette haired woman with children trying to get into her home. The home is the psych; all the children are aspects of the dreamer trying to get to her, to offer personal information. It appears this part is multi-layered representing her unconscious or subconscious trying to come to light. Maybe when she was a child, or her children, or possibly the ‘children or ‘inner child’ work she does with others. There needs to be self-directed nurturing in ways that she hasn’t possibly felt in life; she’s been the giver, now she needs to give to herself. The front door being glass suggests a clear opening or passage way in which she has the ability to reach into her past, her present and her future.

Brunette haired woman in dreams suggest there are troubles in love that need to be addressed. It also represents brown on the Wisdom Wheels. The vibration represented by brown is used to guide or nurture one to organize life in ways that help us know and formulate the truth we wish to live.

Blue apron, represents (again from the Wisdom Wheels and the image of serving something or someone in an apron), suggests trusting her intuition to uncover where she may be in service or servitude to a belief that no longer serves her moving forward. It is also the color of the throat chakra, and is about speaking up or speaking about her own needs, truth, desires, likes and dislikes. It’s empowering to be in service to the Self.

I run up to the door while thinking how do I do this without scaring her. I start explaining while opening her door from the inside. She comes in and seems fine. Then I’m sitting in the room with her and her children. All of a sudden she is blonde, and all the children are Blond too.

She goes to the door, ready to open to her memories, new information, or needs, but she doesn’t want to frighten the woman. This is the part of her that doesn’t want to make a move or insert herself in ways that would scare herself. She has kept it all together and multi-tasked in a way that has kept safe all these children/aspects/parts of herself. But she is opening the door from the inside-her inner world is pulling at her to experience different in her outer world.

Suddenly the woman and all the children are blonde. Blonde in dreams suggests a richness that wants to be experienced in life. Yellow/blonde on the Wisdom Wheels is about overcoming injustices, as well as overcoming the obstacles that stand in the way of loving ourselves in more fulfilling and expansive ways.

They are small (not babies) and beautiful children. It seems like there are more and more. I’m counting and counting. She is kind of teaching them but sitting next to me saying stuff like, “what word can you use for that”. Also including math. I ask if she home schools and then realize from her answer, that every child is home schooled now….we are in the midst of a pandemic.

There are beautiful parts of herself (the dreamer) she hasn’t fully experienced or embraced yet. As she opens her awareness to them, there are more and more parts of herself that want a voice, want to be seen, heard, loved, enjoyed, and learn more. Words have power of their own volition, so this ‘mothering’ part of herself asks her what words she would choose for her own liberation and education to recognize how amazing she is.

It is then she acknowledges she is in the middle of a pandemic….the outer world is mimicking her inner world–isolation and chaos at the same time.

I try to act as normal as possible as if I belong and there and there is nothing strange with me being here. I ask them some questions and engage a little with the children, holding the little ones and being sweet with them.
The children are multiplying…I’m confused and counting and counting.

She tries to maintain a status quo; it is safer that way, but she also realizes there is nothing strange about all these aspects of herself. Asking them questions and engaging with them is healthy and shows she is discovering her value and worth. Being sweet with the little ones, is being sweet with herself. The more she acknowledges these unacknowledged parts of herself, the more parts she sees that need to be addressed. It’s confusing how much of herself there is to acquaint herself with. That holds true for any of us when we are having expansive moments of self-awareness.

Then she is no longer sitting next to me but standing in front of us all smoking a joint, she offers me, and I turn it down. Then she hands it to someone and I’m thinking, WHAT! I thought she was miss healthy homeschooling mom! Turns out there are more parents in the room mostly sitting on the floor. They take a joint and share it. I feel the need to engage with children to distract them from this. I start talking and teaching them. I want them to know not all adults smoke, and want to say it’s bad, but don’t. I’m still the underdog here with police probably looking for me. Daniel is in the room and I am not sure if he smoked or not, normally he would not, but I’m not sure if he is joining them or not.
I get woken up by my dog.

Smoking a joint suggests this has all been too overwhelming and she needs to numb out, but she refuses, she doesn’t want to numb herself. She thinks WHAT!!! indicating she thought she had it all together in her waking life. And she did, but in ways that nurtured and cared for everyone and everything else.

The parents partaking are all the adult aspects of herself that she has used to appear healthy, in control and on top of things. This is said without criticism or judgement; it is what we all do to survive and make our outward life appear normal.

