Who am I Saving? She or Me?

As I have said many times in these dream blogs—dreams imply everything they do symbolically, as well as representing something of ourselves, as that symbol. Example, the little girl is someone outside this dreamer, as well as the ‘little girl’ within the dreamer’s Self. Without divulging too much background, this dreamer is an adoptive parent. I think that is highly important for this dream’s synopsis. If I did not know that, I would still have asked this dreamer what her experience was with children due to the content of the dream. The one thing I do not get to do when decoding dreams on this blog, as opposed to having a detailed dream session with someone, is asking them specific questions that could take the meaning in an alternative direction, or provide deeper analysis.

I have an inkling that this dream also expands beyond the current ‘time frame’ of what’s happening in the dreamer’s life; beyond the current situation she is experiencing, or possibly giving her a warning about the future. Because I know so much about this dreamer’s situation, I see this dream as very specific to what’s happening in her life around adoption.

In indigenous traditions, they view ‘time’ very differently than our culture. We tend to observe time as past, present and future—as a ‘timeline’. In the indigenous cultures they see time as a steady stream happening concurrently from their observation within the Now—from the center of the ‘circle of life’. Hence time is an empirical phenomenon that arises from some underlying notion we have yet to fully define, and which can be observed in many ways. This is where the dream takes us beyond time, and can supply information from the ‘center of all knowing’ to give us a view into what we perceive of as the future. Are we actually creating Then and our observation of what we will encounter in the future, through the Now of the dreaming self?

Hi, I had this dream and it stayed with me this morning so I wanted to put it in your lottery for dreams and see what it may mean.  

I am with a woman who is waiting for her daughter.  She is very upset but I don’t really know why. I just know that things feel off to me.  A lot of people come and go at the beginning of the dream from a house we are in, but I think it is more of an office.  One guy leaves and is supposed to come back and he never comes back.  We are then at a staircase and waiting for the little girl to be brought to us by someone.  We are waiting for a really long time and finally the woman goes to look for the little girl.  I turn around and see 3 wolves coming out of what looks like a fire but it’s not, it’s like a portal coming from the woods and as I watch I find it to be interesting that the lead wolf waits until all wolves are out of the portal and that then the portal shuts.  He doesn’t look at me and I have a feeling that he sees me but just isn’t worried about me.  I turn and hear the mother talking loud and clearly upset.  I am standing at the bottom of the staircase and turned to my right and saw that the fireplace had the same type of fire portal engulfing it.  I look back at the staircase and there is a big man sitting on it with the little girl and he is saying “She has to go! She has to go!!” He has a needle and he is getting ready to put it in her belly but closer to her chest. The mom is behind him crying.  I take in the situation.  I look at him and in my dream I realize – I have to get this girl away from him.  I take her feet and slide her off of him.  He starts yelling “She has to go! You have no idea what you are doing! You are ruining it!” I start running with the little girl.

Then I woke up and my heart was pounding and I was scared.  

I am with a woman who is waiting for her daughter.  She is very upset but I don’t really know why. I just know that things feel off to me. If this were my dream I would suggest that the woman (the dreamer) is waiting for “her daughter”, a child. She is upset and it feels ‘off’ to the dreamer. I think the dreamer may have an underlying doubt and is upset that she might not be able to keep the child once she receives it. Something off, could suggest that because of the adoption agency she is working with, that the biological parent’s rights will take precedence over hers as the adoptive parent. So, both the woman in the dram, and the dreamer feel that level of upset.

A lot of people come and go at the beginning of the dream from a house we are in, but I think it is more of an office.  One guy leaves and is supposed to come back and he never comes back.  Alot of people come and go at the beginning of the dream. Alot of children have come and gone, alot of promises are made, but the children delivered never stay, they end up going. One ‘guy’ (boy) leaves and is supposed to come back, but he doesn’t. I would gather that children have come to her, and just as quickly have been taken from her, never to come back. Possibly this dream happened  after one such incident.

We are waiting for a really long time and finally the woman goes to look for the little girl.  I turn around and see 3 wolves coming out of what looks like a fire but it’s not, it’s like a portal coming from the woods and as I watch I find it to be interesting that the lead wolf waits until all wolves are out of the portal and that then the portal shuts.  He doesn’t look at me and I have a feeling that he sees me but just isn’t worried about me. Finally, after waiting for a really long time—the adoption process can take years, and the biological parental rights can continue to be stretched out, despite incarceration, drug addiction, missing parents, etc. This adoptive mom has waited for the little girl she and her husband have cared for and nurtured for almost two years to be legally theirs. I am sure that has alot to do with the worried content of this dream, it shows her concern/fears and her need to have this resolved.

The little girl is also the ‘lead’ child to have come to them; and the only one thus far who has stayed, despite many ins and outs. I’m going out on a limb here, but possibly there are two more children who will come to these adoptive parents, and stay (represented by the wolves). And then the portal will shut and the family will be complete.

Dreaming of wolves, depends on what you are facing within your life experience as to  their meaning. Wolves are instinctual, they exist in packs and extended families. They often mean you have to face a fear within yourself about something. How do you control that fear and face your doubts? Wolves are also highly intelligent and intuitive. They know how to get in and out of situations, they can track the issue (or animal, situation, scenario of danger) and find a way through.

The dreamer sees them coming from fire or a portal, and there are three of them. There also seems to be a ‘head wolf’ that is not concerned with her presence. Going back to what I suggested above, the little girl (first child that came to them and has not been removed), is not concerned as she knows she will instinctually stay with this family.  That is  message to this dreamer. Three is the number of magic, change and metamorphosis. To me it promises good luck in this adoptive process. The fire represents the dreamer’s passion for bringing this adoption to fruition, and the portal represents a gateway or link to making this little girl their daughter.

