Shamanic Awareness Demand Personal Boundaries

This young woman dreamer shared that she had this dream just before starting her training in the Andean Mystical Tradition. She felt that was an important thing to note when conveying the dream. I also got to ask her questions directly, which I am not able to do for every dream blog posting, so that offered more information. It is not unusual for people to reference more things in the retelling of their dreams, when discussed or questioned.
I’m in a room and notice a particular person observing me. I have my guard up with the intention to protect myself as I feel an increase of unfamiliar energies surrounding me.
The dream room is very important. It can tell us many things, whether it highlights something in your outer world, or an emotion or level of consciousness coming to light in your inner world. As the dream suggests a bit further down, she is at a ceremonial or workshop space, as she has come to see a shaman. So there is something the dream ‘story’  is trying to ‘teach’ her as the dream symbols emerge from her unconscious moving to her conscious knowing, through this dream.
Often defending or needing to protect oneself in a dream is an indication of something that is threatening us in the outer world. In this case there is someone observing her, but she immediately and intentionally puts her guard up to protect herself. I questioned the dreamer if this observer was a man, or woman, or perhaps the shaman that she mentions further into the dream. The dreamer says it feels like male energy, but not the shaman, and reiterates that she has to be on her guard. I would suggest in this case that she look to her outer world, whether friends or colleagues, and have her assess where she feels she is in need of being “on guard” or where she is feeling unsupported, as she assumes this new path for herself.

There is a shaman/priest behind a beaded curtain, sitting cross-legged on a platform to my right.
I ask the dreamer if the shaman is male or female. Are his eyes open or shut? Does he move, or is he in repose. She tells me that it is a male; he never moves as he seems to be in a state of concentration or calm; and she doesn’t know about his eyes. I note his posture indicates almost a meditative state.
Shamans and priests usually have access to, and can sometimes influence the Spirit world. That this shaman/priest is in repose indicates he is working either on his inner world, or with the Spirit world in a calm and focused manner. I could read this in two ways. One, the person she was studying with is someone she considers wise and with his ability to concentrate on the Spirit world, she is hoping to emulate that eventually herself in a better way. The other suggestion would be that her ‘inner shaman’, the one she is trying to develop, needs to find the time to concentrate and reflect.
He is behind a beaded curtain on a platform sitting cross legged.                                          Curtains represent either closing something off, or distracting someone from looking in. In this case though, the curtain is see through and made of beads. Beads signify connections to something, and in this case, a connection to being able to ‘see’ what can’t be hidden.

The shaman is on a platform; he is stable. But it also implies he is above her in his knowledge. The dreamer’s ability to access all the shaman can see within the spirit world, is not hidden from her, because this is a beaded curtain, and she can see him. It’s a thin line of separation between his world and her world; that she still needs to learn to sit in to actualize that space.

Between us, on my right and his left are two “guards” in black, holding swift ninja-like energy. They are inside the platform but are able to reach out so I avoid them to prevent them from grabbing at me. I stare forward.
To her right suggests she needs to use discernment and logic when working in these realms. To his left, implies he already trusts his intuition in these inner domains. She is staring straight ahead, she is trying to stay focused. I asked the dreamer–Why would the guards touching you be dangerous? She said perhaps because of her fear of the unknown she perceives them as dangerous, when most likely they were the shaman’s protectors.

The guards represent a number of things: they are in black, which on the Wisdom Wheels suggests listening to the Self. An important part of any teaching/teacher is to NOT take everything at face value, to see how it impacts you personally, and to make your own decisions with how to implement those energies or teachings. The shaman is in his centered place; the dreamer needs to find hers. I would suggest the ninja guards were there to show her how to protect herself.
The guards are reminders that she needs to not necessarily guard herself from the teachings, but to be on guard not to take everything as fact until she ‘has tried the meaning of the teachings on for herself.’ They have ninja-like energy, and can reach outside the ‘platform’ or plinth of centeredness and control. I believe her fear is that she may feel overwhelmed by her own power, when she does sit in that centered place. And, things in her world can collapse quickly if she doesn’t listen to her own counsel. Ninjas indicate stealth, skill, and self-discipline….everything you need to agilely move within the shamanic world.
Ninja’s can also suggest that something or someone is stalking you….so I would ask the dreamer, does she feel the shaman world is stalking her to actively learn all she can? Or counter, I might also ask her (going back to the beginning of her dream), if there is someone in her outer world who doesn’t want her to follow this path; someone whose beliefs are counter to hers; or someone who wishes to stop her from this path? These ninja-guards are actually there to teach her to be on guard in a good way; to be diligent in these studies.
A drum begins to beat and a chant rises in the background. A large floating boulder suddenly appears ahead and as the rhythms in the music rise it hurdles forward – I feel it is surely going to hit me in the face! I thrust out my left hand and in that hand I am holding a simple, cylindrical, wooden wand/staff.
A consistent drum beat synchronizes the left and right hemispheres of the brain. The beat puts one into resonance with the self. Chanting is a way to manipulate energy, not dissimilar to drumming, and manipulation not necessarily implying in a negative way. It is used in ceremonies, be they churches, pagan rituals, and/or indigenous ceremonies, to uplift and align with Spirit, or bring in more focused energy.

For example Buddhist’s don’t chant to pray or ask for something, they do it to enhance teaching, learning, and recounting. It’s a way for them to connect to the higher energies within themselves, not outside the self. First nations People drum and chant to be in alignment with the Spirit World and to enhance the information in that communication or ceremony for the People. Where both drumming and chanting therefore take us within the self, it is a call to this dreamer to ‘go within.’
A boulder hurtles towards her, as the music rises. I would ask the dreamer to focus on the obstacles that she perceives are in her way to follow this path. By her own admission, when asked, she confided that the boulder felt like a ‘test.’
The boulder is an obstacle, possibly a test of her conviction to this shamanic path, and it is taking on momentum in her life. She holds out a simple cylindrical wooden wand/staff that stops it. I would suggests this is telling her that she needs to pace herself with this work, and the stick suggests consistency. She doesn’t need “to be hit in the face” with the power of this work, she can simply and consistently work at what this new found study brings to her. She has taken control of her own process with this wand/staff which represents vital energy, a creative gesture, or spiritual control.
I had narrowly protected myself as the boulder stops shy of hitting me and it begins to pendulum forwards and then away from where I’m standing.
She has gained momentum and focus in how to work the energies and to begin to make the decisions of how this path will impact and propel her. There will be times (like a pendulum) where she is more active, and times where she might not be able to be as active as she would like, for whatever her life circumstances are in the moment.
Becoming more lucid and aware, my attention is brought to my mind’s eye. I am conscious that I am in a “dream” state and feel a strong energy being directed into my third eye. I sense and “see” oval/circular images that display strange but familiar light symbols that are rotating and downloading into my forehead. I am aware of my physical body. My left arm feels heavy and my left hand is clasped in a tight fist as if I am truly holding the wand. I ride out the experience, internally chanting a personal mantra to abate any fears. The symbols ease into waves, patterns of light energy that when I open my eyes are still visible despite the darkness.
Here the dreamer flips into literally a lucid dream. In lucid dreams we have more control over the inner worlds of the dreamtime and the outer world we have labeled reality. To move into lucidity, when the dream  ‘teaching’ has been presented to you in the preceding dream sequence, suggests the Over Soul Self is taking you to a deeper level of understanding the information, position, or impact it has just presented to your dream memory.

