Dreams with Dreams

Cobb: “You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream and fill it with their subconscious.”

Ariadne: “How can I ever acquire enough detail to make them think it is a reality?”

Cobb: “Well dreams they feel real while we’re in them right? It’s only when we wake up that we realize that something was actually strange.”                                                               (From the movie Inception, a great movie about the dreamtime if you have never watched it.)

Hello Dreamers,

In typical fashion another month of travel and teaching is coming to an end with no blog post. It appears (although the ‘blog maesters’ say to do two a month), that I am destined to currently only squeak in one a month, and I need not to fret and just be grateful for that.

So today’s dream decoding is from someone I know. You will see somethings referenced specifically to what I know she was going through. Specific names she used will be obscured for anonymity.  These are typical of the dream sessions I have with clients, using their dreams to decode and bring clarity, to what they are balancing or trying to deal with in a life situation.

Her dream was a series of dreams within dreams. These types of dreams are an interesting way for your subconscious to change both time and context to get your attention. They can be disconcerting because you often think you have woken up, only to find yourself in another dream segue being bombarded by similar information or symbols. It not only is meant to stretched the dreamers original thoughts on something, but from another view point it might be a diversion to mirror the way one is diverting themselves from looking at something in their waking life. So is this a matter of gaining perception/perspective on a vital issue you must confront and not ignore; or are you compartmentalizing something instead of giving it your full attention? Sometimes these types of dreams can seem so real, that when you add a component of fear, the dreamer awakes very confused, disoriented, and often in a panic.

The dream:

Hello my dear Sandy! I hope you are well and your day is going smoothly so far. I really appreciate you squeezing me into your busy day but this one really knocked me on my ass. When your higher self is trying to get your attention, it sends nightmares or scary segues of a dream to “wake you up.” It’s not that something bad will happen, it’s just that your dreamscape is trying to caution you about something in your outer world that you are either not paying attention to, or perhaps need to awaken to.

So from what I can piece together is that I was trapped by some evil force in a perpetual dream state. Gram Twylah used to call these a ‘dream within a dream’. They often seem so repetitive and out of our control, that they grab our attention to follow a theme. So what in your current life are you not paying attention to. Not because you are unconscious or unaware, but simply because you have too much going on and no time to center yourself? Well the wedding would do that. Not that you are not supposed to get married, but possibly you are supposed to be slowing things down so you can “smell the roses.” It’s over way too fast and the pomp and circumstance leading up to it can often pull us off center. So breath, work out, do yoga, take a walk, maybe meditate; your Higher self is trying to slow your waking self, down a bit.

I am forced there as some form of torture, but I don’t know for what crime I was being punished. When we realize we don’t “know something in the dream” it’s because we are not listening to ourselves, and that is “the crime.” And it becomes torturous to repeat patterns that don’t serve us, because they keep us in a perpetual state of looking our instead of looking in.
At one point I was on a train, literally on top. Trains in dreams suggest that we are on “the right track,” that we are moving forward. Being on top of the train, indicates you are trying to stay on-top of things as they all move around you. Jung also suggested ‘train dreams’ often meant that the dreamer is not finding their own way forward in some aspect of their current life and/or possibly has chosen a conforming route for the sake of others. He also suggested that sometimes motion dreams sometimes could be a disguise for wish fulfillments around sexual needs. So my question to you, in bringing this into session would be: Are you feeling that some part of your wedding is out of your hands/control and that you are trying to please everyone else with some of the choices and decisions? And in this build up to the wedding, have you and (XXXX) continued to take time for just the two of you, to insure that what brought you to this place to begin with, is still being nurtured. Maybe it has been hard to just get some peaceful intimate times alone with everything going on?

and I asked someone I knew for help (I don’t remember who exactly it was, but I remember feeling like I could ask this person for help to get me out) There are people who can help you, but you have to ask… but also know who is not who they appeared to be; in other words be discerning about who you ask. As one or two may have other motives beyond what you are asking for; not everyone who claims they are there to help may well have other motives for their own means. If this were my dream, I would look to family. Who is authentically there for me, and who is not. I know your family has a lot of power plays amongst themselves, and you may be tricked into thinking they are offering something out of their love for you, where instead it is a play for power over. Think uncle, grandmother, maybe even how you are tricking yourself, etc. but a creation of my captors tricked me into thinking I was able to find a way out. There is always a way out when we don’t conform to well, conformity 🙂
I was tricked into multiple “waking” scenarios, There are multiple things going on in your life, where again (no judgement) your wedding might be being used as a power play amongst other family members. Make it your own, be true to yourself & (XXX), and turn to your mom, she is there for you. You will have multiple cues and clues so that you don’t stay entrapped in a dynamic that serves no one.