I turn and hear the mother talking loud and clearly upset.  I am standing at the bottom of the staircase and turned to my right and saw that the fireplace had the same type of fire portal engulfing it.  I look back at the staircase and there is a big man sitting on it with the little girl and he is saying “She has to go! She has to go!!” He has a needle and he is getting ready to put it in her belly but closer to her chest. The mom is behind him crying.

Both the mother in the dream, and the adoptive mother are upset by all that is happening. The dreamer is at the bottom of a staircase. A staircase, especially standing at the bottom, can signify both confusion on how to hold the circumstances at a higher level of consciousness, and suggests that there have been alot of hurdles to climb. Staircases going up, also imply that you are ready to face your subconscious fears. The fireplace and portal situation again as a symbol represents that there is another situation, possibly in the near future, that will provide a link to more children, or the other two wolves that have not fully appeared in this dreamer’s family life yet. I say that with alot of caution, but I do believe a repetition of a symbol in the same dream is an opportunity for a repeat performance of something relayed earlier. In this case it brings to mind the first portal shown when three wolves came through. Because there is a fire burning, it implies warmth and a fulfillment of one’s desires or needs.

A large man holding a needle in a dream can suggest difficulties and trials ahead. The man represents concerns. The needle can suggest a pointedly intrusive situation. There might be something else that comes up with the current child, or a future child and this is a warning. My first reaction, which I often trust and have been instructed always to pay attention to when decoding, is that the future child this dreamer may receive might have almost been aborted. That’s why the needle is at the belly, and the man is shouting “She has to go.” It could also account for why the mother in the dream is crying, as she either thought the man would agree to keep the child, or perhaps doesn’t wish to abort the child, even  if she needs to give it up for adoption. In this day and age, it can also represent that the father may be a drug addict, and not want to deal with a pregnancy. Most of the children that have come through this dreamer’s door have also had that be a fact in their pregnancy background.

I take in the situation.  I look at him and in my dream I realize – I have to get this girl away from him.  I take her feet and slide her off of him.  He starts yelling “She has to go! You have no idea what you are doing! You are ruining it!” I start running with the little girl.

Whether in the dream, in the ethers, across time/space, it is quite possible that this action of the dreamer in the dreamstate quite literally saves this child’s life (whether in utero or already here), and brings her to this family eventually. Be that a new child, or even overcoming a new obstacle with the present child she is working to adopt.  I am struck by her pulling the child feet first off the man and running with her. Feet represent stability, foundation, and how we walk upon the earth. In that sense the dreamer will bring the children who come to her, stability and a strong foundation of safety, love and nurturing.  And, feet represent the ability to move forward in life, something I pray for, for this dreamer and the children that come to she and her husband.



Getting to the ‘Heart’ of the Matter

Here is the dream that I had the other night:   

I was standing in back of a man I did not know.  I told him I was going to perform open heart surgery on him and not to be afraid that I’d be quick and just stay with it.  I was a bit to his right.  I inserted my bare left hand directly into the middle part of his back, pushing down.  He winced in pain but I told him it was OK.  Then I went a bit further where he winced again and the third time I went deeper I was able to pull his heart out which I held in my hand for a moment before transferring it to my right hand.  I noticed that it was a very big heart.  I placed it into a receptacle to my right and that was the end of the dream.  But the phrase “Open heart surgery” was repeated.

Hope this is useful Sandy.  (I still really don’t have a clue what this one was about).

Dream content of course, can mean many things to different people as well as to each of us individually on any given day. The revelations or confusion, depends on one’s past and current life situation, as well as their existing emotions and cultural backgrounds. My mentors told me dreams are like holograms and can/should be looked at from many alternatives and perspectives.

If dreams can, and do, mean more than just one thing at any given time, then they offer us many ways to understand ourselves. Our first impressions of the dream are important but we can travel back into our dreams (if journaling), to discover further meanings, at future times. That implies that none of the explanations or interpretations you assess to a dream sequence are wrong, merely another consideration of the data provided.

Because dreams arise from the pool of our unconscious or subconscious ‘knowing,’ the symbology, emotional overtones, and cadence of our dreams, try to grab our attention for a brief window of ‘time’ in an effort to try to get as much lucidity as possible up to our conscious awareness during each dreamscape storyline.

One of my mentors, Grandmother Twylah Nitsch, even went so far as to suggest that dreams are merely a continuation of each dream experienced, remembered or not, by our individuation and held within the collective, for bringing discovery and meaning throughout our entire Earthwalk, by providing a connection to Source. That’s a big thought.

The Dream:

I was standing in back of a man I did not know.  I told him I was going to perform open heart surgery on him and not to be afraid that I’d be quick and just stay with it. I was a bit to his right. 

If this were my dream, I would suggest that the heart is a common symbol for love and emotional balance. It can also show you where you may be carrying hidden worries or concerns. Surgery often suggests that something is either infected thus causing you harm, or not beneficial to your needs anymore.

She is standing, “behind” the man, and it is someone she doesn’t know. I could read this two ways. The ‘man’ could be an aspect of her soul’s polar opposite—her logic, discipline, free will OR it could be a part of herself she doesn’t know very well yet. Because everything in a dream is both what it is, and a representation of the dreamer, this man is also her.

She is going to perform open heart surgery on this man, or this aspect of herself. Dreaming of surgery implies we feel vulnerable to something, but she is opening up this aspect of herself to an emotional healing. This is a brave thing to do. She wants it to be quick and easy, showing she is both prepared and ready to allow this aspect or awareness of herself to emerge.