The third eye is her inner sight opening. She sees symbols, light images, she is being downloaded with this information into her third eye, into her awareness, and that will work its way into her daily reality. Her Over Soul Self reminds her with the heavy feeling in her arm, and the sense of the staff still being in her left fist, that she needs to be consistent, diligent, and discerning in this work. Her personal mantra shows inner control and that she is ready to stand in her personal power.
She shared that the images resembled old cave drawings, things like the Nazca lines, and light encoded symbols. I would suggest this is a path she has walked before in some capacity, possibly in another lifetime. If we actually occupy multiple dimensions at the same time, like some quantum physicists claim, then perhaps she is awaking to another aspect of herself that wants to step forward to enrich her current waking reality? Either way, she has within herself a knowing, an inner knowing that is being re-awakened….like the new day she awakens too, while perceiving she can still see the ‘light energy’, despite the dark.
Yes we can see within the light and beyond the dark, more than metaphors these are ways to walk the middle distances!! And the shamanic world offers us just that, if we consistently utilize our awareness to create the safe boundaries we need to continue to expand our perceptions!!



Dreaming in the Hive Mind

Dreams are a manifestations created through the meeting of your imagination and unconscious ‘knowing’, and one way your subconscious deals with stresses. It is not uncommon to dream in reaction to the environmental vibrations being generated around you, especially if they are stressful. There is a Universal pulse that our unconscious selves is aware of, and in the dreamtime we are more susceptible to tapping into that frequency. Carl Jung’s collective unconscious explains part of this nicely.
I have chosen this dream for two reasons. Its symbolism is significant to this election cycle, (please know my interpretation is NOT a political statement*); and I believe this dreamer has her pulse on the more universal frequencies within the ‘fabric of time/space/breath’ that are being generated around the country in the “energetic mind soup” we are surrounded in.
*That said every dreamer and every dream analyst, has a lens through which they see things based on their history/herstory. I want to be fair for that possibility in this interpretation.
Though getting a bit scientific, I’m going to inject something here to support my belief that this dreamer was reacting more to a global pulse or beat. There is a study called predictive anticipatory activity or PAA. Quoting: “The phenomenon is ‘predictive’ because it can distinguish between upcoming stimuli; it is ‘anticipatory’ because physiological changes occur before a future event; and it is an ‘activity’ because it involves changes in the cardiopulmonary, skin, and/or nervous systems”…[side bar & my addition: I believe strongly, that dreams are another indicator through which the changes activate us.]
This PAA phenomenon is similar to what researchers have noted when world-wide events are about to happen and there is an unconscious, but notable ‘energetic spike’ recorded across the world as computer changes are generated by global reactions. It happened just prior to the great tsunami that occurred December 26, 2004, as well as pre and post 9/11. It’s called the ‘hive mind’. I quote one section of an article to make my point: “Since the 1990s, the Princeton researchers have been trying to measure this hypothetical giant, humanity-encompassing hive mind, by tracking the effect of events on a network of computers around the world that are set to churn out random strings of numbers. But the world paid relatively little attention to their efforts, until Nelson published this paper, “Coherent Consciousness and Reduced Randomness: Correlations on September 11, 2001,” in the Journal of Scientific Exploration in 2002. It reported that the traumatic terrorist attack, which caused a powerful out-pouring of emotions across the planet, had a measurable effect upon the network’s computers that was extremely unlikely to have been caused by chance.”
I always ask participants in my dream classes to give the dream a title. In doing so, you take action to bring a concept from the unconscious, and manifest an aspect of the dream’s symbology into your conscious state.
The Dream: (the dreamer’s title) Hilary and the wounded right.
I am visiting a friend, a Chelsea-Clinton-type young woman who is apparently my BFF.  She doesn’t look like Chelsea at all, nor do her parents look like Hill & Bill.  They all look Armenian–dark hair, olive skin, very distinctive non-Clinton faces, but I gradually realize that the mother is indeed Hillary.
Let’s first look at the word Chel-sea (‘chill sea,’ a deep set of cold emotions that may be hard to submerge oneself in comfortably for any length of time). Chelsea also means ‘port’…..Chelsea Clinton is a bright, articulate women and in many ways a ‘safe harbor’ or ‘port of call’ for her parents, despite their antics. The dreamer states she is not Chelsea, but Chelsea-like, but in the realization that her mother is Hilary, this makes it more likely that she represents Chelsea, or the fulcrum point of balance for this family, and possibly this dream.
They look Armenian, dark-haired, olive skin, distinctive, but not Clintonesque. Though Hilary means cheerful and merry, the adjectives used suggests that she might be keeping something ‘in the dark’ or possibly hiding something behind a mask that doesn’t represent who she/they (the Clinton’s) truly are.
Now that said, on the Medicine wheel, black stands for listening not only to the Self, but to the truths that others are speaking or sharing, so we can make better educated decisions. And, olive green represents a feminine archetype that needs to learn to bridge the will and emotions. I don’t think I am being unfair in suggesting that these two things are something Hilary has been accused of needing to bring into balance.
Ironically, one of the mantras of olive green is, “I can surrender to a new way of compassionate leadership for the sake of humanity.” The down side of this color is needing to transform fear and bitterness, if authentic empowerment is to occur. And this is their ‘skin’, skin is what covers us from head to toe, and is the first boundary or line of defense we present to the world. So some folks in this election see her as a woman who can bridge compassion and will as a sound leader for the things she believes strongly in; while others perceive her as someone to be feared, and a person who will bitterly and punitively defend her turf at all costs.
We’re in their very large home; they are entertaining guests.
(Homes/Houses in dreams usually symbolize the self. They are a personal refuge, a place where we go to relax with family/friends, or they can represent something about the self you are trying to explore. Specific rooms in the house indicate certain aspects of your psyche, so ending up in specific room, often says something about the act of your personal exploration within. 
The dreamer is in ‘their home.’ The Clinton’s private life has been thrown open once again to the general public. The size & shape and condition of the house says a lot-where this is ‘their’ very large house, it suggests that they have a large presence in the circumstances in which they currently find themselves.  They are interacting with many people (entertaining guests), which would also go along with what a candidate would need to do to gather forces. 
Chelsea comes over to me, excited, and tells me that she just saw her mother in a passionate embrace with their family doctor and the sense was they had just been intimate and were “finishing up.”  
I find this curious on two levels. One, the media is hyping a lot about the fact that Hillary may be sick, and that her doc is covering something up. This would be in the universal mind matrix. This could simply imply that she needs to watch her health. She and the doctor were in an embrace and the assumption is that they are intimate—Are they in cahoots together? Or having an implied affair? Certainly the media these past weeks have inferred both; that there are lies about her health and they have validated sexual scandals on both sides concerning Donald & Bill. In this case though, I am struck that an embrace means she needs support, someone to nurture her.
However, as all this innuendo “finishes up” in this electoral election, none of us should be surprised anymore by what else gets revealed. That is not implying Hilary is having an affair with her doctor, it is meant to say that we may get more intimate information about her personality as this whole campaign “finishes up.”
The numbness many are experiencing or counter point, the wrath some exhibit, will need to be dealt with (doctored) for us to become a healthier nation again that can ‘embrace’ our differences and ‘support each other’. So in this regard, Hilary has her own needs in this dream, and they reflect universal needs for our country; in a similar fashion that the dreamer having this dream is expressing her personal dream, while having also tapped into the matrix stimuli of a larger dream context.
Rather than being scandalized, Chelsea’s attitude was more, “Wow, who would have thought?” Other than that, she didn’t seem upset.
Speaking for myself and as interpreter, I think all the scandalized comments, exaggerated accusations, and vitriol have made many numb, like Chelsea’s reaction seems to suggest. We should be more intellectually upset than we are, but many are taking the attitude “Who would have thought?” Or worse, “What can we do?” or “Why should we care?”
In the next scene, we are outside and I get to see the house.  It’s built into a mountainside; everything is made from the rock.
The dreamer is now getting a look at this person/the house, from another perspective. Seeing a house from the outside of the structure, often means seeing the ‘façade.’  The house is built on a strong foundation and seems almost impenetrable; as a team the Clinton’s have always emulated that. It’s built into a mountainside, suggesting that they are very well entrenched, protected, or have secured a foundation that will be hard to move. You can’t move mountains. 
Everything is made of rocks. Does this imply their foundation, their rigidity, their perceived coldness, or their profound intellectual structured organization? Or do the rocks imply that they believe down to their very bones, (stones being the bones of the earth and corresponding to our human skeletal structure), that they have climbed mountains and built a strong foundation to preside over, and work hard for, humanity and the earth?  
We are down below the house on some type of pleasant plateau where the family entertains.
