Madre Ayahuasca

I have just returned from Peru (a land I simply love after 30 years of re-visiting and studying), and thought I had better write the next dream blog before I set off again taking another group within a week’s time to Damanhur, Italy.

I chose the dream below, in part because I find Mother Ayahuasca a very strong and disciplined teacher, and in part because I know what these ceremonies can bring to the surface. Mother Ayahuasca IS the master arbitrator and decides what will be revealed to you, and what is necessary and timely for your growth.

This person had a dream after returning home from a large Ayahuasca ceremony she had attended in Florida. She states that the Peruvian ayahuascaro, a person who has studied the tradition in the Amazon jungle and learned the icaros (the sacred songs used to modulate the energy of the group within the ceremony), had a couple of assistants to help hold the energy, and a translator named Alberto* from Costa Rica** who was unusual looking, androgynous, but incredibly eloquent. (Watch out for silver tongues.)

She reflected that she was a bit disappointed in the ceremony because there were too many people in attendance and she couldn’t relax. Sleeping was bunk style and she was on the top bunk, and found the up and down annoying. She had the dream the next night when she was at home.

*Alberto means noble and bright, but because it comes from old German, with the Latin form, it also implies someone who is romanticized. Keep this in mind when realizing he was the ‘translator.’ Someone who translates, gives their version, through their lens.

**Costa Rica’s loose unofficial motto is “Pura Vida” which translates as ‘pure life.’ So the translator is suggesting that the ‘dreamer’ become their own arbitrator of ‘pure life’ and what that means for them.

The dream:

There was a little white mouse in a cage, all filled with bedding and wood shavings. It looked like it was stuck and couldn’t move, just its little head was poking out. I reached in to help it free itself an when I did I found that the reason it was trapped was that it had an enormous tumor-many times the size of the mouse-which was buried under the mouse at the bottom of the cage, which had the little mouse immobilized. I scooped my hands under the tumor to lift the mouse out.

In the Seneca tradition white on the Medicine wheel stands for boundaries, as well as magnetism and sharing. Magnetism in this regard is seen as the ability to call to one’s self the people, places and things that help you to grow, and at the same time, to release from your life the people, places and things that no longer support your growth. Mouse is seen as holding a ‘degree of bravery.’ They are adaptable, inventive, curious, and strive for security for themselves and their family. Because they scrutinize everything, when they appear, in a dream or meditation, their message is about “looking at what’s right in front of your eyes”…to scrutinize everything carefully and look for traps that might ensnare you. In the case of this dream, I would share with the dreamer, that the situation with the medicine plant was that it was cautioning her to draw boundaries with one, or some of the people or teachers/translators that were at the ceremony, lest she magnetize to herself energy that was counter to her personal growth and comfort. To scrutinize what she felt about her surroundings/ceremony,  and to feel comfortable to bravely see the ‘big picture’ beyond the ritual. In this case the mouse was part of her dreaming self.

The mouse was trapped in a cage. You were limited. My questions would be, did you feel trapped; or were your surroundings or the situation you were in, influenced by the group energy possibly trapping you to believe something about the medicine or the capabilities of the ayahuascaro? Or perhaps not realize something of the power within yourself. I ask this because the ‘shavings’ the comfort of having someone who was providing adequate space to have the ceremony, in fact hid a huge tumor.  Tumors in dreams can suggest something you are hiding from yourself or are choosing to ignore or deny. It can represent something that is “eating at you.” What was eating at you about this ceremony? It appears you were immobilized to extract yourself from something that was not serving your highest good. But the mouse’s  head was poking out-some part of you intellectually knew this was not for you.

You scooped your hands under the tumor to get the mouse out. Mother Ayahuasca helped, even if you were not consciously aware of it, to get underneath the situation to help you (through the dreamtime) to at least begin to look at, or consider what was ‘eating at you.’ Dreaming of hands is often a sign of self-awareness; so some part of you was conscious of the fact that this wasn’t possibly the best of rituals for you to be involved with (no judgement or criticism here).

Next thing I remember is putting the mouse in an aquarium-type container that had some form of orangish-red sponge foam bits in it, though they seemed as well gelatinous as well as spongy.

You are bringing awareness forward-the aquarium being an object that is glass and therefore transparent. Orange and red on the Medicine Wheel, represent learning what you need to do to organize your thoughts or actions for change, and the red means trusting yourself to be able to have the faith to present your truth about a situation. But it is spongy, which means it is not solidly held within your consciousness yet.

When I put the mouse in, and feeling quite satisfied at having freed it, I looked back to see the weight of the mouse and its tumor, it had sunk down under the spongey stuff and the mouse’s head was under water.

This would suggest to me that part of you realized what was going on (consciously or not), and was accurate in your assessment of the level or limitations of the ayahuascaro (or at least the ceremony), but that emotionally (the water) you gave your intellect (the head) over to him/or the translator as knowing better than you, (getting dragged down by the tumor)….the spongey stuff (suggesting you were easily absorbed or receptive to the information you were being shown), and highlighting the need to independently find your own path, without relying on others influences or the fact that they know better than you.

He didn’t look panicked or anything, he looked like maybe he was holding his breath, or perhaps trying to breathe in the water. I reached my hand in and lifted his head above the water, for which he was grateful and started to breathe again. 

This tells me, that although the experience wasn’t what you were hoping for, or had anticipated, that you didn’t panic, you tried to flow with the emotions it brought up. But by your own admission in the very beginning of setting up the dream, you also stated that you didn’t allow yourself to go as deeply as you might have allowed yourself to go, due to the stress of not only too many people, but too tight a space for that much energy circulating. In that sense, you kept “your head above water” and breathed through the experience. Although you might have been annoyed, you were not taken down by the ritual. This shows that you have a good sense of your personal boundaries and how to protect yourself even in situations that are “eating at you.” 