She is standing to his right. The right side of the body corresponds to the left brain activities; each side of the brain having different functions. Although this is a simplistic explanation, the left brain function is responsible for language, processing, carrying out logic and mathematical computations…the left brain also pulls from our memory. So now a wider story opens for the dreamer.  This dream is trying to help her to comprehend something about her past that she may/may not have brought to closure, or might be re-experiencing similarly now. What part of her memory about a man, or how she views herself, does she need to release from?

I inserted my bare left hand directly into the middle part of his back, pushing down.  He winced in pain but I told him it was OK.  Then I went a bit further where he winced again and the third time I went deeper I was able to pull his heart out…

She inserts her bare left hand (right brain function) directly into the middle of his back, pushing down—The right brain helps us to comprehend imagery, facial recognition and to make sense of what we see. She wants to see this for what it is. Pushing down implies going deeper into herself, or this aspect of herself that she is either trying to open to by eliminating feelings that no longer serve, or release a past memory that likewise might not serve. The hand is ‘bare’, she wants to ‘bare all’ so she can expose and clearly see how this emotion or memory is affecting her.

This part of her (or the memory of someone) winces in the process of release, release is not easy. But she goes further, deeper, honestly within. The fact that ‘he’ is wincing and not crying out in pain suggests this will not be as painful as she might have imagined, in fact as she stated earlier, it can be quick and easy. She does this 3x’s. Three is the number of change and transformation.

She pulls out the heart of the matter, even if consciously when she wakes up she doesn’t understand the dream, the mere fact she pulls it out into consciousness, exposing it, suggests that she will come to whatever IT is for her.

….which I held in my hand for a moment before transferring it to my right hand.  I noticed that it was a very big heart.  I placed it into a receptacle to my right and that was the end of the dream.  But the phrase “Open heart surgery” was repeated.

She then transfers the heart (emotions, self-love, forgiveness) to her other hand, creating a balance and equilibrium to what needs to be assessed. It is a big heart, signifying this dreamer is a big hearted person. I know her, she is.

She puts it in a receptacle so she can deal with it, as the “ah ha’s” arise. She doesn’t place it back in the cavity of the person/past, she places it in a container. Whatever conflict she might have been feeling about a person or situation or herself, she is willing to address and change the circumstances. The human heart also represents awareness. So she is bringing in awareness to herself.

Aside: Again, because dreams mean more than one thing, and because her words at the end were so strong to her….someone she knows, but maybe not well, may need open heart surgery within the year. We are attached to the collective through the dreamtime, so other information comes into what we assume are our personal dreams, which have been pulled from the collective unconscious. And, because we are all connected to Source as One, this symbolic overlay applies as well.

A Fox Healing

Sometimes when we have dreams, there is a physical manifestation, or synchronicity that occurs in our waking life that corresponds to, or answers some aspect of the dream. Gram Twylah always instructed me to watch what happened in my waking world after a dream, to see if “the Mystery” would provide more information or details towards revealing the dreams meaning.

Gram shared that the ancestors believed, “That Great Mystery offered the gift of the dreamtime to every creation, as a gift of peace.” It was believed that the dreamtime was a “beginning that never ended,” and although there were many ways to look at a dream, [spiritually, psychologically, physically, emotionally, dimensionally, etc.], the dream gift throughout most indigenous cultural teachings is to witness one’s self through different aspects of consciousness, to advance consciousness.

The following dream was submitted by a client, who I assisted in dealing with some of her recent issues around a betrayal and break up with her partner of many years. I thought this dream was a very direct indicator of the work she has done to heal and recognize her worth.

I am in a big blue convertible, sort of an old fashion 50’s type of car. There is a dark-haired man sitting next to me. He puts his hand on my chest and says, “The hurt and pain caused a hole here, and it must be healed.” Then he looks pleased and says, “No, you appear to have fixed it, but there’s still a small healing that needs to take place right here.” He touches my heart again. I am clear he is touching my heart and not my breasts, there is nothing sexual in his gesture. He starts ‘pulling’ with his breathe, and I can feel something leaving my body, and immediately wake up.

Later driving to work, in waking time, I see a dead brown fox on the side of the road, and it triggers the dream sensation.


I am in a big blue convertible, sort of an old fashion 50’s type of car.  Cars in dreams can symbolize the body or how you are moving forward in life. The 50’stype car suggests time spent (possibly in her relationship). Blue on the Cycles of Truth wisdom wheels represents the place where we need to trust our intuition, and encourage or teach others to use theirs. Almost like the concept of ayni, or reciprocity in the Andean Mystical Tradition.

It also implies the difference one needs to learn between service and servitude. We often get confused, especially in relationships, in thinking we are doing something in service for another’s wellbeing—like trying to love them so they’ll love us, fix it for them, or control their happiness for the sake of our own happiness. We don’t realize this is a form of enabling at best, control at it’s worst because of a fear we hold inside our self. We are infact incurring more karma that we will need to release down the road, or with this person in future lifetimes. True service is holding the space so another can find their ‘wholeness,” and supporting them without expectation, without doing it for them, or without being taken down by their needs in lieu of your own.

That she is driving the car symbolizes she can navigate life for herself freely now. That the car is a convertible, implies that she is open to moving forward and not letting anything stand in the way of enjoying life again.

There is a dark-haired man sitting next to me. He puts his hand on my chest and says, “The hurt and pain caused a hole here, and it must be healed.”

It is true this woman experienced a deep heart wound through betrayal from a partner, but her stability and renewed happiness can only come when she first forgives herself for having to learn that lesson, and then her partner for being the “actor on her stage.” It is less important how he learns the lesson, though that would be a benefit, and more important that she comes back into balance in her heart. 

I see the dark-haired man as being a guide, a higher or more conscious part of herself. And that he is ‘male’ in her dream, signifies that she can trust in the opposite sex again.