Down below the house/outer façade, on a plateau is where entertaining takes place-again the implication is that at the surface of who & what they show of themselves to be to the world, they occupy a pleasant zone of existence.  The terrain of a dream is very important, and says a lot about the context or symbolism in the dream itself. If one has reached a plateau, it suggest they have made a climb towards something and get to rest. When you climb down to a plateau, it suggests that little has changed and you might be resting on something you have attained in the past.
It is however a stable place, where they are more comfortable when they assess or ‘entertain’ the changes they seek to create or be part of.
There is a l-o-n-g staircase from the house down to the plateau, maybe 100 or 200 steps down. The staircase too is carved from solid rock, with a strong firm banister on the outer edge.  It’s really long but looks quite safe. 
Stairs in a dream, that are moving downward suggest going deeper into the Self. Look at the construct of the stairs to determine what this descent into the Self will look or feel like.  Stairs can also challenge us to take care of our approach to something. These are carved-implying they have purposefully been designed that way and come with a strong sense of form & function.
They are of solid rock, which means there is a concrete way to interpret how one gets to a safe place (the plateau). And the rock implies not much can shake them loose. There is a firm bannister on the outer edge, implicating that those descending will not fall into an abyss or be lost from the scene forever; they may get very close to the edge, but they will be able to recover any misstep.  There is a firm support with the bannister’s presence that will not allow them to fall over the edge.  
The house is large and very interesting architecturally, since it’s been carved right into the mountain
Although Hilary is the main focus in the dream, and on this 2016 campaign as the Democratic placeholder, the family is an intrinsic part of who she is. ‘Architecturally’, by design, she is not doing this alone. They are indeed an interesting family made up of many facets, and they have done battle, both pro and con over their many years together. They always land on their feet, and despite some of the scandals, they have carved out a solid place for themselves (the mountain) in politics, in history, as two distinct intellectuals, and as an intricately complex couple.
Guests are coming down to the plateau to join us. 
People have, and are, supporting her.  
The doctor appears at the top of the stairs.  Oddly, we notice he appears to have injured his right leg. Some type of serious strain. 
Going with the dreamer’s title, the conservative right as a unified whole, does seem to be limping along in this election. They are seriously strained as a party. Legs move us forward, and they seem to be struggling to move the party forward as a whole. It can also mean that the dominant part of Hilary, the right side, masculine, left brain-logos, discipline, direction and determination-needs some type of a healthy balance, as some people (falsely perhaps) perceive her as lacking true empathy and emotions.
He can get down the stairs if he moves very slowly and holds the bannister with both hands. He’s looking very uncomfortable and grunting.  It dawns on us that he “overdid it” when having sex with Hillary and injured himself.
The conservative right can appear off balance during these times, and needs to “hold on” to what they wish to exemplify moving forward after this election, no matter who wins. They can injure themselves for years to come if they “overdo” the rhetoric, that is actually tearing them apart as a party.  Sex is about integration, coming together, and can be simply seen as another expression for passion. I do think she is passionate about issues, but her naysayers always look for her woundedness and inconsistencies.
The problem here is if the right overdoes the rhetoric (and threats that their constituents have unabashedly said), in their effort to keep the House & Senate, even if they are not united fully behind their candidate, they will still injure their party through all the ‘grunting’/squabbling and uncomfortable feelings being generated.
We find this funny (it’s clear that the injury isn’t permanent and he actually can move around). Maybe he threw something out of place when over-exerting. Behind him another man comes to the top of the stairs.  As he starts down, it’s obvious he is also nursing an injured right leg.  The same injury.  He grabs the banister and starts down, limping and grunting just like the doctor.  They hear each other and look at each other; gradually it dawns on them that both of them have been having an affair with Hillary and have injured themselves in the same way. 
This can imply two totally different things. Perhaps, at this point in this election saga, some republicans are throwing their hat into the ring for Hilary cautiously, silently, or with even with more awareness. And if that were discovered, they would be embarrassed and shocked at who in the party has broken ranks. Or possibly, no matter how many times she pretends her ‘affairs’ are in order, something else comes up to embarrass her. (I’m thinking those pesky emails as they symbolize something being made public, similar to the men realizing each other’s affair with Hilary is now obvious, and would preferred it to have remained unknown.)  
They look shocked and then embarrassed. The first man links himself to the second man so they can help each other go down the long staircase.
The Republicans embarrassment at where they have allowed there candidate to go unchecked, and her embarrassment and past foibles, are linked together on many levels.
Chelsea and I look at each other and think this is shocking and hilarious.  Imagine!  Wow. 
This feels like an emotional release. If Chel-sea represents the ‘sea of emotions’ or if she represents “any port in a storm” then shock at the reality of what has unfolded, and humor at the absurdity of it all, will have to be two emotions integrated by the general populace for a healthy release from where we all now find ourselves, to occur. 
Imagine & Wow. Imagine from the Latin is to create a mental picture of, and from the French implies to sculpt, carve or embellish. I think the splintered ‘hive mind,’ whomever you vote for (and that in part is what the dreamer and Chelsea represent), have created a mental picture of the two parties, embellished by sound bites that can be shocking on the one hand and hilarious, if it wasn’t so important, on the other. Wow means enthusiastic approval, surprise, or success in some form. To me this word is a harbinger of something to come, because the dreamer wants us to “imagine wow.” And the dream, is promising more to come, so it asks the dreamer to pay attention.
Then a third person appears at the top of the stairs. It is Donald Trump.  He is also injured in his right leg.  REALLY?  Donald and Hillary?  He’s in pain too, and begins the descent, grunting and limping.  The other two men look back and the three of them realize what is going on and they all look sheepish. 
And here is the promise of more to come. Donald appears.
Three represents many things. This scenario has now happened 3xs. It could represent past, present, future; birth, life, death; beginning, middle, end. All these things apply to where we find ourselves as a nation in this election. However, three is also a magical number that can bring good fortune.
From the perspective of exposing the anger, polarization, and discontent of this nation, like exposing any shadow-side into the light of day (awareness), we have the potential and a choice to heal something deep and old in this nation.  This is what dreams offer to both the individual, and to the ‘hive mind.’ To bring what has been unconscious, ignored, and suppressed into consciousness.
It forms a triangle which often indicates easy flow coming; I believe we all need that. Upright it can be a symbol for the earth, and pointing downward, it symbolizes the element of water. Solidity and emotional flow—two things we are facing and need to bring together.  When something happens 3xs in a row in the dream, it is really directing us to pay very close attention. It makes the dream context specific and concretized. In this case Hilary needs to pay close attention to Donald Trump. He is limping without total support from his party.  But he too is injured, in his flawed personality. 
They all look sheepish. These men who may well represent the Republican Party, may be sheepish about how all this has unfolded and progressed to the point at which it currently stands. 
By this time Chelsea and I are laughing out loud.  “Go mom!” says Chelsea.
I could read this as you are rooting for Hilary; or that the sea of emotions will rise in Hilary’s favor; or perhaps that we will all have a good laugh after November 8th, although I doubt that last suggestion as things are currently too charged and will need calm heads to navigate the after-math.
Notice the focus is  still “on the men” who are coming down the stairs…..not necessarily Hilary, who is seemingly detached from their behaviors. It is you the dreamer & Chelsea who are aware of what is happening and what is being exposed, which is akin to the general public being witness to all this.
A fourth man appears, same injury.  We cannot believe it.  We are amazed and really laughing.  All four men are now linked to each other as they limp and grunt their way down.
Four gives me hope. Four represents stability, form & function. It is the symbol of totality and in initiations can represent the pieces that come together to create ‘all’. Think 4 directions, 4 seasons, 4 quadrants in astrology, 4 legs of a table or chairs-foundational stability. The number 4 is also the symbol for planet Earth, and this election will be very important for everyone globally, not just the US.
That said there is a caution. In the tarot 4 represents the Emperor and it is ruled by Aries. On the one hand the emperor is the all giving father or authority figure that offers stability, structure and new thriving energy as his input for the stability and growth of a situation, family, or kingdom. The energy can be both excited and exploratory, or in its infancy energy stage, due to it being the first sign of the zodiac, Aries—it can be demanding and aggressive, while imposing its will. There needs to be a balance to be the ‘good king’ and not the ‘angry despot.’
These are still the men coming down the stairs, so my suggestion is that this caution is applicable to what the Republican candidate and as such their party members, may represent.    
End of dream; I woke up laughing. 
To see all of this with a sense of humor is important. Life does present us with absurdities and moments of profound change when we need to grow and stretch and redefine. What will be, will be in the end and we will all have to accept it if we are to stay a democracy. Either way, what has been dislodged from the deep unconscious and under belly of the American public, like the gift of many dream scenarios, is now exposed and evident in the light of day, for our consideration and assessment.