A little later I looked over and saw that the mouse’s head had detached from his body and was floating around on the top of the water, separate from his body and his tumor. I covered my face with my hands, and spun around saying, “Oh no, how did that happen?” feeling like I had had some part of his demise. Next time I looked at him, the mouse’s head had regenerated a new body-he was alive and was tumor-free and perfect. 

Counter to you believing in the dream that you were part of ‘his’ demise, you were actually part of your own perceptual healing. Separating your intellect from the emotions of the tumor. The head was floating on the water, showing that you need to unite head & heart, to regenerate yourself (tumor free), and then you will feel both freedom, and that what you have to share is perfect for where you find yourself. Thus not romanticizing or denying the capacity of your bright and noble self, as you find the purity within your own life. I might suggest that this was the message of Mother Ayahuasca.





Dying to the Past

This dream is fraught with images of letting go of the past, the need to move on, and the Higher Self trying to impart wisdom that we don’t have to be, or continue to drag our past with us. There must be a point where we put down our burden basket and know, truly, that we have done our best and our best is good enough.

 We each have the potential, albeit it hard sometimes, to create better or different for ourselves. I am including part of this dreamers ‘awake’ situation, because it further identifies where her dream is trying to make her realize where her psyche has absorbed the roll of judged, judge and jury.  

Hi Sandy, The dream I had last night is very confusing but I will try my best to describe as it may have a powerful meaning.

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street . She looked angry and upset with me.

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing . She was driving and he was on the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back with my mom. When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird.

After that, Michele and I sat down waiting to be called. There was food on a table for those who wanted to snack on something. After waiting there for a bit, the woman who was staring at me the night before through the window, walked in the room, dressed as a judge. I then turned around and told Michele “She is the judge”!

The end!

If this were my dream…..

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

Dreams of killing someone is often a repressed need to release yourself from something or someone. A lounge signifies someplace where you need to go to rest and regroup, yet when you get there someone has died and you are holding the bloody knife. I think this implies that there is some part of yourself that needs to die to your past, and be released so you can regroup or renew. Blood is our life source energy, and a knife symbolizes something needs to be cut out that is diminishing our life source.

Someone else (another part of your psyche or consciousness), is giving you the knife to bring into your awareness what needs to be let go, because you are possibly not dealing with it. It feels like a ‘set up’ and it is from your Higher Self. You’re exiting your stall (bathroom I am assuming, where we go to ‘release’…and a photographer catches you. You inner ‘recorder of your own personal history’ is making sure you have this on record.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street. She looked angry and upset with me.

Windows often signify ‘doorways to the soul.’ It is large and wide, asking you to change your perspective. The brunette haired woman is looking at you. Woman usually represent the feminine qualities of nurturing and intuition, brown on the Medicine Wheel represents reorganizing what you know, and appraising where you need to change your concretized thoughts. This inner aspect of yourself, the one who wants you to feel nurtured and reorganize the truth of who you are, despite ‘the story’ you have lived thus far, is upset with you. 

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. You are ignoring where you need to nurture yourself more by releasing something of your past that no longer serves you. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. May I kindly suggest you might be holding yourself in jail by not changing something that you already know needs to shift. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing. I mention further down what Michelle and Fabiano mean, but it bears repeating here: Michelle means ‘gift from God’, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’, and mom is (or should be) our first and most primary nurture. So you need to listen to the ‘God’ in yourself, to plant new seeds that will nurture yourself.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing. The God within you is flirting with the new seeds you need to plant towards your future. She was driving (the God within each of us should always be the one driving our life, but we often allow the hurts, the fears, and the past to drive us, this is a good sign.) and he was on the passenger seat (yes, our new seeds are the passengers until we plant them, they are the un-manifested parts of ourselves.) I was sitting in the back with my mom. (Somehow you have taken a back seat to your own wants and needs, and mom sitting there is a reminder to nurture those pieces. You are not ‘driving’ your own life in a joyous, fulfilling way-not a criticism, merely something to look at.) When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. (This signifies (the ID) defining who you are and who you want to be seen as.) She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird. (Maybe because your ID, your true self, is presenting differently than your persona? She can see the real you, can you?)

Further info: Michelle – is friend who I opened up to about my life last Friday after I had an epiphany. I was working on a project for herb class and for a whole month I drank Linden tea; I honestly believe that tea made me feel more grounded, and even more sensitive to what I have been through these past 16 years in this country. She listened to me while I cried non stop at a bar 2 Friday’s back (#2 on the Medicine Wheel represents honoring yourself and bars represent social scenes, but places that we can go astray if we linger too long, or imbibe too much). I felt horrible because we were supposed to be there to have fun and I cried for half of the night, when telling her all I went through since I moved to the US. (Suffering is only good for the soul, if it teaches the soul how to not suffer again. It is not supposed to be a life long punishment. It is a challenge for us to grow, and one we choose to experience for said growth, if I might be so bold to add.) I had never told anyone in details all of that and I have no idea ( maybe the linden?) what prompted me to do that.

Michelle as a name means ‘gift from God’ and is a derivative of Michael.

I am struck that you have been using Linden tea. A few words about the Linden Tree, that you may or may not be aware of that might bring you further ‘epiphanies’ about this dream and your life in general.

  • Linden is good for colds, infections, and mucous-what needs to be released from within
  • It is used to calm anxiety and its scent is said to uplift
  • It was a sacred tree in Germany, Slovenia, where it was seen as a holy tree to repel bad luck and bring joy. And within the Iroquois nation,  it what used in their  tribal False Face Society. The False Face Society represented the spirits that influenced people. Someone who dreamed they were a member, and had it confirmed by another member, had to make a mask from the bark of the Linden without killing the tree. They taught others through wearing these masks how to heal the inner spirit and absorb the joy of life and nature which is endlessly all around us. 