This is an important part of her dream. She doesn’t engage, she turns to the children, those rich, possibly untapped parts of herself she is discovering or uncovering. She is ready to turn from her own numbness and re-engage with her needs. She still feels like an underdog–undefended; possibly not understood; no longer wanting to be numb to her own needs and desires, will mean changes in her outer world. That takes courage.

Again, this sense of fearing her own inner authority-the police, and yet that is what she needs now. That part is ‘looking’ for her. She’s unclear of Daniel’s position. So as she becomes more self-aware of her own needs and voice, will Daniel understand? Will he want her to numb out to herself to stay in their union. Will stepping into her own authority create confrontations that will inspire changes for him too? There are no answers to that yet. And, if he represents the inner masculine within herself, will that part be there to protect and encourage her changes. There are no answers to that yet either.

But her dog wakes her up. In the First Nations teachings on animal totems, dogs stand for loyalty to the self. Will her loyalty to the Self awaken her to the needs of the self? There are no answers to that yet either.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

Dolphins at SEE

This dream centers around a specific animal, which is actually a marine mammal. An interesting aside I found out is that dolphins and whales are thought to share a common ancestor with the hippopotamus. All three are seen as animals that bring emotional revitalization. Probably because of their association with water, and water’s association with the element which promotes the clarity of emotional balance.

Fossils discovered in Pakistan over 40 years ago confirm the fact that dolphins transitioned from being land mammals to sea mammals probably due to a rapidly changing environment which necessitated adaptation to an aquatic lifestyle.

In this dream I see the dolphin as an animal totem for this dreamer. Animal totems are often seen as helpers, or a sacred spirit guides, that symbolically represent an aspect of one’s self, as well as a guardian who might have come into one’s dreams or real life environment, temporarily or for a longer period, to assist one through certain life situations.

My First Nations mentors taught me that dolphin’s are “Keepers of the Sacred Breath.” We can live without water or food, but we cannot live without breath. Breathing exercises help us to relax, re-center, and can revitalize us. Gram Twylah suggested that dolphin energy can also help us enter the dreamtime by using the rhythm of the breath.

THE DREAM:

I am with my mother and some other people. Something is bothering me and I go outside to swim. The water is more like liquid clay and is grayish bluish and white. As I stand in the water I noticed dolphins are swimming and I wonder if they will come near me.

One of the dolphins comes right up to me and looks me in the eye and a grab on to his fin and go for a ride. I am loving  swimming with the dolphins.

My mother comes out and begins to Yell at me to not swim with the dolphins because they are dangerous. I get out of the water and I tell my mother she doesn’t understand about dolphins. She walks away and when she does, I continue telling her that I have been on a trip to swim with dolphins before. She is not listening to me.

I look in the water and the second dolphin is waiting for me.

THE DECODING:

I am with my mother and some other people. Something is bothering me and I go outside to swim. The water is more like liquid clay and is grayish bluish and white. As I stand in the water I noticed dolphins are swimming and I wonder if they will come near me.

As I have said many times, everyone in the dream is who they are, representing the issues they have brought into your life (good, dense or indifferent), but also an aspect of the Self. In this case the dreamer is dealing with remembrances of her mother, as well as how she may or may not have learned how to nurture herself, based on that mothering relationship.

There are other unnamed people there, which I believe represent other aspects of herself, whose voices she hasn’t learned are there to help her. She is bothered by this lack of relationship with herself and how to nurture or mother herself in more positive ways. She goes outside for a swim. Swimming in dreams means trying to navigate emotions, and can also include the need to revitalize and renew one’s feelings about something.

Instead of clear water it is like liquid clay. Those emotions are hard to access or navigate, she may or may not have the confidence to give to herself what might not have been given to her as a child. Clay in dreams indicates difficulty. The difficulties center around the colors–gray, blue and white.

On the Wisdom wheels those colors have to do with a variety of truths which need to be faced. Gray has to do with assessing how one does not honor one’s self. Blue has to do with being in servitude to the past or an old story, and needing to learn how to release that story to better serve the self. And white, has to do with both creating appropriate boundaries as well as learning to release what nolonger serves (like childhood hurts and losses) and attract that which could (new ways of navigating one’s life with more joy).

While standing in those emotions, she sees a dolphin and wonders if it will approach her. Dolphins indicate joy, playfulness, movement and clarity but the also are symbols of resurrection, rebirth, intellect and fierce protection. This is the path she is trying to approach-playfulness without protection; spontaneous emotions not always navigated with intellect. That can be done externally with others for a time, but eventually needs to be embraced internally as the ultimate source that will bring balance and self-love.

One of the dolphins comes right up to me and looks me in the eye and I grab on to his fin and go for a ride. I am loving  swimming with the dolphins.