Thank you dreamer for sharing. May we all vote and realize the honor of being in a country of democracy. God/Goddess bless the United States of America.

Madre Ayahuasca

I have just returned from Peru (a land I simply love after 30 years of re-visiting and studying), and thought I had better write the next dream blog before I set off again taking another group within a week’s time to Damanhur, Italy.

I chose the dream below, in part because I find Mother Ayahuasca a very strong and disciplined teacher, and in part because I know what these ceremonies can bring to the surface. Mother Ayahuasca IS the master arbitrator and decides what will be revealed to you, and what is necessary and timely for your growth.

This person had a dream after returning home from a large Ayahuasca ceremony she had attended in Florida. She states that the Peruvian ayahuascaro, a person who has studied the tradition in the Amazon jungle and learned the icaros (the sacred songs used to modulate the energy of the group within the ceremony), had a couple of assistants to help hold the energy, and a translator named Alberto* from Costa Rica** who was unusual looking, androgynous, but incredibly eloquent. (Watch out for silver tongues.)

She reflected that she was a bit disappointed in the ceremony because there were too many people in attendance and she couldn’t relax. Sleeping was bunk style and she was on the top bunk, and found the up and down annoying. She had the dream the next night when she was at home.

*Alberto means noble and bright, but because it comes from old German, with the Latin form, it also implies someone who is romanticized. Keep this in mind when realizing he was the ‘translator.’ Someone who translates, gives their version, through their lens.

**Costa Rica’s loose unofficial motto is “Pura Vida” which translates as ‘pure life.’ So the translator is suggesting that the ‘dreamer’ become their own arbitrator of ‘pure life’ and what that means for them.

The dream:

There was a little white mouse in a cage, all filled with bedding and wood shavings. It looked like it was stuck and couldn’t move, just its little head was poking out. I reached in to help it free itself an when I did I found that the reason it was trapped was that it had an enormous tumor-many times the size of the mouse-which was buried under the mouse at the bottom of the cage, which had the little mouse immobilized. I scooped my hands under the tumor to lift the mouse out.

In the Seneca tradition white on the Medicine wheel stands for boundaries, as well as magnetism and sharing. Magnetism in this regard is seen as the ability to call to one’s self the people, places and things that help you to grow, and at the same time, to release from your life the people, places and things that no longer support your growth. Mouse is seen as holding a ‘degree of bravery.’ They are adaptable, inventive, curious, and strive for security for themselves and their family. Because they scrutinize everything, when they appear, in a dream or meditation, their message is about “looking at what’s right in front of your eyes”…to scrutinize everything carefully and look for traps that might ensnare you. In the case of this dream, I would share with the dreamer, that the situation with the medicine plant was that it was cautioning her to draw boundaries with one, or some of the people or teachers/translators that were at the ceremony, lest she magnetize to herself energy that was counter to her personal growth and comfort. To scrutinize what she felt about her surroundings/ceremony,  and to feel comfortable to bravely see the ‘big picture’ beyond the ritual. In this case the mouse was part of her dreaming self.

The mouse was trapped in a cage. You were limited. My questions would be, did you feel trapped; or were your surroundings or the situation you were in, influenced by the group energy possibly trapping you to believe something about the medicine or the capabilities of the ayahuascaro? Or perhaps not realize something of the power within yourself. I ask this because the ‘shavings’ the comfort of having someone who was providing adequate space to have the ceremony, in fact hid a huge tumor.  Tumors in dreams can suggest something you are hiding from yourself or are choosing to ignore or deny. It can represent something that is “eating at you.” What was eating at you about this ceremony? It appears you were immobilized to extract yourself from something that was not serving your highest good. But the mouse’s  head was poking out-some part of you intellectually knew this was not for you.