Or maybe the bartender who worked with me 10 years ago at the Cheesecake Factory restaurant and was working, coincidently, at this bar we went to in Boston? The funny thing is that I recognized his face! I looked at him and said : I know you from somewhere. (He did not remember me) Have you worked at the Cheesecake Factory? He said, YES! Once I told him I had worked there as a hostess he remembered me.

Interesting your memory is so strong. My suggestion is this can work for and against you. He did not remember you. You remembered him. That’s an interesting balance that we all need to be aware of in ourselves. Maybe it is time to lay aside some of the memories of your past so you can let go, forgive yourself for how you chose to learn your lessons, and move on to what the evening was supposed to exemplify-happier times.

Fabiano – my brother who just moved back to the US from Hong Kong.

Your brothers long move, might be another reflection of your own need to move on, move forward, or move beyond your personal ‘burden basket.’ Said with much compassion, because I am aware that moving to another country with all that implies: good, bad and indifferent, takes a lot of courage. Ironically, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’ and the soil needs to be tilled, fertilized, and new seeds planted for the bean to grow, plus the bean stalk grows high, reaching for the heavens or consciousness.  Plant new thoughts, and take a higher perspective of your life. Look carefully at all you have been through, what has helped you and what has not….and then find the worth in it, and you🙂


When Lightening Strikes

Hello Dreamers,

I just returned from teaching in London at the Shamanic Lands conference with many a wonderful teacher, who I was very honored to share both teaching/speaking space with. My input was to lead the conference participants into the dreamtime on the first night, and then assist them to decode their dreams in an open forum, the second morning of the conference. On Monday I taught a sold out workshop using indigenous techniques to teach the group how to consider alternatives to decode the dreamtime.

One of the things I mentioned at the event, is that in the tradition of some of the indigenous Peoples with whom I have worked work, if you were struck by lightening and lived, you were automatically seen to have shamanic skills that were to be shared with the community. Essentially shamanic skills meant to open your perceptions, and also to learn what the soul needs to continue to grow in consciousness. And, when we dream of something, say a snake bite, in some traditions you were literally treated the next morning in your waking state for the snake bite. In other words the dream state will manifest the waking state you experience in some capacity. I offer these two observations due to the dream below.

Hi Sandy,

I do have a dream. I feel some of it is obvious but I still have a feeling I am missing something. I included my dream here, but if there is another place to post it please let me know.

It is night time and I am in a dark room laying in bed with my youngest son, who in my dream is a baby.

I would suggest this dream was taking you back in time to process some feelings or events, that you may not have been able to process fully as regards your past. I do not know the name of your son, but in session I would ask that. You state, “I am in the dark,” possibly referring to a time in your past that felt dark, maybe foreboding, or at least confusing. Besides the fact that your son was a baby and needed you, and because everything in the dream is also an aspect of ourselves, it could suggest that you were more naïve, or perhaps needed someone’s help to take care of a situation, in which you were not feeling nurtured or protected.

The bed is made so that our heads are at the end of the bed where I normally would have my feet, and not against the wall. Open and unprotected. I think there are more beds with my other children in the room too.

The place where you try to get some peace of mind (metaphorically the bed), is ‘topsy turvey.’ Something in your world has been turned upside down, and you are feeling unprotected (no wall to lean into as a boundary), and unsure how to protect your other children (“my other children were in the room”). Again, because everything in the dream is an aspect of self, it can also allude to the fact that that your ‘inner pantheon of helpers’, to which you turn to for clarity, didn’t offer you any answers as to what you should do either.

We are close to a window and there is thunder and lightening outside, and I am a little concerned about being struck, as I have been struck by lightening before. I move my son a little further away from the window.

Have you literally been struck in the waking world by lightening; or are you referring to knowing in the dream time that you have been struck before. I would give a bit of a different spin, depending on your answer. However, you are close to a window. Windows can suggest a view into the soul’s needs, a way out of a confined space, or changing your perceptions of a situation as you look at it a different way. You are afraid to be struck by lightening. Lightening in dreams can suggest a shock; something scorching that you didn’t anticipate; forces outside your control. It can also indicate that you suddenly have a knowing; something within you ‘lights up,’ and you understand what you need to do. Thunder is a sound, a loud sound from the heavens to be aware, to listen to your needs, to wake up to something from the outside, interfering and affecting something in your inner world. In one Native prayer, one part says, “We welcome the Thunder Beings, who bring the rains that cleanse and that heal.” So I could also suggest that whatever was being ‘shook up’ in your inner world, was occurring for a deeper healing.

I end up leaving the room with a friend, Dawn, and another women that I don’t know. We are going down some stairs and out a door and once outside I realize I can’t relax I keep seeing how the lightening is going to strike my son in the head thru the window. I have to go back to my little boy.

Interesting word play. You leave with your friend ‘Dawn.’ At dawn there is the potential for a new beginning, a new day coming, but it means you need to leave the house, possibly leave your home, or the place you have always called home.  There is much you still need to do to secure as sense of protection and peace of mind although you now know what direction you now need to go in.

I run back in and take him out of the bed and move to other part of room far away from the window. I see the lightening as it hits the window. It almost strikes my boy and it lights up part of the room. There is no sound just a small miniature like beam of lightening.

Although you are aware of this, you still have to bide your time for a bit, and go back inside (stay at the locale) to rescue both your children, and the parts of yourself (the life you were leading then) that have needed protection and now must choose to seek a new beginning elsewhere.