Then he looks pleased and says, “No, you appear to have fixed it, but there’s still a small healing that needs to take place right here.” He touches my heart again. I am clear he is touching my heart and not my breasts, there is nothing sexual in his gesture.

This guide, or divine male aspect of herself, is telling her very clearly that she has done the work she needed to do to heal herself. She has changed her story from one of victim, to being more conscious of what she needs to do to re-empower herself as she moves forward with the next heart connection she chooses for herself. She is also clear that she is not being taken advantage of, “there is nothing sexual in his gesture.” She is clear on this even in the dream, not from a charged place of sexuality, but from a clear place of the healing she has accomplished.

As a side note: This reminded me of something that used to occur with balanced, indigenous teachers of integrity on the reservation, or in workshops. When you would ask for a teaching, you would swear they were looking at your breasts. As a woman this initially offended me. When I spoke about it with Gram, she laughed and said, “They are looking at your heart, and the energy you hold there, to make sure your request is of good intention.” Perceptions and projections, we loose alot when we look through fearful lenses.

He starts ‘pulling’ with his breathe, and I can feel something leaving my body, and immediately wake up.

Many traditions have exercises to heal with the breath. Breathing deeply and rhythmically can be a great catalyst for bringing awareness and resonance to the physical. Things manifest in the etheric well before they come into form, and the breath is the connection to our life source energy, chi, prana, etc. and these exercises can release the block in the physical that has manifested. As life source energy, when we nolonger have breath, we nolonger have life. 

Breathing exercise have been proven to reduce stress, re-center one’s self, influence mental clarity, and can promote deep healing. Stanislav Groff’s method of Holotropic Breathwork is an amazing approach, practiced in many arenas, for self-exploration, healing, and discovering personal insights. In shamanic traditions, the breath is often used to suck discordant energies, illness, or entities from the light-body which in turn has a positive effect on the physical body.

Later driving to work, in waking time, I see a dead brown fox on the side of the road, and it triggers the dream release sensation.

According to the traditional teachings Gram Twy’s shared, brown on the Wisdom Wheel was learning how to “know your truth.” It meant organizing your thoughts and actions in a way that brought you closer to building a firmer foundation in which to grow the Self. It required flexibility and the willingness to keep on learning, even when we thought we had it right.

Fox represented a ‘four legged’ that was cunning and sly in his approach. They are seen as ingenuous, enterprising, and playful. Some tribes saw fox as representing a rival, or enemy; someone who was cunning and had penetrated the family or community.

If this were my dream, I would take the visual encounter of the dead fox as showing me that the person who represented the energy of deceit as my ex-partner, had no more hold over me. The truth was known, the discordant energy nolonger was part of what controlled my life, and I had learned (through the representation of the brown color) my own truth in the interplay of the relationship. I would now be ready to organize the future a different future with a partner if I wanted.


Alarms and Wake Up Calls!

I chose this dream this month because it is both short and in it’s symbology and content it is consistently trying to get the same information across to the reader in a multitude of different ways. Sometimes our unconscious wants to make it so clear that it uses repeated cues to get across to our waking self the same point.

My daughter was with me at work. Not where I work now. It was a library on the ground level with glass walls lining the parking lot.

The daughter in the dream represents both the dreamer’s daughter, and the younger aspect of the dreamer’s Self when she was about this same age. They are together trying to “work something out” that is not current, but from the past. She is still on the ground floor of dealing with this issue.

They are in a library. there is lots of information in a library, and lots of ways “to read things.” Libraries represent knowledge and wisdom that you have gained, or need to research further, for information to feel successfully figured out, or perhaps known to you.

Walls indicated you feel limited about something, or there is a perceived obstacle in your path. Glass walls give you the clarity to see very clearly what that might involve. It is a parking lot, suggesting that you stopped moving forward at some point (parked car). Cars also mirror the physical body, so possibly you feel that when you were close to your daughters age something stunted you emotionally, or physically, and you are trying to disengage or undo what you learned, as it no longer serves your higher wisdom.

I forgot my purse and did not have my keys to get her home.

You don’t know where to find keys “to get her home.”  Loosing keys in dreams is a fear of loosing control, not being responsible, or fearing a secret of the past might come out. In dreams to carry a purse, is to carry your clutter or your secrets. To loose or misplace your purse suggests that you feel like you have lost power or your self-identity.

So, I opened the door to the book depository and climbed through thinking “I will be quick.”

You take the risk to look for an out, but you cannot deal with these emotions quickly; and it will be impossible to leave the facts (represented by the books/library) behind. It will take your full attention to find where the impact from those years still affects your emotions or behavior.

But no, I heard sirens. The next thing I knew there were 5 police cars driving by before I could get my purse. I tried to explain that I worked there and needed my keys to get my daughter home. My alarm goes off

Sirens and alarms are wake up calls. Your super conscious self is asking you to pay attention to this dream. It can lead you to understand parts of yourself, your emotions, your impulses, and where you may have given your power away, or perhaps had it taken away.

5 on the Wisdom Wheels is about listening to yourself, which like the library can supply you with alot of information. Police in a dream is a forewarning not to participate in unacceptable behavior or side-step the rules. A police car therefore suggests strong motivation to take a spiritual direction where you can listen to yourself, and undo something that was not morally right from the past, by listening to the Higher Self to find your truth and live your truth.

I a sense you are asking for help by telling them you can’t find your keys and admitting that something from your past needs to be resolved to feel completely ‘at home’ within yourself. And then your morning alarm goes off to bring it all into the waking state for you to remember and work on as you see fit.

Taking your daughter home, is taking yourself home.

Does Reality Mimic the Dream, or does the Dream Mimic Reality?