You scooped your hands under the tumor to get the mouse out. Mother Ayahuasca helped, even if you were not consciously aware of it, to get underneath the situation to help you (through the dreamtime) to at least begin to look at, or consider what was ‘eating at you.’ Dreaming of hands is often a sign of self-awareness; so some part of you was conscious of the fact that this wasn’t possibly the best of rituals for you to be involved with (no judgement or criticism here).

Next thing I remember is putting the mouse in an aquarium-type container that had some form of orangish-red sponge foam bits in it, though they seemed as well gelatinous as well as spongy.

You are bringing awareness forward-the aquarium being an object that is glass and therefore transparent. Orange and red on the Medicine Wheel, represent learning what you need to do to organize your thoughts or actions for change, and the red means trusting yourself to be able to have the faith to present your truth about a situation. But it is spongy, which means it is not solidly held within your consciousness yet.

When I put the mouse in, and feeling quite satisfied at having freed it, I looked back to see the weight of the mouse and its tumor, it had sunk down under the spongey stuff and the mouse’s head was under water.

This would suggest to me that part of you realized what was going on (consciously or not), and was accurate in your assessment of the level or limitations of the ayahuascaro (or at least the ceremony), but that emotionally (the water) you gave your intellect (the head) over to him/or the translator as knowing better than you, (getting dragged down by the tumor)….the spongey stuff (suggesting you were easily absorbed or receptive to the information you were being shown), and highlighting the need to independently find your own path, without relying on others influences or the fact that they know better than you.

He didn’t look panicked or anything, he looked like maybe he was holding his breath, or perhaps trying to breathe in the water. I reached my hand in and lifted his head above the water, for which he was grateful and started to breathe again. 

This tells me, that although the experience wasn’t what you were hoping for, or had anticipated, that you didn’t panic, you tried to flow with the emotions it brought up. But by your own admission in the very beginning of setting up the dream, you also stated that you didn’t allow yourself to go as deeply as you might have allowed yourself to go, due to the stress of not only too many people, but too tight a space for that much energy circulating. In that sense, you kept “your head above water” and breathed through the experience. Although you might have been annoyed, you were not taken down by the ritual. This shows that you have a good sense of your personal boundaries and how to protect yourself even in situations that are “eating at you.” 

A little later I looked over and saw that the mouse’s head had detached from his body and was floating around on the top of the water, separate from his body and his tumor. I covered my face with my hands, and spun around saying, “Oh no, how did that happen?” feeling like I had had some part of his demise. Next time I looked at him, the mouse’s head had regenerated a new body-he was alive and was tumor-free and perfect. 

Counter to you believing in the dream that you were part of ‘his’ demise, you were actually part of your own perceptual healing. Separating your intellect from the emotions of the tumor. The head was floating on the water, showing that you need to unite head & heart, to regenerate yourself (tumor free), and then you will feel both freedom, and that what you have to share is perfect for where you find yourself. Thus not romanticizing or denying the capacity of your bright and noble self, as you find the purity within your own life. I might suggest that this was the message of Mother Ayahuasca.





Dying to the Past

This dream is fraught with images of letting go of the past, the need to move on, and the Higher Self trying to impart wisdom that we don’t have to be, or continue to drag our past with us. There must be a point where we put down our burden basket and know, truly, that we have done our best and our best is good enough.

 We each have the potential, albeit it hard sometimes, to create better or different for ourselves. I am including part of this dreamers ‘awake’ situation, because it further identifies where her dream is trying to make her realize where her psyche has absorbed the roll of judged, judge and jury.  

Hi Sandy, The dream I had last night is very confusing but I will try my best to describe as it may have a powerful meaning.

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street . She looked angry and upset with me.

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing . She was driving and he was on the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back with my mom. When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird.

After that, Michele and I sat down waiting to be called. There was food on a table for those who wanted to snack on something. After waiting there for a bit, the woman who was staring at me the night before through the window, walked in the room, dressed as a judge. I then turned around and told Michele “She is the judge”!

The end!

If this were my dream…..

I dreamt that I was being accused of killing someone. I was at a lounge and when came out of the bathroom someone had died there and I was holding a bloody knife. There was another person who gave me that knife as I was exiting my stall and photographers caught me with the knife . It seems like it was a set up.

Dreams of killing someone is often a repressed need to release yourself from something or someone. A lounge signifies someplace where you need to go to rest and regroup, yet when you get there someone has died and you are holding the bloody knife. I think this implies that there is some part of yourself that needs to die to your past, and be released so you can regroup or renew. Blood is our life source energy, and a knife symbolizes something needs to be cut out that is diminishing our life source.

Someone else (another part of your psyche or consciousness), is giving you the knife to bring into your awareness what needs to be let go, because you are possibly not dealing with it. It feels like a ‘set up’ and it is from your Higher Self. You’re exiting your stall (bathroom I am assuming, where we go to ‘release’…and a photographer catches you. You inner ‘recorder of your own personal history’ is making sure you have this on record.

When I approached this wide window (Venice Style- wide and lengthy) of the building I was at, there was a brunette women who kept looking at me and from across the street. She looked angry and upset with me.

Windows often signify ‘doorways to the soul.’ It is large and wide, asking you to change your perspective. The brunette haired woman is looking at you. Woman usually represent the feminine qualities of nurturing and intuition, brown on the Medicine Wheel represents reorganizing what you know, and appraising where you need to change your concretized thoughts. This inner aspect of yourself, the one who wants you to feel nurtured and reorganize the truth of who you are, despite ‘the story’ you have lived thus far, is upset with you. 

I went downstairs, exited the building, and went home. You are ignoring where you need to nurture yourself more by releasing something of your past that no longer serves you. Next day, I had to go to ‘jail’ for a hearing. May I kindly suggest you might be holding yourself in jail by not changing something that you already know needs to shift. My friend Michelle, my brother Fabiano and my mom drove me to the hearing. I mention further down what Michelle and Fabiano mean, but it bears repeating here: Michelle means ‘gift from God’, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’, and mom is (or should be) our first and most primary nurture. So you need to listen to the ‘God’ in yourself, to plant new seeds that will nurture yourself.

My friend Michele did not stop flirting with my brother on the way to the hearing. The God within you is flirting with the new seeds you need to plant towards your future. She was driving (the God within each of us should always be the one driving our life, but we often allow the hurts, the fears, and the past to drive us, this is a good sign.) and he was on the passenger seat (yes, our new seeds are the passengers until we plant them, they are the un-manifested parts of ourselves.) I was sitting in the back with my mom. (Somehow you have taken a back seat to your own wants and needs, and mom sitting there is a reminder to nurture those pieces. You are not ‘driving’ your own life in a joyous, fulfilling way-not a criticism, merely something to look at.) When we got to this place where the hearing was going to take place, we were greeted by a woman who asked for my ID. (This signifies (the ID) defining who you are and who you want to be seen as.) She swiped my ID on a machine and looked at me weird. (Maybe because your ID, your true self, is presenting differently than your persona? She can see the real you, can you?)