Eyes can appear in many ways in the dreamtime, and signify many things. When something looks you straight in the eye, it is purposefully trying to get your attention. Likewise, eyes are the ‘windows to the soul’, so this spirit guide is making a soul connection to impart its wisdom.

The dreamer is ready to take in that lesson as she grabs the dolphin’s fin and goes for a ride. I would ask the dreamer if the water content changed? Was this just a ride for fun, or a ride to learn to embrace something that is needed to recognize a more fully actualized self? She admits she enjoys swimming with the dolphin, but is she addressing the deeper issues of self-nurturance or just a momentary release from how those emotions impact? That would bring more information as a decoder in assisting the dreamer.

My mother comes out and begins to Yell at me to not swim with the dolphins because they are dangerous. I get out of the water and I tell my mother she doesn’t understand about dolphins. She walks away and when she does, I continue telling her that I have been on a trip to swim with dolphins before. She is not listening to me.

Now the issue comes back. Mother yelling (the dreamer’s capitalization), showing that relationship was possibly contentious and not nurturing. It could also denote the fear and/or dangerous feelings experienced as a child. The dreamer steps back from the emotions (both her own as child, and her current as adult), and argues that there is still a need to understand emotional flow, joy, buoyancy, and natural playfulness while still feeling protected.

The image of Mother walking away is a clear indication that mother didn’t listen to the dreamer as a child or instill a sense of safety. That said, the dreamer has been with dolphins before showing that as an adult she is trying to self care in ways that bring her what she didn’t receive when young. She in the “mother now” and she has to learn to uplift her “inner child” now. Is she listening to what her inner child needs of her?

I look in the water and the second dolphin is waiting for me.

This is a great part to the dream. It shows me the dreamer is willing to try again, no matter what it takes. The joy and love and clarity and rebirth that dolphin represents, is always there waiting for her to partake and learn more fully about herself and her needs. It shows her stamina and desire for self-growth.

Thank you dreamer for sharing your dream.

This Was Scary

This particular dreamer didn’t actually name the dream this title, but expressed when sent, that it was scary. I had hoped to have this out for Hallowmas/Samhain last night because it was so charged energetically and astrologically, but Alas!! gremlins in my machine, LOL.

To recap Samhain is a time to thank and forgive the ancestors and those who have passed. It was a full moon, blue moon as it was also the second full moon in a month, so it was reflecting and accentuating that energy. We also had Uranus (unexpected reveals & shake ups) in a tight conjunction with the full moon. And, Mars & Mercury are retrograde. Today is All Souls’ Day. Lots to unpack energetically (not to mention the election, no matter which side you are on, it will be epic).

My sense is our ancestors or those that have crossed, are really trying to help us now, as the veil is the thinnest between the dimensions. This dreamer was visited by someone who has crossed, and that’s why I chose this dream.

The Dream:

I parked my car at a gas/convenience store and was walking around a downtown area. It had a ‘weekend’ feel to it. Every time I went back in my car, I felt like someone had ‘done something’ to it or been in it.  At one point I was at a yard sale and wanted a shelf that had a doll on it. The woman told me to just take the shelf – don’t pay her. Someone took the doll off the shelf and there were some younger girls there too just watching all of this.  

When I got back to the gas station/convenience store, I was walking around the parking lot talking on my phone to Stella (who has passed). When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

I feel like I was home later and in the driver’s seat and a large, angry man, with a round face and jowls came at me and the car. I don’t know if he said it, or I just read his mind – saying ‘I’m going to kill you!’  Stella (who, again, is not on this earth and I didn’t even realize was in the car) screamed ‘No!’ as the man’s fist landed on my roof and dented it in, and he then hit the driver’s door. I woke up. 

The Decoding:

I parked my car at a gas/convenience store and was walking around a downtown area. It had a ‘weekend’ feel to it. Every time I went back in my car, I felt like someone had ‘done something’ to it or been in it. 

A car often suggests the physical body, as our body’s are a vehicle to help move us forward. The dreamer needs to be refueled and have things come easier or be more convenient, hence the gas station and convenience store. It has a ‘weekend feel’ to it, hinting that life might be a bit stressful right now, or perhaps the physical body needs more movement to feel at ease.

The dreamer feels that every time they need to address the physical body, or perhaps physical body issues, it either requires outside intervention to feel more comfortable with the Self, or perhaps, three people from the past who have not treated the dreamer’s body well or with respect. Something has been done or suggested, to give the dreamer a poor sense of Self.