You try and move to a far away place to find comfort and safety, but you know in the process that there will still be repercussions (the lightening hits the window). It almost strikes your boy-possibly some or all of you children are affected by this decision you have to make, but “it lights up the room.” You KNOW what you need to do. The small miniature beam of lightening might suggest that the path will not be as obvious as you might want it to be initially, or as concretized as you need it to be to feel total safety, but there will be a beam that guides you forward and directs you. 

Throughout the whole dream I am filled with strong emotions. I was feeling love, anxiety, fear and had a sense of knowing that I at first was trying to deny but eventually choose to listen to.

I would suggest that this involved the choice you had to make way back when, that there was fear and anxiety, but also love and a knowing for yourself and those you cared for, that you couldn’t deny.

If you had brought this into session, I might also ask, what in your current life is mirroring or mimicking the upheaval that you felt in your past. What are you sensing you might need to leave behind? What ah ha moments (lightening) might you be experiencing where you may be accepting or diminishing your own light? This might not apply at all, possibly you were just processing the old….but we go in cycles, so dreaming of something from our past circumstances, might also be trying to bring light to a current situation in the now.

Thank you for sharing.

Dreams with Dreams

Cobb: “You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream and fill it with their subconscious.”

Ariadne: “How can I ever acquire enough detail to make them think it is a reality?”

Cobb: “Well dreams they feel real while we’re in them right? It’s only when we wake up that we realize that something was actually strange.”                                                               (From the movie Inception, a great movie about the dreamtime if you have never watched it.)

Hello Dreamers,

In typical fashion another month of travel and teaching is coming to an end with no blog post. It appears (although the ‘blog maesters’ say to do two a month), that I am destined to currently only squeak in one a month, and I need not to fret and just be grateful for that.

So today’s dream decoding is from someone I know. You will see somethings referenced specifically to what I know she was going through. Specific names she used will be obscured for anonymity.  These are typical of the dream sessions I have with clients, using their dreams to decode and bring clarity, to what they are balancing or trying to deal with in a life situation.

Her dream was a series of dreams within dreams. These types of dreams are an interesting way for your subconscious to change both time and context to get your attention. They can be disconcerting because you often think you have woken up, only to find yourself in another dream segue being bombarded by similar information or symbols. It not only is meant to stretched the dreamers original thoughts on something, but from another view point it might be a diversion to mirror the way one is diverting themselves from looking at something in their waking life. So is this a matter of gaining perception/perspective on a vital issue you must confront and not ignore; or are you compartmentalizing something instead of giving it your full attention? Sometimes these types of dreams can seem so real, that when you add a component of fear, the dreamer awakes very confused, disoriented, and often in a panic.

The dream:

Hello my dear Sandy! I hope you are well and your day is going smoothly so far. I really appreciate you squeezing me into your busy day but this one really knocked me on my ass. When your higher self is trying to get your attention, it sends nightmares or scary segues of a dream to “wake you up.” It’s not that something bad will happen, it’s just that your dreamscape is trying to caution you about something in your outer world that you are either not paying attention to, or perhaps need to awaken to.

So from what I can piece together is that I was trapped by some evil force in a perpetual dream state. Gram Twylah used to call these a ‘dream within a dream’. They often seem so repetitive and out of our control, that they grab our attention to follow a theme. So what in your current life are you not paying attention to. Not because you are unconscious or unaware, but simply because you have too much going on and no time to center yourself? Well the wedding would do that. Not that you are not supposed to get married, but possibly you are supposed to be slowing things down so you can “smell the roses.” It’s over way too fast and the pomp and circumstance leading up to it can often pull us off center. So breath, work out, do yoga, take a walk, maybe meditate; your Higher self is trying to slow your waking self, down a bit.

I am forced there as some form of torture, but I don’t know for what crime I was being punished. When we realize we don’t “know something in the dream” it’s because we are not listening to ourselves, and that is “the crime.” And it becomes torturous to repeat patterns that don’t serve us, because they keep us in a perpetual state of looking our instead of looking in.
At one point I was on a train, literally on top. Trains in dreams suggest that we are on “the right track,” that we are moving forward. Being on top of the train, indicates you are trying to stay on-top of things as they all move around you. Jung also suggested ‘train dreams’ often meant that the dreamer is not finding their own way forward in some aspect of their current life and/or possibly has chosen a conforming route for the sake of others. He also suggested that sometimes motion dreams sometimes could be a disguise for wish fulfillments around sexual needs. So my question to you, in bringing this into session would be: Are you feeling that some part of your wedding is out of your hands/control and that you are trying to please everyone else with some of the choices and decisions? And in this build up to the wedding, have you and (XXXX) continued to take time for just the two of you, to insure that what brought you to this place to begin with, is still being nurtured. Maybe it has been hard to just get some peaceful intimate times alone with everything going on?

and I asked someone I knew for help (I don’t remember who exactly it was, but I remember feeling like I could ask this person for help to get me out) There are people who can help you, but you have to ask… but also know who is not who they appeared to be; in other words be discerning about who you ask. As one or two may have other motives beyond what you are asking for; not everyone who claims they are there to help may well have other motives for their own means. If this were my dream, I would look to family. Who is authentically there for me, and who is not. I know your family has a lot of power plays amongst themselves, and you may be tricked into thinking they are offering something out of their love for you, where instead it is a play for power over. Think uncle, grandmother, maybe even how you are tricking yourself, etc. but a creation of my captors tricked me into thinking I was able to find a way out. There is always a way out when we don’t conform to well, conformity🙂
I was tricked into multiple “waking” scenarios, There are multiple things going on in your life, where again (no judgement) your wedding might be being used as a power play amongst other family members. Make it your own, be true to yourself & (XXX), and turn to your mom, she is there for you. You will have multiple cues and clues so that you don’t stay entrapped in a dynamic that serves no one.