Further info: Michelle – is friend who I opened up to about my life last Friday after I had an epiphany. I was working on a project for herb class and for a whole month I drank Linden tea; I honestly believe that tea made me feel more grounded, and even more sensitive to what I have been through these past 16 years in this country. She listened to me while I cried non stop at a bar 2 Friday’s back (#2 on the Medicine Wheel represents honoring yourself and bars represent social scenes, but places that we can go astray if we linger too long, or imbibe too much). I felt horrible because we were supposed to be there to have fun and I cried for half of the night, when telling her all I went through since I moved to the US. (Suffering is only good for the soul, if it teaches the soul how to not suffer again. It is not supposed to be a life long punishment. It is a challenge for us to grow, and one we choose to experience for said growth, if I might be so bold to add.) I had never told anyone in details all of that and I have no idea ( maybe the linden?) what prompted me to do that.

Michelle as a name means ‘gift from God’ and is a derivative of Michael.

I am struck that you have been using Linden tea. A few words about the Linden Tree, that you may or may not be aware of that might bring you further ‘epiphanies’ about this dream and your life in general.

  • Linden is good for colds, infections, and mucous-what needs to be released from within
  • It is used to calm anxiety and its scent is said to uplift
  • It was a sacred tree in Germany, Slovenia, where it was seen as a holy tree to repel bad luck and bring joy. And within the Iroquois nation,  it what used in their  tribal False Face Society. The False Face Society represented the spirits that influenced people. Someone who dreamed they were a member, and had it confirmed by another member, had to make a mask from the bark of the Linden without killing the tree. They taught others through wearing these masks how to heal the inner spirit and absorb the joy of life and nature which is endlessly all around us. 

Or maybe the bartender who worked with me 10 years ago at the Cheesecake Factory restaurant and was working, coincidently, at this bar we went to in Boston? The funny thing is that I recognized his face! I looked at him and said : I know you from somewhere. (He did not remember me) Have you worked at the Cheesecake Factory? He said, YES! Once I told him I had worked there as a hostess he remembered me.

Interesting your memory is so strong. My suggestion is this can work for and against you. He did not remember you. You remembered him. That’s an interesting balance that we all need to be aware of in ourselves. Maybe it is time to lay aside some of the memories of your past so you can let go, forgive yourself for how you chose to learn your lessons, and move on to what the evening was supposed to exemplify-happier times.

Fabiano – my brother who just moved back to the US from Hong Kong.

Your brothers long move, might be another reflection of your own need to move on, move forward, or move beyond your personal ‘burden basket.’ Said with much compassion, because I am aware that moving to another country with all that implies: good, bad and indifferent, takes a lot of courage. Ironically, Fabiano means ‘bean farmer’ and the soil needs to be tilled, fertilized, and new seeds planted for the bean to grow, plus the bean stalk grows high, reaching for the heavens or consciousness.  Plant new thoughts, and take a higher perspective of your life. Look carefully at all you have been through, what has helped you and what has not….and then find the worth in it, and you 🙂


When Lightening Strikes

Hello Dreamers,

I just returned from teaching in London at the Shamanic Lands conference with many a wonderful teacher, who I was very honored to share both teaching/speaking space with. My input was to lead the conference participants into the dreamtime on the first night, and then assist them to decode their dreams in an open forum, the second morning of the conference. On Monday I taught a sold out workshop using indigenous techniques to teach the group how to consider alternatives to decode the dreamtime.

One of the things I mentioned at the event, is that in the tradition of some of the indigenous Peoples with whom I have worked work, if you were struck by lightening and lived, you were automatically seen to have shamanic skills that were to be shared with the community. Essentially shamanic skills meant to open your perceptions, and also to learn what the soul needs to continue to grow in consciousness. And, when we dream of something, say a snake bite, in some traditions you were literally treated the next morning in your waking state for the snake bite. In other words the dream state will manifest the waking state you experience in some capacity. I offer these two observations due to the dream below.

Hi Sandy,

I do have a dream. I feel some of it is obvious but I still have a feeling I am missing something. I included my dream here, but if there is another place to post it please let me know.

It is night time and I am in a dark room laying in bed with my youngest son, who in my dream is a baby.

I would suggest this dream was taking you back in time to process some feelings or events, that you may not have been able to process fully as regards your past. I do not know the name of your son, but in session I would ask that. You state, “I am in the dark,” possibly referring to a time in your past that felt dark, maybe foreboding, or at least confusing. Besides the fact that your son was a baby and needed you, and because everything in the dream is also an aspect of ourselves, it could suggest that you were more naïve, or perhaps needed someone’s help to take care of a situation, in which you were not feeling nurtured or protected.

The bed is made so that our heads are at the end of the bed where I normally would have my feet, and not against the wall. Open and unprotected. I think there are more beds with my other children in the room too.

The place where you try to get some peace of mind (metaphorically the bed), is ‘topsy turvey.’ Something in your world has been turned upside down, and you are feeling unprotected (no wall to lean into as a boundary), and unsure how to protect your other children (“my other children were in the room”). Again, because everything in the dream is an aspect of self, it can also allude to the fact that that your ‘inner pantheon of helpers’, to which you turn to for clarity, didn’t offer you any answers as to what you should do either.

We are close to a window and there is thunder and lightening outside, and I am a little concerned about being struck, as I have been struck by lightening before. I move my son a little further away from the window.

Have you literally been struck in the waking world by lightening; or are you referring to knowing in the dream time that you have been struck before. I would give a bit of a different spin, depending on your answer. However, you are close to a window. Windows can suggest a view into the soul’s needs, a way out of a confined space, or changing your perceptions of a situation as you look at it a different way. You are afraid to be struck by lightening. Lightening in dreams can suggest a shock; something scorching that you didn’t anticipate; forces outside your control. It can also indicate that you suddenly have a knowing; something within you ‘lights up,’ and you understand what you need to do. Thunder is a sound, a loud sound from the heavens to be aware, to listen to your needs, to wake up to something from the outside, interfering and affecting something in your inner world. In one Native prayer, one part says, “We welcome the Thunder Beings, who bring the rains that cleanse and that heal.” So I could also suggest that whatever was being ‘shook up’ in your inner world, was occurring for a deeper healing.

I end up leaving the room with a friend, Dawn, and another women that I don’t know. We are going down some stairs and out a door and once outside I realize I can’t relax I keep seeing how the lightening is going to strike my son in the head thru the window. I have to go back to my little boy.

Interesting word play. You leave with your friend ‘Dawn.’ At dawn there is the potential for a new beginning, a new day coming, but it means you need to leave the house, possibly leave your home, or the place you have always called home.  There is much you still need to do to secure as sense of protection and peace of mind although you now know what direction you now need to go in.

I run back in and take him out of the bed and move to other part of room far away from the window. I see the lightening as it hits the window. It almost strikes my boy and it lights up part of the room. There is no sound just a small miniature like beam of lightening.

Although you are aware of this, you still have to bide your time for a bit, and go back inside (stay at the locale) to rescue both your children, and the parts of yourself (the life you were leading then) that have needed protection and now must choose to seek a new beginning elsewhere.