When dealing with dreams it is important to remember a few things. For all of us, the dreamer is the one who has created the dream symbology, and so it is an important clue to them, both in context and how it is framed within the dream. Why are you dreaming of these particular symbols? And what do they have to do with what your life has, or is experiencing? What is your dream body trying to impart to you? It is also imperative that one looks beyond the dream, as it is not always about the specific dream symbols, those are simply ‘bread crumbs’ to a deeper inner knowing that is trying to come to light.

Last night, I dreamed that the barn I grew up in was burning to the ground. 

Barns are associated with real life settings. They are where you store things, work, build things, possibly cultivate things, and clean up the muck. Burning and fire can imply many things in dreams. It can mean passion, or the need for it. It can mean something all-consuming in your life. It can mean something within you needs that needs to be recognized to be completely transformed. In relation to the barn, it can mean the hard work you are doing needs a new outlet. It can also mean there is emotional conflict or unresolved anger at what the barn represents to you personally.

There was an old section and new section to the barn (kind of in an L shape).  I was running around telling people to get out and was trying to get a hold of the fire department. 

There is an old way of feeling, and new way of being with your past and/or your work. L shape means at right angles, there is a significant change now in either your work or how you feel about a family situation. You are running trying to get people to leave and call the fire department. The fire department symbolizes the part of yourself that can “answer the call,” and take care of what needs to be done.

This is trying to find balance between being in control, and finding the assistance you need with the changes you wish to move past or perhaps away from in terms of family or origin definitions of yourself.

When I picked up the phone to call for help (it was a party line like what we had at our house).  My former boss from international banking was on the line asking me how my mother was doing.  He seemed unconcerned that the barn was burning to the ground and I needed help.  (He also never knew or met my mom in real life – she, my dad and Becky have all passed away).

The phone is a party line. It seems there are lots of aspects of your inner self who have something to say, or watching how you are going to act/react. Be that the accuser or the wounded self or the caring action giver, they are the multiple aspects of your ‘inner family’ listening and ready to weigh in. This segment indicates a combination of home and work situations that might have mimicked each other.

There seems to be a point where neither your family, nor your work colleagues were concerned about your needs….or at least you feel that from your own perspective. If all your family members have passed away, then it is trying to figure out your personal resolve with all of that. When all our family members are gone, and there is still residual feelings that need to be addressed, it can feel daunting because you can’t address it with them personally. You can however, speak your needs, concerns, anger and desires to them, and ask for their assistance as you rebuild your world. Or act is out with surrogate people you trust. Similar to Family Constellation Therapy.

The name Becky means beautiful, intelligent and loving. Do you feel those things towards yourself, or do you look for them outside the self as a measure of, and reassurance fro who you are? And mom and dad represent our caretakers. So the questions arises, “How do you take care of yourself and find those beliefs within yourself, moving forward that support and nurture your needs?”

Your boss was from the international banking system. Banks represent a place where things are stored, accumulated and portioned out. It is a system, which means you have created a system as the ‘boss of yourself’ where maybe you still harbor and need to change all the things both the barn and the fire represent to you personally…..and how you store, accumulate and portion that out to yourself.

Fast forward to the barn and my sister.  I have been praying that she come and visit me in a dream because everyone who has seen her in the dream said that she was radiant and beautiful and very happy in heaven. 

Everything  that her name represents, and everything she defiantly wants you to see in yourself, she sends your way with her glare. I believe she did come to visit you, to show you places within your self where you need to heal. Where you need to see the radiance and beauty and ‘heaven’ within your waking world.

She was sitting in the L shape of the barn drinking coffee with a cousin of mine.  They were unwilling to listen and were not going to move from where they were.  They were scoffing at me as I told the others that the barn was not finished burning.  Burning embers surrounded them. The energy felt like how it was when I was home.  Both Becky and cousin were ignoring me, as they continued to sip their coffee and look on with what felt like defiance. 

She is in the L shape….the place of turning a corner for something new or uplifting to occur. She has ‘turned a corner’ and passed into something larger than what she was here, even it was just her level pain. She and the cousin are reflecting where you might not be listening to yourself. Everything in the dream becomes a mirror for our own change. 

Drinking coffee represents that you need to have more information before you make some pending decision, and relax into yourself to come to the right answer.

Burning embers surround them, representing something within yourself that is beginning to emotional die down, so you can gain more composure or control over the way you wish for your life to truly be as you move forward in both thoughts and actions.

In real life, there was a group text where the cousins had plenty to say about what was happening with and to Becky, but no one cared to show up and lend a hand (while I was there).  Becky also seemed defiant or like she wasn’t listening to what I had to say.   Which is one reason I left feeling so guilty after her death.  Instead of just sitting there with her having coffee, I was scrambling to get things done.

It sounds like you need to forgive yourself for taking care of business for Becky, because she couldn’t. It’s that personal balance again between work and family which was likewise reflected in the second paragraph above. She needed things resolved and tied up before her death. That was something that although you feel you did it alone, without the help of other family members, you accomplished. You should be kinder to yourself with how you helped her bring to conclusion the loose ends in her life.

The other way to look at this is that you used work to deny your sadness and anger at her death. That is neither a criticism nor a judgment. It is a way that some of us all side step the deep emotions that arise in losing a family member. Some people are better at sitting and consoling, and others are better at working to make things secure. Both are important to aid the one crossing. You did your job, as there was no one else there who could.

So, I understand that the old and new parts of the barn are old and new parts of my life.  International Banking are from days gone by.  Even the new part of the barn (to me feels outdated).  Not sure how to tie all of the pieces together especially seeing my sister, Becky (for the first time since her death) and she was not radiant and did not seem real happy to see me or want to hear about the barn burning to the ground.