where I was tricked into thinking that I was awake but I was still trapped. I kept trying to fight my way out and eventually started striking out in any way I could. I knew that I was dreaming and for some reason I thought if there was pain it would knock me out of itThis is the dream self, the subconscious trying to bring all this to the surface for your consideration. Pain, like a bad dream is merely to bring our attention to something that needs healing, or possibly for us to stop and consider the way you are going about it. What pain are you in with this new way of life? Who are you striking out at? Why do you welcome pain as a way out?
Here’s where the fun starts
Eventually I was in a place where I had one heavy restraint on each wrist, holding me down, Restraints on our wrists is someone trying to over-power us or gain dominion over us. They are also on lung/heart lines in acupuncture and denote you need to breath, relax, and stay centered in your heart and I started flipping rolling to the left and right from side to side, striking at whatever I thought was holding me down. This is your fear that no matter which way you turn, you might disappoint someone, so you take the pain on yourself, to no avail and don’t make the decision you need for yourself.
Eventually I realized that the thing in my right hand was a baby’s forearm. The right hand is about taking our power with grace, a baby’s forearm could mean that since you were a baby, the family has fought over you. but it was soft and pliable, like a plastic doll’s arm (cabbage patch size). And maybe even though you have been aware of this fact, for your own reasons you have been soft and pliable to their power plays? [side bar, in this scenario it does not mean you are pregnant, nor that you would be mean to your baby….this is being done to you.]
Once I realized that I was indeed beating a baby in order to free myself, and felt the horror of what I was doing, that’s when I woke up, gasping for breath. One possibility is that you have been beating yourself up since you were little about keeping everyone in the family happy. Now you need to make some calls on your own and take a stand for yourself. You are also astrologically just coming out of your Saturn return and getting married. You are no longer a child after this transit, you now step into adulthood with all your own wants and needs. And although you will always be someone’s daughter, grand-daughter, niece, etc. You are now your own adult, and your dreaming self wants you to stop beating up on yourself.

Of course when I woke up in my own bed, I thought I was still in the dream world, and I was terrified that I would never be able to tell the difference again. You were coming out of a hypnogogic dream stage…..and my teachers have always asked, which is more real, the dreamstate or the waking state?🙂 something to ponder. Who is directing whom? In the dream body we have a much vaster sense of self and options that we don’t take in waking life can be considered in our dream state, because we are not bound by time or space.
I called out for (XXXX), who was sleeping on the couch. He came in, and held me as I started to catch my breath, and then I began to sob uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. That is a somatic-emotional release, and all very normal for the ‘fear and flight’ response of the reptilian part of the brain. Horrified at what I had done and terrified that I was still trapped. Look to where you might be feeling trapped or something seems out of your control, in your waking state.

(XXXX) kept telling me that it was okay and it was a dream. Once I was able to get my breath I was able to tell him that I actually thought that any minute he could turn away, turn back and have some demon face. Eventually I was able to calm down enough to stop crying, but I still couldn’t sleep for almost an hour. Thinking he would mirror a demon face back to you, I would have to ask where you ignore your own inner demons. We often project that onto our partners, and that is a slippery slope.

Here’s what I think I have so far. Starting a new chapter of my life which includes marriage, I think I’m feeling the fear that once I’m married a huge amount of my independence will be gone, and I won’t enjoy the liberties I do now, which is certainly not true. But that’s what I think I got out of that. Counter-intuitively, I think you will be more independent, and the captain of your own ship. As a couple you two will make your own decisions, not the family, which you need to complete this wedding….and grateful you have another captain on board (XXXX), who will help steer it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. You both just have to remember that if only one steers the ship, we get tired (of our self, each other, and life), so sharing, honest communication, love & self-love, forgiveness when one’s been at the helm too long, and finding that integration point again, is what it is all about.🙂
I look forward to talking to you tonight! If you have more questions after this, feel free to ask….and have a blessed wedding.


My Dream/s

I will be decoding 2 dreams today, one for the time lost in April, and the second to celebrate the first day of May.

First Dream:

So had a dream this morning before I woke …. I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around. We were outside talking at one point and then I am alone. I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color. I thought: This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

Suggestions: I will be making suggestions simply from emotional impact

I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around.

This suggests that you are trying to learn something, or feel you haven’t learned something well enough. Institutional would suggest a rigid form of needing to learn, or having learned something.  The fact that it was open, with others around, may suggest you are open to learning new concepts around an old rigid form, or experience. 

I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color.

You look up-you are willing to look at this situation from a higher perspective. There is a chair with a parachute and the color is green. The chair recommends that you sit down and contemplate a situation, and the parachute indicates that you are ready to bail from how you are currently thinking about something. If this rigid thinking around an area in your life is holding you back, the parachute also suggests that you will land safely, should you confront this belief within yourself. It is green in color. This can imply a couple of things. This belief you have might have been ingrained in childhood; or you need to use right will, not willfulness, to deconstruct this old out-worn pattern, to enable you to construct a new, more fruitful way of looking at and experiencing your life. 

This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me🙂

This in may ways is a second reminder that rigidity will not serve. Jeeps generally indicate that you need to take more action, move your body more, have more fun and be able to cover many ‘terrains’ to do that. However, this is an army jeep, and the army signifies rules, rigidity, and a discipline that can diminish fun. Question: Where in your life are you too rigid with yourself, or perhaps do not move outside your self-imposed confines or definitions, essentially making you keep repeating what you wish to change? I ask because you are being too ‘passive’ about  looking at where you can change what you don’t like about your life situation.

Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

Now your dream (your subconscious) has your attention. As if to underscore the situation, the dream starts to hurl many jeeps and parts into your dreamscape. The jeeps and all the parts represent that which can assist you to find the answers you seek, when you break down the rigidity you use to stay passive to your situation by not taking action to bring change. You are not threatened because all the changes are in your own hands. But what will you do to promote the changes you seek?

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

There is no sound. You are not listening to yourself. All visual. You see what it is you need to change, but are you? There is no blowing up or crashing. This doesn’t have to be difficult or painful. And you had the exact dream a few weeks back. Your subconscious is trying to motivate you to take action and move forward, while this is still under yours own volition and control. 


Second Dream: I will be making suggestions simply from the symbology

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything. I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside. I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back. I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything.

I would suggest that you feel you have missed out on something in your life, and it has to do with trust, and the ability to speak out about your needs. When you try and apply what you know to make changes or move forward, you don’t recognize what you need to do to resolve the confusion that brings up for you. I assume you are talking about a train here. Trains have to do with conformity, and conformity often has to do with adhering to what others say and think. However trains are also about moving forward (and sometimes backwards), as they have the ability to do both.

I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seen to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside.

You try and go deep into your past or your psyche, working on yourself to see if you can find the way to change what you feel within, but you can’t seem to find a way inside yourself to get the information, or the self-trust you seek. So you attempt to go ‘outside yourself’ to try and find the answers to what you are feeling inside yourself.

I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back.

You ask the under-developed ‘protective’ side of yourself (the young boys) where you are at. They tell you clearly that you have to get in touch with your anger, your ‘wrath’ around something. You have never heard of it, so chances are you have never authentically experienced it. You ask them to repeat the word because you are puzzled, and again they tell you that to resolve where you are trying to go, that first you have to touch your anger. Question/s: How do you express anger? How do you feel about authentically feeling angry? What are you angry at that still doesn’t feel resolved? Does feeling puzzled allow you to ignore anger and not tap the emotions that would actually help you move down “the line?”

I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

You have a sense of ‘hearing’ (possibly from your self or others) what it may take for you to move forward, but it is not going in the direction you want to experience. Because you have labeled “trusting yourself and speaking your needs” as the “wrong direction” to take, it may also suggest that not feeling the depths of your anger, has not actually served you in your quest to trust self and communicate openly and confidently with others.

The silver train is going in the way you would like to experience, but again it is all blocked off on the lower levels. The ‘lower levels’ again represent what lies deep within your subconscious or psyche; and as yet, you haven’t been able to find your answers there. The color silver, as I have been taught in many traditions, has to do with the Moon, aspects of one’s femininity, the throat chakra, speaking up, intuition, and the protective energy that aligns peace and/or resolve around an issue.

Even if you currently do not feel clear as to how you will tap the emotion of anger, the aspects represented by the ‘silver train’ that you admittedly would like to experience, are representative of the strength and protection you will gain moving forward. To feel the ‘silver’ (all those feminine expressions that you wish to trust in yourself), and to bring balance both internally and externally into your life, will not be diminished or taken away if you authentically come to grips with anger, those attributes will only expand.



I Can’t Remember

Well here it is the third week in April, and I realized I have yet to post any thing on the Starwalker Dreamer blog. Most people need between 6.5-9 hours of sleep to get into the dream cycle, where their more vivid dreams can rise to the surface of their remembering. I have been traveling and teaching a lot and a sound 8 hour night has not been on my calendar. I realized that my lack of sitting and writing the blog, and remembering my dreams mirrored each other. I have been hitting a “blank dream time state.” This happens to everyone and comes in cycles now and again.

How to deal with that? Well, in a similar fashion to just getting down to writing this blog, sometimes we need to coax the dream to the surface of consciousness. For that to happen we will need to slow down the day to day so we can rest, remember, and record. One last thing–put away the cell phone. Most of us leave the phone next to the bed and the RF (radio frequency rays) not only cause health problems, but they positiviely interrupt your sleep patterns too.

Our conscious mind speaks in words, but our subconscious mind speaks in symbols. So when engaging the subconscious we need to activate something symbolic to engage a connection. Unlike sitting to write this blog, when wanting to remember dream sequences, we need to offer the subconscious mind ‘symbolic bridges’ to let it know that we are actively looking to help our conscious mind deepen those insights and awarenesses into self, that our dreamtime offers.

I thought you, the reader, may enjoy just a few of the ways a couple of my mentors counseled me to remember my dreamtime when going through dream draughts and doubts. These suggestions might take days, or even weeks to work, but they do work. And the actions you use to encourage the subconscious and conscious to meet up, creates the dreaming re-membrances.

A past teacher of mine was a Yaqui Deer Dancer and the principal of his pueblo’s school. His name was Gilberto. It takes many years of training and ceremony to become a Yaqui deer dancer; it is done for the survival of their people. The dance is both poignant and exquisite, in that you believe you are really watching deer. He shared that the Yaqui world consisted of 5 separate worlds: the desert wilderness, the flower, the mystical, the dream, and the night worlds. The deer dancers perfect these worlds by eliminating the harm people have done to them over time.

To them, the dream world holds the reflection of what we hold deep in our minds. He suggested that I program my thoughts before I went to sleep at night to see my reflection- be that in a mirror, a pool of water, or a calm pond. Once you see that reflection, let it lead you. It will reveal something within yourself that you need to claim, release or acknowledge. The key is to look for what is being reflected in the water, it is not in the surrounding terrain, it is literally in the reflection within the water. It is the information held in that reflection that is waiting to inform you. Ask Deer Spirit to guide you to that reflective place. If deer shows up in your dream sequence, follow it in your dream story to the reflection pond it may be guiding you to. See what is to be seen.