You try and move to a far away place to find comfort and safety, but you know in the process that there will still be repercussions (the lightening hits the window). It almost strikes your boy-possibly some or all of you children are affected by this decision you have to make, but “it lights up the room.” You KNOW what you need to do. The small miniature beam of lightening might suggest that the path will not be as obvious as you might want it to be initially, or as concretized as you need it to be to feel total safety, but there will be a beam that guides you forward and directs you. 

Throughout the whole dream I am filled with strong emotions. I was feeling love, anxiety, fear and had a sense of knowing that I at first was trying to deny but eventually choose to listen to.

I would suggest that this involved the choice you had to make way back when, that there was fear and anxiety, but also love and a knowing for yourself and those you cared for, that you couldn’t deny.

If you had brought this into session, I might also ask, what in your current life is mirroring or mimicking the upheaval that you felt in your past. What are you sensing you might need to leave behind? What ah ha moments (lightening) might you be experiencing where you may be accepting or diminishing your own light? This might not apply at all, possibly you were just processing the old….but we go in cycles, so dreaming of something from our past circumstances, might also be trying to bring light to a current situation in the now.

Thank you for sharing.

Dreams with Dreams

Cobb: “You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream and fill it with their subconscious.”

Ariadne: “How can I ever acquire enough detail to make them think it is a reality?”

Cobb: “Well dreams they feel real while we’re in them right? It’s only when we wake up that we realize that something was actually strange.”                                                               (From the movie Inception, a great movie about the dreamtime if you have never watched it.)

Hello Dreamers,

In typical fashion another month of travel and teaching is coming to an end with no blog post. It appears (although the ‘blog maesters’ say to do two a month), that I am destined to currently only squeak in one a month, and I need not to fret and just be grateful for that.

So today’s dream decoding is from someone I know. You will see somethings referenced specifically to what I know she was going through. Specific names she used will be obscured for anonymity.  These are typical of the dream sessions I have with clients, using their dreams to decode and bring clarity, to what they are balancing or trying to deal with in a life situation.

Her dream was a series of dreams within dreams. These types of dreams are an interesting way for your subconscious to change both time and context to get your attention. They can be disconcerting because you often think you have woken up, only to find yourself in another dream segue being bombarded by similar information or symbols. It not only is meant to stretched the dreamers original thoughts on something, but from another view point it might be a diversion to mirror the way one is diverting themselves from looking at something in their waking life. So is this a matter of gaining perception/perspective on a vital issue you must confront and not ignore; or are you compartmentalizing something instead of giving it your full attention? Sometimes these types of dreams can seem so real, that when you add a component of fear, the dreamer awakes very confused, disoriented, and often in a panic.

The dream:

Hello my dear Sandy! I hope you are well and your day is going smoothly so far. I really appreciate you squeezing me into your busy day but this one really knocked me on my ass. When your higher self is trying to get your attention, it sends nightmares or scary segues of a dream to “wake you up.” It’s not that something bad will happen, it’s just that your dreamscape is trying to caution you about something in your outer world that you are either not paying attention to, or perhaps need to awaken to.

So from what I can piece together is that I was trapped by some evil force in a perpetual dream state. Gram Twylah used to call these a ‘dream within a dream’. They often seem so repetitive and out of our control, that they grab our attention to follow a theme. So what in your current life are you not paying attention to. Not because you are unconscious or unaware, but simply because you have too much going on and no time to center yourself? Well the wedding would do that. Not that you are not supposed to get married, but possibly you are supposed to be slowing things down so you can “smell the roses.” It’s over way too fast and the pomp and circumstance leading up to it can often pull us off center. So breath, work out, do yoga, take a walk, maybe meditate; your Higher self is trying to slow your waking self, down a bit.

I am forced there as some form of torture, but I don’t know for what crime I was being punished. When we realize we don’t “know something in the dream” it’s because we are not listening to ourselves, and that is “the crime.” And it becomes torturous to repeat patterns that don’t serve us, because they keep us in a perpetual state of looking our instead of looking in.
At one point I was on a train, literally on top. Trains in dreams suggest that we are on “the right track,” that we are moving forward. Being on top of the train, indicates you are trying to stay on-top of things as they all move around you. Jung also suggested ‘train dreams’ often meant that the dreamer is not finding their own way forward in some aspect of their current life and/or possibly has chosen a conforming route for the sake of others. He also suggested that sometimes motion dreams sometimes could be a disguise for wish fulfillments around sexual needs. So my question to you, in bringing this into session would be: Are you feeling that some part of your wedding is out of your hands/control and that you are trying to please everyone else with some of the choices and decisions? And in this build up to the wedding, have you and (XXXX) continued to take time for just the two of you, to insure that what brought you to this place to begin with, is still being nurtured. Maybe it has been hard to just get some peaceful intimate times alone with everything going on?

and I asked someone I knew for help (I don’t remember who exactly it was, but I remember feeling like I could ask this person for help to get me out) There are people who can help you, but you have to ask… but also know who is not who they appeared to be; in other words be discerning about who you ask. As one or two may have other motives beyond what you are asking for; not everyone who claims they are there to help may well have other motives for their own means. If this were my dream, I would look to family. Who is authentically there for me, and who is not. I know your family has a lot of power plays amongst themselves, and you may be tricked into thinking they are offering something out of their love for you, where instead it is a play for power over. Think uncle, grandmother, maybe even how you are tricking yourself, etc. but a creation of my captors tricked me into thinking I was able to find a way out. There is always a way out when we don’t conform to well, conformity 🙂
I was tricked into multiple “waking” scenarios, There are multiple things going on in your life, where again (no judgement) your wedding might be being used as a power play amongst other family members. Make it your own, be true to yourself & (XXX), and turn to your mom, she is there for you. You will have multiple cues and clues so that you don’t stay entrapped in a dynamic that serves no one.

where I was tricked into thinking that I was awake but I was still trapped. I kept trying to fight my way out and eventually started striking out in any way I could. I knew that I was dreaming and for some reason I thought if there was pain it would knock me out of itThis is the dream self, the subconscious trying to bring all this to the surface for your consideration. Pain, like a bad dream is merely to bring our attention to something that needs healing, or possibly for us to stop and consider the way you are going about it. What pain are you in with this new way of life? Who are you striking out at? Why do you welcome pain as a way out?
Here’s where the fun starts
Eventually I was in a place where I had one heavy restraint on each wrist, holding me down, Restraints on our wrists is someone trying to over-power us or gain dominion over us. They are also on lung/heart lines in acupuncture and denote you need to breath, relax, and stay centered in your heart and I started flipping rolling to the left and right from side to side, striking at whatever I thought was holding me down. This is your fear that no matter which way you turn, you might disappoint someone, so you take the pain on yourself, to no avail and don’t make the decision you need for yourself.
Eventually I realized that the thing in my right hand was a baby’s forearm. The right hand is about taking our power with grace, a baby’s forearm could mean that since you were a baby, the family has fought over you. but it was soft and pliable, like a plastic doll’s arm (cabbage patch size). And maybe even though you have been aware of this fact, for your own reasons you have been soft and pliable to their power plays? [side bar, in this scenario it does not mean you are pregnant, nor that you would be mean to your baby….this is being done to you.]
Once I realized that I was indeed beating a baby in order to free myself, and felt the horror of what I was doing, that’s when I woke up, gasping for breath. One possibility is that you have been beating yourself up since you were little about keeping everyone in the family happy. Now you need to make some calls on your own and take a stand for yourself. You are also astrologically just coming out of your Saturn return and getting married. You are no longer a child after this transit, you now step into adulthood with all your own wants and needs. And although you will always be someone’s daughter, grand-daughter, niece, etc. You are now your own adult, and your dreaming self wants you to stop beating up on yourself.

