Does Reality Mimic the Dream, or does the Dream Mimic Reality?

When dealing with dreams it is important to remember a few things. For all of us, the dreamer is the one who has created the dream symbology, and so it is an important clue to them, both in context and how it is framed within the dream. Why are you dreaming of these particular symbols? And what do they have to do with what your life has, or is experiencing? What is your dream body trying to impart to you? It is also imperative that one looks beyond the dream, as it is not always about the specific dream symbols, those are simply ‘bread crumbs’ to a deeper inner knowing that is trying to come to light.

Last night, I dreamed that the barn I grew up in was burning to the ground. 

Barns are associated with real life settings. They are where you store things, work, build things, possibly cultivate things, and clean up the muck. Burning and fire can imply many things in dreams. It can mean passion, or the need for it. It can mean something all-consuming in your life. It can mean something within you needs that needs to be recognized to be completely transformed. In relation to the barn, it can mean the hard work you are doing needs a new outlet. It can also mean there is emotional conflict or unresolved anger at what the barn represents to you personally.

There was an old section and new section to the barn (kind of in an L shape).  I was running around telling people to get out and was trying to get a hold of the fire department. 

There is an old way of feeling, and new way of being with your past and/or your work. L shape means at right angles, there is a significant change now in either your work or how you feel about a family situation. You are running trying to get people to leave and call the fire department. The fire department symbolizes the part of yourself that can “answer the call,” and take care of what needs to be done.

This is trying to find balance between being in control, and finding the assistance you need with the changes you wish to move past or perhaps away from in terms of family or origin definitions of yourself.

When I picked up the phone to call for help (it was a party line like what we had at our house).  My former boss from international banking was on the line asking me how my mother was doing.  He seemed unconcerned that the barn was burning to the ground and I needed help.  (He also never knew or met my mom in real life – she, my dad and Becky have all passed away).

The phone is a party line. It seems there are lots of aspects of your inner self who have something to say, or watching how you are going to act/react. Be that the accuser or the wounded self or the caring action giver, they are the multiple aspects of your ‘inner family’ listening and ready to weigh in. This segment indicates a combination of home and work situations that might have mimicked each other.

There seems to be a point where neither your family, nor your work colleagues were concerned about your needs….or at least you feel that from your own perspective. If all your family members have passed away, then it is trying to figure out your personal resolve with all of that. When all our family members are gone, and there is still residual feelings that need to be addressed, it can feel daunting because you can’t address it with them personally. You can however, speak your needs, concerns, anger and desires to them, and ask for their assistance as you rebuild your world. Or act is out with surrogate people you trust. Similar to Family Constellation Therapy.

The name Becky means beautiful, intelligent and loving. Do you feel those things towards yourself, or do you look for them outside the self as a measure of, and reassurance fro who you are? And mom and dad represent our caretakers. So the questions arises, “How do you take care of yourself and find those beliefs within yourself, moving forward that support and nurture your needs?”

Your boss was from the international banking system. Banks represent a place where things are stored, accumulated and portioned out. It is a system, which means you have created a system as the ‘boss of yourself’ where maybe you still harbor and need to change all the things both the barn and the fire represent to you personally…..and how you store, accumulate and portion that out to yourself.

Fast forward to the barn and my sister.  I have been praying that she come and visit me in a dream because everyone who has seen her in the dream said that she was radiant and beautiful and very happy in heaven. 

Everything  that her name represents, and everything she defiantly wants you to see in yourself, she sends your way with her glare. I believe she did come to visit you, to show you places within your self where you need to heal. Where you need to see the radiance and beauty and ‘heaven’ within your waking world.

She was sitting in the L shape of the barn drinking coffee with a cousin of mine.  They were unwilling to listen and were not going to move from where they were.  They were scoffing at me as I told the others that the barn was not finished burning.  Burning embers surrounded them. The energy felt like how it was when I was home.  Both Becky and cousin were ignoring me, as they continued to sip their coffee and look on with what felt like defiance. 

She is in the L shape….the place of turning a corner for something new or uplifting to occur. She has ‘turned a corner’ and passed into something larger than what she was here, even it was just her level pain. She and the cousin are reflecting where you might not be listening to yourself. Everything in the dream becomes a mirror for our own change. 

Drinking coffee represents that you need to have more information before you make some pending decision, and relax into yourself to come to the right answer.

Burning embers surround them, representing something within yourself that is beginning to emotional die down, so you can gain more composure or control over the way you wish for your life to truly be as you move forward in both thoughts and actions.

In real life, there was a group text where the cousins had plenty to say about what was happening with and to Becky, but no one cared to show up and lend a hand (while I was there).  Becky also seemed defiant or like she wasn’t listening to what I had to say.   Which is one reason I left feeling so guilty after her death.  Instead of just sitting there with her having coffee, I was scrambling to get things done.

It sounds like you need to forgive yourself for taking care of business for Becky, because she couldn’t. It’s that personal balance again between work and family which was likewise reflected in the second paragraph above. She needed things resolved and tied up before her death. That was something that although you feel you did it alone, without the help of other family members, you accomplished. You should be kinder to yourself with how you helped her bring to conclusion the loose ends in her life.

The other way to look at this is that you used work to deny your sadness and anger at her death. That is neither a criticism nor a judgment. It is a way that some of us all side step the deep emotions that arise in losing a family member. Some people are better at sitting and consoling, and others are better at working to make things secure. Both are important to aid the one crossing. You did your job, as there was no one else there who could.

So, I understand that the old and new parts of the barn are old and new parts of my life.  International Banking are from days gone by.  Even the new part of the barn (to me feels outdated).  Not sure how to tie all of the pieces together especially seeing my sister, Becky (for the first time since her death) and she was not radiant and did not seem real happy to see me or want to hear about the barn burning to the ground.

If you were looking at yourself in that scenario and not Becky….what would you have to say to you? Everything in the dream is what it is, and a reflection of something within ourselves.

Are you happy? Do you radiate? What do you wish others to help you with, or see within you for? What is outdated in your thought process of yourself? What is outdated in any residual feelings you hold against your outer family, as well as your “inner family.” These are all good questions to ponder.

BTW, in real life, the barn DID burn to the ground (after my dad died and we sold it).  The farm is located up the road from Becky’s house.  She lived in my grandparent’s original house which will now be put up for sale.

The barn was sold and now Becky’s house is being sold. Selling means moving away or moving on. And there is a road that leads from one to the other. If you consider what a house/home means in life, it is a place to feel safe, to live our life, to gather family, to ‘decorate’ how we choose to live; a place where we can relax and welcome those we care for. Selling the barn unburdens you from what ‘you have stored.’ Selling a house is a release from what burdens you from the past around family life that didn’t always meet your expectations or desires. If this were my dream, I would say there is a road that can take you to a new and happier place within yourself; a place of liberation.