Gilberto introduced me to a Mayan elder outside Merida, named Señor Manuel. Señor Manuel had a unique way of speaking to the Spirit World, which he shared was more easily accessed in ceremony and in the dreamtime. In the Mayan tradition it was the trained healers, plant specialist, and curandera’s that did the traditional medicine work. They would be sought out for everything from child birth, to settling family squabbles, to herbal concoctions, to decoding dream sequences.  Manuel would always need to consult the spirits before he did any of this work. He would infuse a glass of water, ofttimes with flower essences, and call on the spirits to come into the water. Before bed he would drink some of the water, bringing his request into his innermost knowing self. His dreams would show him how to do his healing work. He would drink the remaining glass of water in the morning to “ingest the dream’s knowledge.” He suggested that I use this technique to program a glass of water with a request, or question, and follow the same procedure. I would call on the Spirit world to help me find my answer in the dreamtime, or remember the story line the next morning when I finished drinking the water. I can’t tell you how many times this one has worked. Try it, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.

One last suggestion for now, is using a material object to represent something abstract. This one arose from my women’s herbal group. A bedtime ritual can be created to remember your dreams. Get a mugwort smudge stick, incense, or little bowl of dried herb (you might even like to drink a light mugwort tea prior to retiring). Mugwort was used in many cultures for protection, inducing sleep and enhancing dreams,  and is associated with Artemis, the Greek Goddess who sends divine dreams.  Take a talisman, another object that is special or sacred to you, such as a rock, crystal, feather, statue, religious medal, even a symbol on a piece of paper such as a rune, Flower of Life image, a tarot or angel card. Smudge the object and yourself with the lit mugwort smoke, inhale the smoke deeply and ask that the object guide you into your dreams. Experiment with this for a few nights in a row. See what unfolds. You won’t be disappointed.

In closing, I am getting low on dreams to decode. I have two in the works, but always appreciate more should you be of a mind to share anonymously.

Wishing you pleasant and informative dreams!!!!









‘My Dream’


March 2016 ‘My Dream’ entry.


(Note: This dream occurred for the person in January. Because dreams are non-local, meaning not bound by time, space, psyche, or breath–new meanings are always relevant because consciousness is not confined.) The dreamer states she has had a few dreams of late about her two deceased parents.

I am going to review some of this dream using my last post on symbolism and impressions. Both of these create emotions arising in part from conventional, personal and ancestral beliefs. If this were my dream, these are some of the observations and/or questions I might suggest or ask.

Always keep in mind that the dreamer will feel what resonates for him or her or what doesn’t ring true. Pay attention if the questions or observations bring up discomfort or an ahha moment, as either of these is something to explore deeper.

I do believe that those we care for who have crossed over can decide to come to us in our dreamtime to communicate something. The dream space provides a fluid ‘contact vehicle’ or energy wave for loved ones to impart information.

‘My Dream’: Here’s my dream journal entry verbatim-
Walking down the sidewalk, right side of the street. As I pass a telephone pole – time appears to be late ’60s, a city, New Jersey? 

Walking down a sidewalk on the right side of the street. Sidewalks imitate paths, and pathways bring us to a scene, or place, we may or may not wish to observe. Pathways in many ways create sensations that arise as we follow their direction. It is on the right hand side of the street.  I might suggest two things here given both word play and/or the definition offered as to the alternative purpose of the two hemisphere’s of the brain. Is this the “right way” for you to be going? Or perhaps, is your right brain, (numerological computation, pragmatic reasoning, and language as related to intonation or the emotional state of the speaker) asking you logically look at this dream story, or perhaps expand past your pragmatism as regards a new path? If the sidewalk is a new path, will reviewing your past (60’s), be helpful? 

I pass a telephone pole. Someone or something is trying to communicate to you.  (60’s time period), is that a message from your past, or is the message perhaps late in getting to you? It’s a pole, so you might have to think about what’s trying to be communicated to you from more lofty heights or from a higher perspective of looking at the information. [Aside: numerological #60/6 on the Seneca Cycles of Truth is about having faith in one’s self and trusting that they can present or speak their truth as new awarenesses unfold.]

The time appears to be late 60’s. What does that time frame mean in your world? What was going on in your family at that time? The 60’s was a more liberated time period, with lots of changes and freedoms politically, sexually, musically, religiously, and culturally. It also produced a lot of angst for older, parental, or more fixed folks who feared such changes in every corner of their world. How was that handled in your home? Or how is change handled in you now? Do you struggle between freedom and rigidity in any area of your life?

-a city, New Jersey. What’s your affiliation with New Jersey, and if there is none for you or your family, what emotion does New Jersey bring up for you? Word play, you can “put on a new jersey,” or perhaps a new new way of looking at something from your past, that can inform your current or future self?

– an older model car, like a Ford Fairlane – two tone, white and teal—pulls over to curb. As I turn to look, I see my father is behind the wheel. He appeared to be in his 40s. I’m excited to see him, think-say You’re alive, you’re still alive! Had the feel of true reality, not a dream.

Sometimes a car can represent the physical body. This old Ford Fairlane, could represent that your father was older when he passed, but like many of those who have passed at later stages of life, they show up in our dreams as a younger more energetic imprint of themselves. Mainly because they associate more with themselves at that time of their life, when they felt more vibrant. Did your father take the ” fair lane” in raising you? He’s driving, was he in control or controlling?