If you were looking at yourself in that scenario and not Becky….what would you have to say to you? Everything in the dream is what it is, and a reflection of something within ourselves.

Are you happy? Do you radiate? What do you wish others to help you with, or see within you for? What is outdated in your thought process of yourself? What is outdated in any residual feelings you hold against your outer family, as well as your “inner family.” These are all good questions to ponder.

BTW, in real life, the barn DID burn to the ground (after my dad died and we sold it).  The farm is located up the road from Becky’s house.  She lived in my grandparent’s original house which will now be put up for sale.

The barn was sold and now Becky’s house is being sold. Selling means moving away or moving on. And there is a road that leads from one to the other. If you consider what a house/home means in life, it is a place to feel safe, to live our life, to gather family, to ‘decorate’ how we choose to live; a place where we can relax and welcome those we care for. Selling the barn unburdens you from what ‘you have stored.’ Selling a house is a release from what burdens you from the past around family life that didn’t always meet your expectations or desires. If this were my dream, I would say there is a road that can take you to a new and happier place within yourself; a place of liberation. 






Dreaming within the Dream

In my dream, I am dreaming.

Gram often called these types of dreams, cross-over dreams. They are dreams that take us into multi or interdimensional places. When we become aware of a dream within in a dream, there is a piece of lucidity to the fabric of the dream. But unlike a lucid dream we do not have control over the dream’s essence.

Gram suggested that when we are taken into these deeper realms, we get to experience the multiple aspects of the greater Self that is occupying different, but equally ‘real’ dimensions of life and learning. These dreams can bring us into current, or ancient situations because time is not linear, it is circular.

As I am dreaming in the dream I feel the weight and sadness of the hard things happening in our world right now. Layers upon layers of sadness in the dream within the dream–these layers are things I am aware of (dapl, trump, the hurt of the Earth, colonization, fear in people, etc.) and also more ancient things that I have no words for.

To me, you have tapped into the deep pain and confusion of where so many find themselves in these times. This is an accumulation of energy that circulates in and around humanity and the Earth at this point. It is not aimed at any one thing, or person, but is the culmination of a world in chaos and a need for balance. Energy is malleable, it can be restructured.

By all religious, cultural, and ethnic historical accounts, it has been eons of work to grow in consciousness and learn to be accountable for the energy we put out. What we put out energetically is what we manifest, and when that is being done exponentially by masses of people, it gathers form. It is evident even by the most elementary standards, that humanity should have it more together at this point, than the cycles we keep repeating.

In the dreamstate we are closer to the essence of Soul, which is one’s essential divine nature plus the experiences we have learned across lifetimes, or perhaps in concurrent lifetimes?  I suggest you were tapping into the energy of global conscious thought, often more palpable in the dreamtime or meditative states, as well as one within yourself that weighs on you.

In the dream I am feeling depression and despair–I see nothing just feel all of this. When in my dream, a crystal is given to me. It is tangible and real, bright true orange and it is beautiful. Clear. It fits in my hand.

The weight of energy, when it is not of a higher or finer vibration feels dense. Despair, hurt, hate, sadness, betrayal, and all those concerns you mentioned above, are vibrating at a lower frequency. In a more refined or healthier state of vibration, you would not feel this as despair. That essence, or feeling, is a combination of what is within your field, and what is in the bio-field around us all.

The crystal is a reminder to be clear seeing, and to know that your destiny, whatever that is to be, is in your hands. The energy of chaos may affect you (as we are all interlinked in the web of life), but it cannot rule you, if you move beyond your despair by doing what it takes to maintain a higher vibration of your Self, personal equilibrium.

Orange on the Medicine Wheel, according to Gram Twylah, was about learning and doing through having both the drive and the aspiration to learn the truth. In her teachings, truth was never concretized as The Truth. Truth always was about new considerations because everything is in a constant state of change. Truth is different than moral awareness.

Bright orange crystals bring in the frequency of joy, merriment, overcoming sorrow, despair, grief and bringing people together. What we focus on, we will experience. Your higher self, your dream body, wants you to find the joy you are capable of feeling, within the information related to you in this dream.

There are 3 points I can see, but feels like there may be one in can’t see in my palm.

3 stands for Past, Present, Future; the triple God (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) or Goddess (muse, creatrix, wisdom); along with actions that lead us to awareness, growth, and transformation….but they all need a 4th thing, hidden from our view. That hidden 4th element is our faith. Faith cannot be seen, and is not something you can prove. You don’t gain faith as one of my teachers, the late Maya Perez told me, “You either have it or you don’t.” You have to have faith, even if you cannot currently see a better world around you.

So this begs the question: Do you have faith in yourself; in what you are being asked to do, both in this dream, and in your outer world? Given the crystal you were handed, faith could denote having the confidence and trust to bring people together, in small joyous ways, while learning to raise your personal vibration beyond the despair you see.

As I am waking from my dream, into the dream, I am in awe that a crystal has manifested in this way. A voice in the dream says, “This crystal is to bring joy and hope back when all feels lost. When you are overwhelmed. It will bring the people together.” With that I wake up and I am holding the crystal.

Awakening into the next dream is bringing you into another level of awareness through the continuation of the dream story. And, this is exactly what the vibration of orange crystals are used for. I would also suggest your dreaming self was instructing you to get an orange crystal that appeals to you, to help you maintain your balance as things swirl around you.

My indigenous grandmothers, despite their Native persuasion, always suggested, that you must first have the dream before it can manifest in your outer world.

And then my dream switches to the council. So many people. In circle. Lots of ages and races of this world and time but also other realms. It feels like a gathering of people that have come together to make plans for what to do in this new year.