where I was tricked into thinking that I was awake but I was still trapped. I kept trying to fight my way out and eventually started striking out in any way I could. I knew that I was dreaming and for some reason I thought if there was pain it would knock me out of itThis is the dream self, the subconscious trying to bring all this to the surface for your consideration. Pain, like a bad dream is merely to bring our attention to something that needs healing, or possibly for us to stop and consider the way you are going about it. What pain are you in with this new way of life? Who are you striking out at? Why do you welcome pain as a way out?
Here’s where the fun starts
Eventually I was in a place where I had one heavy restraint on each wrist, holding me down, Restraints on our wrists is someone trying to over-power us or gain dominion over us. They are also on lung/heart lines in acupuncture and denote you need to breath, relax, and stay centered in your heart and I started flipping rolling to the left and right from side to side, striking at whatever I thought was holding me down. This is your fear that no matter which way you turn, you might disappoint someone, so you take the pain on yourself, to no avail and don’t make the decision you need for yourself.
Eventually I realized that the thing in my right hand was a baby’s forearm. The right hand is about taking our power with grace, a baby’s forearm could mean that since you were a baby, the family has fought over you. but it was soft and pliable, like a plastic doll’s arm (cabbage patch size). And maybe even though you have been aware of this fact, for your own reasons you have been soft and pliable to their power plays? [side bar, in this scenario it does not mean you are pregnant, nor that you would be mean to your baby….this is being done to you.]
Once I realized that I was indeed beating a baby in order to free myself, and felt the horror of what I was doing, that’s when I woke up, gasping for breath. One possibility is that you have been beating yourself up since you were little about keeping everyone in the family happy. Now you need to make some calls on your own and take a stand for yourself. You are also astrologically just coming out of your Saturn return and getting married. You are no longer a child after this transit, you now step into adulthood with all your own wants and needs. And although you will always be someone’s daughter, grand-daughter, niece, etc. You are now your own adult, and your dreaming self wants you to stop beating up on yourself.

Of course when I woke up in my own bed, I thought I was still in the dream world, and I was terrified that I would never be able to tell the difference again. You were coming out of a hypnogogic dream stage…..and my teachers have always asked, which is more real, the dreamstate or the waking state? 🙂 something to ponder. Who is directing whom? In the dream body we have a much vaster sense of self and options that we don’t take in waking life can be considered in our dream state, because we are not bound by time or space.
I called out for (XXXX), who was sleeping on the couch. He came in, and held me as I started to catch my breath, and then I began to sob uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. That is a somatic-emotional release, and all very normal for the ‘fear and flight’ response of the reptilian part of the brain. Horrified at what I had done and terrified that I was still trapped. Look to where you might be feeling trapped or something seems out of your control, in your waking state.

(XXXX) kept telling me that it was okay and it was a dream. Once I was able to get my breath I was able to tell him that I actually thought that any minute he could turn away, turn back and have some demon face. Eventually I was able to calm down enough to stop crying, but I still couldn’t sleep for almost an hour. Thinking he would mirror a demon face back to you, I would have to ask where you ignore your own inner demons. We often project that onto our partners, and that is a slippery slope.

Here’s what I think I have so far. Starting a new chapter of my life which includes marriage, I think I’m feeling the fear that once I’m married a huge amount of my independence will be gone, and I won’t enjoy the liberties I do now, which is certainly not true. But that’s what I think I got out of that. Counter-intuitively, I think you will be more independent, and the captain of your own ship. As a couple you two will make your own decisions, not the family, which you need to complete this wedding….and grateful you have another captain on board (XXXX), who will help steer it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. You both just have to remember that if only one steers the ship, we get tired (of our self, each other, and life), so sharing, honest communication, love & self-love, forgiveness when one’s been at the helm too long, and finding that integration point again, is what it is all about. 🙂
I look forward to talking to you tonight! If you have more questions after this, feel free to ask….and have a blessed wedding.

 

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My Dream/s

I will be decoding 2 dreams today, one for the time lost in April, and the second to celebrate the first day of May.

First Dream:

So had a dream this morning before I woke …. I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around. We were outside talking at one point and then I am alone. I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color. I thought: This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

Suggestions: I will be making suggestions simply from emotional impact

I was at ‘school’ or some other institutional type building, but it was open and other people were around.

This suggests that you are trying to learn something, or feel you haven’t learned something well enough. Institutional would suggest a rigid form of needing to learn, or having learned something.  The fact that it was open, with others around, may suggest you are open to learning new concepts around an old rigid form, or experience. 

I look up and see … a chair with a parachute attached in a green color.

You look up-you are willing to look at this situation from a higher perspective. There is a chair with a parachute and the color is green. The chair recommends that you sit down and contemplate a situation, and the parachute indicates that you are ready to bail from how you are currently thinking about something. If this rigid thinking around an area in your life is holding you back, the parachute also suggests that you will land safely, should you confront this belief within yourself. It is green in color. This can imply a couple of things. This belief you have might have been ingrained in childhood; or you need to use right will, not willfulness, to deconstruct this old out-worn pattern, to enable you to construct a new, more fruitful way of looking at and experiencing your life. 