Emotion: It would appear that you are very excited to see him, as you think he is still alive and that makes you happy…..and you would like that to be true in some capacity. (Had feeling of true reality and not a dream). In the dreamtime, the field of possibilities is larger. We are able to tap into the greater field of consciousness, it is more of a true reality than what we call reality. In the dreamtime, we’ve just stepped into a non-local awareness of parallel time waves, where we can go backwards or forwards on the time line we live in during waking life. In that sense dreams are very shamanic. My question would be, Do you have anything left unsaid for him, as you can say that to him at any point, understanding that in death there is still consciousness, just not a physical body of flesh and blood.

[Just as a side bar on the symbology, in numerology/tarot the #40 becomes the 4, the Emperor, the father; and this was your father. On the Seneca Wisdom Wheel, the #4 stands for motivating ourselves towards our spiritual truth. On those same wheels, the color white stands for boundaries, sharing, and magnetism….how we magnetize to ourselves the people, places, and thoughts that help us “grow corn” and conversely how we also release from ourselves, the people, places and thoughts that inhibit our freedom to “grow further.” Is there anything in that explanation for  you to consider?

The color teal is likewise said to be a vibration that can enliven spiritual growth and motivation, so it would repeat the energetic message to some degree, of what the #4 meaning is trying to impress on you.

He gets out of the car and comes over to me on the sidewalk. We walk a few steps and then are in the kitchen of an old house.

-in the kitchen of an old house. Kitchens signify nurturing, it is where we are physically fed, but can also be emotionally fed and cared for. The old house represents the past or an old emotion. Do you feel nurturing is lacking in your life? Did you get emotional nurturance from your parents/father? Conversely, do you need to stop seeking nurturance from without, and learn to give it to yourself? How do you father yourself? Protect yourself? Nurture yourself?

The feel, again is late ’60s or even earlier, the ’50s. We walk in – counters/sink/stove/fridge run along my right and veer left along the far wall. I look up into that corner above the end of the counter – a break, maybe leading to another room – and

Timing question: Is it late in time (60’s/50’s, your dream sequence repeats this again) Do you cling to the past; or is there something about living in the past that is limiting your forward motion? What is your past trying to remind you of or want you to remember? What is important about your past that your dream self is wanting you to focus on? It is repeated because it is trying to make a point for your waking self.

You have everything available to nurture and feed yourself. This is symbolized through the countersink, stove, fridge, everything one would need to care for their needs in the kitchen. And again it is on the right, observe that direction is also being repeated…but there is a break to the left (possibly seeking more balance or confirmation of something-like a fork in the road), maybe leading to another room (another direction in your life that quite possibly you need to explore).

I notice the old, stained acoustic tiles in the ceiling. One is dipping at the corner and as I look, a fine black dust/powder begins to stream through, getting more and more voluminous as it falls. I know that it is the crushed bodies of dead insects and that it is dangerous to me.

Your emotions suddenly shift here. Always pay attention to that in your dreamscape; your dream body now has your full attention. You were excited to see dad. You followed him into an “old memory.” That memory was one where you hoped to seek some form of nurturing. You have all the tools to offer that to yourself now (all the kitchen appliances), but suddenly the ceiling (which can represent a higher spiritual knowing, but also implicates that you’ve stop moving upward-that is not a judgement, we all pause before we move to grow again, as pausing is part of the momentum that gives us the energy to keep going)….but it is falling and stained. There is something emotional from the past that “stains” or limits you from “hearing” (acoustic tiles), something you need to acknowledge, to free yourself–either emotionally, or ancestrally from your family of origin. There is something in that observation that feels dangerous to you? I see this as a warning, or opportunity to be aware of something that needs change in your outer world.

Fine black powder is streaming through the ceiling tiles, more and more of it is falling. You can’t hold back that which needs to be addressed or remembered; it will come out one way or another. Black is the absence of all color, and may indicate you don’t know what to do to refresh and bring color back into your day to day. I know that it is the crushed bodies of dead insects and that it is dangerous to me. Bugs, (although dead and crushed-both of which insinuate the past), are an annoyance at worst, a reminder of survival at their best. What about your past is dangerous for you to remember….or counter-inuitively, what about your past do you need to release.

Black on the Wisdom Wheel is about finding balance through listening to your inner needs, thus moving you forward; it only feels dangerous until we assess the emotions it brings up, or learn what to do with the information coming into conscious awareness. Although this might feel like the least comfortable part of the dream, it is actually your subconscious or conscious dreamer’s way of getting you some important info, fast. Look how quickly it changed the mood for you and grabs your attention.

From behind me, I get the sense that my father is there, trying to distract me away from this black stuff, think-saying that that wasn’t for me or wasn’t good for me. I consented to leave and the dream ended.

Is father behind you as a protector distracting you so as to not dredge up painful memories; or is he distracting you because a direction you are about to take in your waking life is not a good path for you; or is he distracting you from a dangerous knowing, that once brought into your awareness would be painful to remember? Only you will know if any of these questions mean anything by the emotions they illicit for you in the asking.

Something else to keep in mind that is of importance in any dream. When your dream character is someone familiar to you, or you are being warned to look at something uncomfortable that the dream story has brought up…the sequence may simply be making an analogy to someone current in your life, or a situation in waking life that is either similar to, or as yet unfamiliar in playing out. By assuming they are only who you think they are (dad), you miss the multiple layers of what the dream is trying to reveal to you.

Activity for more clarity: My suggestion is to pick just one object in the dream: dad, New Jersey, the Ford Fairlane, the kitchen, the crushed bugs…any object, and do stream of consciousness with the image-write down everything that floats up in your mind and in bodily sensations. Don’t edit the thoughts, sensations, images, or impressions by assessing anything is either too silly, or makes little sense in the recording of it. Become it; use your senses to feel and embody it. Then pick a second image from the dream and do the same thing. Compare the information you get between the two and see what new realizations emerge.