I see this part of the dream as a gathering of souls, both in-body and throughout time. Souls from other frequencies are currently working with humanity. The ancients, and others we don’t even know about who were here before us, and those who have never incarnated, are all working together, as they have been doing for millennium. They share a common goal–to help direct humanity as we grow consciously in the understanding that light and love exist within every single one of us.

The ‘new year’, is only a metaphor for the continuation of what has been formulating across time and space and breath, since the beginning….and yet again.

The How we can save our Earth and heal.

The Earth will heal Herself, it is humanity that will either need to elevate in consciousness or become extinct. We have a choice, we have always had a choice. But as we are coming to the close of a 26,000 year cycle of evolution and encoding, called the precession of the equinoxes, what we consider ‘the time to awakening’ in this particular cycle, is fast approaching.   

As I become aware of the council I sense that I have been allowed to join it mid-session and that they have been there a long time. 

I don’t think this means you are a young soul. I think this means that in this life you are taking your place in ‘that circle,’, but all souls, at any time in their process of awareness, can join the circle. This might also mean you are at the mid-way point of your Earthwalk, or perhaps if all our lives are happening concurrently, that you have just awakened, on yet another level of attunement, to your place in this cosmic circle.  

There has been intense conversation. People have been arguing and are tired.

Yes, I can imagine that those souls working damage control for eons are tired. Humanity should be far more advanced by now, but we keep repeating the cycles of the dark forces, stimulated by abuse and greed, perceived lack and fear of our own dense realities, instead of moving beyond into the grace we are constantly offered.

I am new and feel shy so I turn to an older white man next to me a tell him I have this crystal and that maybe it could be used to help because it feels like exactly the type of moment my dream had told me about. He scoffs a bit at my suggestion and brushes me off.

No offense to the term older ‘white men’, because there are many great and compassionate ones, many advanced and conscientious ones, and it is significant that we do not always incarnate into the same gender or race, so at some point we have all experienced that vibration. However, it is clear at this time in history, that it is the mentality of the old paradigm, the symbology of ‘white man’ that has done so much damage to the Earth, and who scoff at those positing another position or perspective.

I had been talking quietly, so as to not draw attention to myself nor to speak to the whole group, but an old woman across the circle stands and addresses me and the whole group. Despite my quietness she has heard everything.

The Ancients and the wise ones hear everything, those helping who are not in body don’t need voice. Sound is a vibration, and vibrations ripples through the Universe. The Old Ones hold the vibration of love, which is measure or vibration of light, sound, and mathematics. The Universe vibrates in mathematics as measure, not as calculation. The Old Ones know because they inhabit the vibrations of light, sound and measure.

She is very old and short, a native woman. 

I think this comes to you as an old Native Woman because of your training, since you were little. It can also be seen as a representation of the Earth Keepers, the Ancients, the indigenous and/or those others who have much to teach, and have taught much through the ages. Still many do not listen.

She feels to me like she is from southern nations but I don’t know what that means exactly. I can tell from how people listen that she has been in council a long, long time and her words carries big weight. She says clearly to the man and me and everyone present that the crystal is indeed what I say it is. She names it. Saying it is a “squash crystal.” Or “squash stone.” That it is used to bring joy and hope back when times are dark and people feel that it is hard to go on. She says it calls the people together.

So once again the dream explains the use of the orange frequency, coming together, finding joy, and maintaining center. Squash is one of the 3 sisters, as you know, and squash blossom necklaces for native Peoples symbolized big power. The power isn’t in the ‘thing’ it is in the clarity of knowing joy is a vibration that needs to constantly find resonance within the human form, despite the despair and pain. That’s how we stand in our power.

She addresses all of you in the circle, because we all exist in that circle, that Web of Life, that Sacred Space, that Medicine Wheel. It feels like this is the ancient Earth Mother Herself, speaking to Her children.

She says it calls the people together. I look and she is holding it and then I look and I have it back in my hand and that is when I wake up. 

Mother Earth, our wise being-ness, that Conscious Self, is in each of us, it is in you…which is why the crystal is first in Her hand, and then back in yours. There is an infinite connection.

The simplicity of finding your spiritual center, and the difficulty of holding it, are one and the same-Faith. Jesus, was tested before he became the Christ; Siddhārtha Gautama struggled before he became the Buddha; Muhammad was persecuted before he became the Trustworthy. There have been many other women and men in all cultures and faiths across the ages that searched for balance, and all make up that circle we all sit in, each trying to awaken to joy beyond the human pain.  

All we can do, is our best and our best is all we have to offer each other. Consciousness and spiritual work is nothing if it is not implemented. There is no spiritual superiority in that statement, because that superior mindset likewise leads to a process of separation. Like the Old One said, “It is time to call the people back together.”

Thank you for sharing this powerful dream at this time.




A New Year to Learn More

Happy Solstice Blessings Dreamers. Solstice, where the darkest day turns back toward the light and the hours of sunshine begin to grow longer. Dreams are somewhat like this….a time to experience where the dark of our unconscious takes us, and bring those messages back upon waking into the light of a new day, with the purpose to en-lighten, reflect, and renew as our nocturnal messages continue to grow and become clearer.

I chose this dream for December’s decoding for two reasons. First, I greatly admired the man in the dream that this dreamer is speaking about, John Mack. He was a Harvard Professor, Psychiatrist, Pulitzer Price winner and directed a program called PEER, that spoke to anomalous and UFO experience research. He and his colleague helped make life make much more sense back in our work together in the mid-late 90’s. The second reason, is that through this particular dreamer’s passion and interest in the field of her own research around this topic (which dovetails with that of Dr. Mack), she has possibly made a connection to the inter-dimensional realms provided through the dreamtime experience, to touch something of a connection with the ‘spirit of John’ and a new opportunity for herself.