This is from an Army jeep and didn’t think much else. Then shortly after that the jeep is in the sky as if blown up from somewhere. Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂

This in may ways is a second reminder that rigidity will not serve. Jeeps generally indicate that you need to take more action, move your body more, have more fun and be able to cover many ‘terrains’ to do that. However, this is an army jeep, and the army signifies rules, rigidity, and a discipline that can diminish fun. Question: Where in your life are you too rigid with yourself, or perhaps do not move outside your self-imposed confines or definitions, essentially making you keep repeating what you wish to change? I ask because you are being too ‘passive’ about  looking at where you can change what you don’t like about your life situation.

Again I am outside, passive, not feeling any reaction (a bit unlike me 🙂 A few minutes later many jeeps and parts, etc. are being sent in to the air a short distance away (nothing seems to be ‘threatening’ me.)

Now your dream (your subconscious) has your attention. As if to underscore the situation, the dream starts to hurl many jeeps and parts into your dreamscape. The jeeps and all the parts represent that which can assist you to find the answers you seek, when you break down the rigidity you use to stay passive to your situation by not taking action to bring change. You are not threatened because all the changes are in your own hands. But what will you do to promote the changes you seek?

The strangest thing about the dream was, well for one thing — no sound at all. No blowing up, no crashing, just …. visual. And, also, I know I had this EXACT dream not that long ago — recent weeks.

There is no sound. You are not listening to yourself. All visual. You see what it is you need to change, but are you? There is no blowing up or crashing. This doesn’t have to be difficult or painful. And you had the exact dream a few weeks back. Your subconscious is trying to motivate you to take action and move forward, while this is still under yours own volition and control. 

 

Second Dream: I will be making suggestions simply from the symbology

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything. I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside. I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back. I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

I get off the red line because I realize that I missed my stop. I look around to see where I am but I don’t recognize anything.

I would suggest that you feel you have missed out on something in your life, and it has to do with trust, and the ability to speak out about your needs. When you try and apply what you know to make changes or move forward, you don’t recognize what you need to do to resolve the confusion that brings up for you. I assume you are talking about a train here. Trains have to do with conformity, and conformity often has to do with adhering to what others say and think. However trains are also about moving forward (and sometimes backwards), as they have the ability to do both.

I try getting to the lower level but there doesn’t seen to be a way to get there. I walk outside and am thinking maybe the way to get on the inbound side is outside.

You try and go deep into your past or your psyche, working on yourself to see if you can find the way to change what you feel within, but you can’t seem to find a way inside yourself to get the information, or the self-trust you seek. So you attempt to go ‘outside yourself’ to try and find the answers to what you are feeling inside yourself.

I run into some young boys and ask then where I am – they say wrath – I say I never heard of that and asked him to repeat it. He says the same thing. I am puzzled but I continue to look for the redline back.

You ask the under-developed ‘protective’ side of yourself (the young boys) where you are at. They tell you clearly that you have to get in touch with your anger, your ‘wrath’ around something. You have never heard of it, so chances are you have never authentically experienced it. You ask them to repeat the word because you are puzzled, and again they tell you that to resolve where you are trying to go, that first you have to touch your anger. Question/s: How do you express anger? How do you feel about authentically feeling angry? What are you angry at that still doesn’t feel resolved? Does feeling puzzled allow you to ignore anger and not tap the emotions that would actually help you move down “the line?”

I hear a train but it is going the wrong direction. I can see. Silver train going in the right direction but the lower level is all blocked off and I can’t get to it.

You have a sense of ‘hearing’ (possibly from your self or others) what it may take for you to move forward, but it is not going in the direction you want to experience. Because you have labeled “trusting yourself and speaking your needs” as the “wrong direction” to take, it may also suggest that not feeling the depths of your anger, has not actually served you in your quest to trust self and communicate openly and confidently with others.

The silver train is going in the way you would like to experience, but again it is all blocked off on the lower levels. The ‘lower levels’ again represent what lies deep within your subconscious or psyche; and as yet, you haven’t been able to find your answers there. The color silver, as I have been taught in many traditions, has to do with the Moon, aspects of one’s femininity, the throat chakra, speaking up, intuition, and the protective energy that aligns peace and/or resolve around an issue.

Even if you currently do not feel clear as to how you will tap the emotion of anger, the aspects represented by the ‘silver train’ that you admittedly would like to experience, are representative of the strength and protection you will gain moving forward. To feel the ‘silver’ (all those feminine expressions that you wish to trust in yourself), and to bring balance both internally and externally into your life, will not be diminished or taken away if you authentically come to grips with anger, those attributes will only expand.