Of course when I woke up in my own bed, I thought I was still in the dream world, and I was terrified that I would never be able to tell the difference again. You were coming out of a hypnogogic dream stage…..and my teachers have always asked, which is more real, the dreamstate or the waking state? 🙂 something to ponder. Who is directing whom? In the dream body we have a much vaster sense of self and options that we don’t take in waking life can be considered in our dream state, because we are not bound by time or space.
I called out for (XXXX), who was sleeping on the couch. He came in, and held me as I started to catch my breath, and then I began to sob uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. That is a somatic-emotional release, and all very normal for the ‘fear and flight’ response of the reptilian part of the brain. Horrified at what I had done and terrified that I was still trapped. Look to where you might be feeling trapped or something seems out of your control, in your waking state.

(XXXX) kept telling me that it was okay and it was a dream. Once I was able to get my breath I was able to tell him that I actually thought that any minute he could turn away, turn back and have some demon face. Eventually I was able to calm down enough to stop crying, but I still couldn’t sleep for almost an hour. Thinking he would mirror a demon face back to you, I would have to ask where you ignore your own inner demons. We often project that onto our partners, and that is a slippery slope.

Here’s what I think I have so far. Starting a new chapter of my life which includes marriage, I think I’m feeling the fear that once I’m married a huge amount of my independence will be gone, and I won’t enjoy the liberties I do now, which is certainly not true. But that’s what I think I got out of that. Counter-intuitively, I think you will be more independent, and the captain of your own ship. As a couple you two will make your own decisions, not the family, which you need to complete this wedding….and grateful you have another captain on board (XXXX), who will help steer it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. You both just have to remember that if only one steers the ship, we get tired (of our self, each other, and life), so sharing, honest communication, love & self-love, forgiveness when one’s been at the helm too long, and finding that integration point again, is what it is all about. 🙂
I look forward to talking to you tonight! If you have more questions after this, feel free to ask….and have a blessed wedding.


My Dream/s

I will be decoding 2 dreams today, one for the time lost in April, and the second to celebrate the first day of May.

First Dream:

So had a dream this morning before I woke …. I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around. We were outside talking at one point and then I am alone. I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color. I thought: This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

Suggestions: I will be making suggestions simply from emotional impact

I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around.

This suggests that you are trying to learn something, or feel you haven’t learned something well enough. Institutional would suggest a rigid form of needing to learn, or having learned something.  The fact that it was open, with others around, may suggest you are open to learning new concepts around an old rigid form, or experience. 

I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color.

You look up-you are willing to look at this situation from a higher perspective. There is a chair with a parachute and the color is green. The chair recommends that you sit down and contemplate a situation, and the parachute indicates that you are ready to bail from how you are currently thinking about something. If this rigid thinking around an area in your life is holding you back, the parachute also suggests that you will land safely, should you confront this belief within yourself. It is green in color. This can imply a couple of things. This belief you have might have been ingrained in childhood; or you need to use right will, not willfulness, to deconstruct this old out-worn pattern, to enable you to construct a new, more fruitful way of looking at and experiencing your life. 

This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂

This in may ways is a second reminder that rigidity will not serve. Jeeps generally indicate that you need to take more action, move your body more, have more fun and be able to cover many ‘terrains’ to do that. However, this is an army jeep, and the army signifies rules, rigidity, and a discipline that can diminish fun. Question: Where in your life are you too rigid with yourself, or perhaps do not move outside your self-imposed confines or definitions, essentially making you keep repeating what you wish to change? I ask because you are being too ‘passive’ about  looking at where you can change what you don’t like about your life situation.

Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

Now your dream (your subconscious) has your attention. As if to underscore the situation, the dream starts to hurl many jeeps and parts into your dreamscape. The jeeps and all the parts represent that which can assist you to find the answers you seek, when you break down the rigidity you use to stay passive to your situation by not taking action to bring change. You are not threatened because all the changes are in your own hands. But what will you do to promote the changes you seek?

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

There is no sound. You are not listening to yourself. All visual. You see what it is you need to change, but are you? There is no blowing up or crashing. This doesn’t have to be difficult or painful. And you had the exact dream a few weeks back. Your subconscious is trying to motivate you to take action and move forward, while this is still under yours own volition and control. 


Second Dream: I will be making suggestions simply from the symbology

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything. I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside. I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back. I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything.

I would suggest that you feel you have missed out on something in your life, and it has to do with trust, and the ability to speak out about your needs. When you try and apply what you know to make changes or move forward, you don’t recognize what you need to do to resolve the confusion that brings up for you. I assume you are talking about a train here. Trains have to do with conformity, and conformity often has to do with adhering to what others say and think. However trains are also about moving forward (and sometimes backwards), as they have the ability to do both.

I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seen to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside.

You try and go deep into your past or your psyche, working on yourself to see if you can find the way to change what you feel within, but you can’t seem to find a way inside yourself to get the information, or the self-trust you seek. So you attempt to go ‘outside yourself’ to try and find the answers to what you are feeling inside yourself.

I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back.

You ask the under-developed ‘protective’ side of yourself (the young boys) where you are at. They tell you clearly that you have to get in touch with your anger, your ‘wrath’ around something. You have never heard of it, so chances are you have never authentically experienced it. You ask them to repeat the word because you are puzzled, and again they tell you that to resolve where you are trying to go, that first you have to touch your anger. Question/s: How do you express anger? How do you feel about authentically feeling angry? What are you angry at that still doesn’t feel resolved? Does feeling puzzled allow you to ignore anger and not tap the emotions that would actually help you move down “the line?”

I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

You have a sense of ‘hearing’ (possibly from your self or others) what it may take for you to move forward, but it is not going in the direction you want to experience. Because you have labeled “trusting yourself and speaking your needs” as the “wrong direction” to take, it may also suggest that not feeling the depths of your anger, has not actually served you in your quest to trust self and communicate openly and confidently with others.

The silver train is going in the way you would like to experience, but again it is all blocked off on the lower levels. The ‘lower levels’ again represent what lies deep within your subconscious or psyche; and as yet, you haven’t been able to find your answers there. The color silver, as I have been taught in many traditions, has to do with the Moon, aspects of one’s femininity, the throat chakra, speaking up, intuition, and the protective energy that aligns peace and/or resolve around an issue.

Even if you currently do not feel clear as to how you will tap the emotion of anger, the aspects represented by the ‘silver train’ that you admittedly would like to experience, are representative of the strength and protection you will gain moving forward. To feel the ‘silver’ (all those feminine expressions that you wish to trust in yourself), and to bring balance both internally and externally into your life, will not be diminished or taken away if you authentically come to grips with anger, those attributes will only expand.