As Steve Richards shares in his dream and healing research, the Aboriginal “lore men,” knew that the dreamtime could access the internal dimensional world of all living things, through holographic kinetics. This offers an understanding of the internal to external and conversely the external to internal world of everything that exists in the world of living energy, including the spirit realms and as far back as creation. Although Steve’s process is used for healing work, what it holds in common with the dream below is not only that, “man can be understood as a multidimensional being in a multidimensional world,” but that under Universal Law “like attracts like,” be that emotions that need to be resolved, or in the case of this dreamer, desires that she would loved to have been experienced, or the possibility of being taken in a new direction of her own study. 

The Dream:

I think I had the dream around Dec. 1st, but life was so busy I just got around to writing it down today. I did tell xxxx about it that morning in detail, and I’ve thought a lot about it since I had it.

In the dream, xxxx and I were moving into a beautiful old University-Professor-like home that turned out to be John Mack’s house (!)

Dreams about houses oft times indicate something about ‘where we live within our self.’ In this case the dreamer, who is a researcher and a ‘professor’ of sorts around the same topic that John was a lecturer on, aligns her expertise to his.  She might also be doing more research on the topic, as this is a ‘university’ home, implying a place of learning.

There were a lot of people milling about and helping us, – a big gathering – and I didn’t really know how it had happened, but was very pleasantly surprised and kind of amazed. It was a gorgeous home and when I wondered how this happened I learned that xxxx and I had a one year lease.

The environment or emotion you put yourself in suggests a clear association to something in your waking world. In this case the dreamer has the help of alot of people to help her gather her thoughts, new information, and further research on a topic she holds dear. She has a one year lease. This would suggest to me, that she has about a year to research, or experience, with the assistance of a larger group–to possibly resolve something for herself, perhaps write another book on the subject, maybe to gather new information that she will use down the line. This one year lease tells me she is on a time frame.

It was very beautiful and elegantly finished. Maybe kind of a 2-story, Tudor style. Dark slate and wooden floors, leaded-glass windows, dark woodwork. (I have no idea what kind of house John lived in.)

She has commented in the past three sentences as to the beauty of this place; my sense is she likes the overall topic and where she finds herself in it. There is an elegance to both the topic and how she frames it, but a need for caution too. The 2-story Tudor style house and its parts, tells me that. [Tudor style houses followed Victorian gothic style houses]. The style was less ornate, more comfortable, and made of solid masonry and elaborately decorated stone. Implying the foundation of her study and beliefs is sturdy. However the lead glass windows suggests that there is a problem or heaviness with clear seeing, potentially blocking her strong insights or deeper possibilities/conclusions surrounding the research.

The number 2 on the Wisdom Wheels that Gram Twylah shared with me, is a placement of assessing the truth. I know that to be true about this dreamer, as well as the need to apply it to this topic. The dark slate and wooden floors gives an example on how solid she is in the foundational work on the UFO topic. Seeing slate in one’s dream can mean potential, solid information and knowledge; however dark wood or dark wood paneling suggests out worn ideas, or being stuck in time frame around a concept.

This could suggest that the research in this ‘university’ home will push the dreamer into some new ideas around the subject. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t know the type of home John lived in, this is about her and not at all about him being the focus, he merely implies a camaraderie with the topic. 

The basement was mostly unfinished, fairly empty with a few construction materials around and sheet-rocked walls. However, it also had a walled off and beautifully finished guest room with big windows – daylight basement open to the back because it was built on a slope.

The basement is about going deeper into our subconscious and our unconscious or even the unknown. It’s unfinished because her thoughts and research on this topic are not finished yet, there’s more to know. There are sheet rock walls, sheet rock implying that something is not solid or finished, and walls implying there might be an old way of thinking that needs to be flushed out and changed for a different or broader perspective.

There is a beautifully finished guest room that is walled off with big windows. I interpret this as the dreamer has concretized something that will soon change. It is  a safe and  beautiful place for her to go within, but the light from the big windows (windows are doorways to the soul) inform her that something uniquely new in her thinking, or perhaps a new way of perceiving the topic will emerge.  

Down from the house were a couple of outbuildings. I was shown inside one of them that was for disturbed children, boys I think. It had some blocks and toys, was kind of messy and had orange walls.

Knowing this topic as intimately as I do, I know that there are satellite or fringe groups that take this topic to the extreme; that’s what the disturbed boys represent. In each of us, our divine masculine (lower case d and m), reflects logic, discipline and focus. But here it is messy. Orange on the Wheels indicates learning, focusing, and concentration. The color of the walls is a reminder for the dreamer to apply all these mental skills to the research, and not be lured to believe everything others say about this topic.

The fact that they are disturbed suggests that there are those commenting on this research that are playing with facts (toys) and need to establish a firmer foundation (building blocks), as to what they are suggesting or sharing. The dreamer is shown this to help her discern those possibilities, or aspects in her research, and to assess for herself what she continues to learn surrounding this topic.

I walked by another building on the way back up to the house that seemed to be associated like with the one I’d been in, but didn’t go in it. Needed to get back to the main house.

This shows she has come across these situations, be they ungrounded people within the topic, unfounded explanations of the topic, or unrealistic explanations beyond this topic. She is not distracted by them as she doesn’t go into another outbuilding that holds similar warnings. Her main goal is to get back to the ‘main house’, her understanding and her own solid foundational research.

Seems like there is a kind of party going on.

A party suggests new discoveries and/or people that can be met in social situations. It is a sign of exploring emotions, inviting in new situations, and enjoying oneself in the process.

Happy Holidays to all you dreamers, no matter how you choose to celebrate. Blessings  to you & yours as we enter 2017. Till next month….dream on!!!