At one point I was at a yard sale and wanted a shelf that had a doll on it. The woman told me to just take the shelf – don’t pay her. Someone took the doll off the shelf and there were some younger girls there too just watching all of this. 

Yard sales in dreams can be about recycling past experiences, which would support either the dreamer, or someone from the dreamer’s past, did not treating the body well. Or potentially the dreamer continues to demean their own body, through false beliefs arrived at in the past.

Looking for a shelf might be the dreamer trying to delay addressing bodily issues felt, or perhaps setting a course towards understanding that the body needs adjustments, but has put that knowing aside to deal with at a future time. It is the denial of taking the situation into one’s own control and removing the issues felt or believed. It is suggested to her by the woman to just take the shelf and don’t pay, but when we deny the needs of the physical body we pay in other ways down-the-line.

There is a doll on the shelf, dolls are lifeless. It is on the shelf meaning a part of this dreamer has never accessed true life source energy nor potentially felt joy in the physical body. Dolls also take us back to childhood; the dreamer again is being taken back in time. It could be the bodily impressions were set in childhood, either from a lack of support or harm done to.

There are young girls there just watching. I guess my question is how many young girls are left feeling their body is not a sacred vehicle for joy and life as they had once dreamt it would be; or how many other young girls are rendered ‘lifeless in their dreams’ with no support? How many have body dysmorphia? This is one of the most important clues for the dreamer to look into deeper.

When I got back to the gas station/convenience store, I was walking around the parking lot talking on my phone to Stella (who has passed). When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

When the dreamer gets back to a place where they can refuel (a time in life created), they still do not own the body (not in the car), merely walking around the parking lot. This implies they are still not clear who to turn to for support. In this case the dreamer is reaching out for help – on the phone is seeking communication or assistance.

We are told Stella has passed on. Stella means star. Taken one step further, Stella, is also the named called out famously in the film, A Street Car Named Desire. The dead are beyond the veil; the stars are above our head’s in the darkest of night representing light and hope; Marlon Brando yelling the name Stella in the film, is yelling for tranquility and peace as Stella represents calm to Blanche’s hysteria.

Question: What are you crying out for, hoping for, wanting to be lit up in your life, that you are not going after? The car is stationary, and the shelf has parked your dreams.

When I went to get in the car, the driver’s door was open, and all the windows were down 1/2 way and it was raining lightly. I went into the store and they were going to check the security tapes, and I think they said ‘a man’ did this. 

As we move through the dream, [although the dreamer still hasn’t occupied the car/physical bodily actions], we see now that the driver’s door (where one would sit to move the car forward), and the windows are partially open. Consciousness is opening the dreamer to the fact that they are the only one who can take control. It’s raining slightly, meaning this is emotional, but won’t necessarily be overwhelming to address at this age and stage.

The dreamer asks for someone at the store to check the security tapes. The dreamer still wants to feel secure to approach this information or past memories that may have been shelved for a long while. The store (signifying where memories are stored), say ‘a man did this’. So the question becomes whether physical, emotional, or mentally packed away….whose voice or actions or lack of support impacted the dreamer’s abilities to move forward in life with light, hope, calm and feeling safe in the body ?

I feel like I was home later and in the driver’s seat and a large, angry man, with a round face and jowls came at me and the car. I don’t know if he said it, or I just read his mind – saying ‘I’m going to kill you!’  Stella (who, again, is not on this earth and I didn’t even realize was in the car) screamed ‘No!’ as the man’s fist landed on my roof and dented it in, and he then hit the driver’s door. I woke up. 

The dreamer is now home, and in the driver’s seat, indicating they are ready to take action for them self and that they feel safe to do so. They still need to deal with the “boogie” man, this angry person who represents someone who has felt threatening in some capacity in the past to this dreamer’s vision of Self. The “scary part” of the dream is now upon the dreamer. If the dreamer confronts this past fear and/or lack of bodily worth, will the false beliefs held in the mind about the Self need to die? What will replace that? What will that mean to reformate a whole new vision of one’s self?

This voice from the past (the part of the dreamer that is actually ‘stellar’), reflects back to the dreamer the light and peace now needed to move forward fully embodied. The dreamer never even knew that was ‘within’ all along. It screams NO. In other words, the dreamer is ready to say no to any past influences that have impacted a stronger sense of Self and worth. With caution and respect to whatever happened in the past to this dreamer, we now see the impact….as either there was physical violence, physical demeaning, or a physical threat that was scary. But that is not occurring now. The dream is showing this is a new opportunity to have a healthier vision of Self.

Time to change Scared to Sacred. Thank you dreamer for sharing your dream.