Cobb: “You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream and fill it with their subconscious.”
Ariadne: “How can I ever acquire enough detail to make them think it is a reality?”
Cobb: “Well dreams they feel real while we’re in them right? It’s only when we wake up that we realize that something was actually strange.” (From the movie Inception, a great movie about the dreamtime if you have never watched it.)
In typical fashion another month of travel and teaching is coming to an end with no blog post. It appears (although the ‘blog maesters’ say to do two a month), that I am destined to currently only squeak in one a month, and I need not to fret and just be grateful for that.
So today’s dream decoding is from someone I know. You will see somethings referenced specifically to what I know she was going through. Specific names she used will be obscured for anonymity. These are typical of the dream sessions I have with clients, using their dreams to decode and bring clarity, to what they are balancing or trying to deal with in a life situation.
Her dream was a series of dreams within dreams. These types of dreams are an interesting way for your subconscious to change both time and context to get your attention. They can be disconcerting because you often think you have woken up, only to find yourself in another dream segue being bombarded by similar information or symbols. It not only is meant to stretched the dreamers original thoughts on something, but from another view point it might be a diversion to mirror the way one is diverting themselves from looking at something in their waking life. So is this a matter of gaining perception/perspective on a vital issue you must confront and not ignore; or are you compartmentalizing something instead of giving it your full attention? Sometimes these types of dreams can seem so real, that when you add a component of fear, the dreamer awakes very confused, disoriented, and often in a panic.
Hello my dear Sandy! I hope you are well and your day is going smoothly so far. I really appreciate you squeezing me into your busy day but this one really knocked me on my ass. When your higher self is trying to get your attention, it sends nightmares or scary segues of a dream to “wake you up.” It’s not that something bad will happen, it’s just that your dreamscape is trying to caution you about something in your outer world that you are either not paying attention to, or perhaps need to awaken to.
So from what I can piece together is that I was trapped by some evil force in a perpetual dream state. Gram Twylah used to call these a ‘dream within a dream’. They often seem so repetitive and out of our control, that they grab our attention to follow a theme. So what in your current life are you not paying attention to. Not because you are unconscious or unaware, but simply because you have too much going on and no time to center yourself? Well the wedding would do that. Not that you are not supposed to get married, but possibly you are supposed to be slowing things down so you can “smell the roses.” It’s over way too fast and the pomp and circumstance leading up to it can often pull us off center. So breath, work out, do yoga, take a walk, maybe meditate; your Higher self is trying to slow your waking self, down a bit.
I am forced there as some form of torture, but I don’t know for what crime I was being punished. When we realize we don’t “know something in the dream” it’s because we are not listening to ourselves, and that is “the crime.” And it becomes torturous to repeat patterns that don’t serve us, because they keep us in a perpetual state of looking our instead of looking in.
At one point I was on a train, literally on top. Trains in dreams suggest that we are on “the right track,” that we are moving forward. Being on top of the train, indicates you are trying to stay on-top of things as they all move around you. Jung also suggested ‘train dreams’ often meant that the dreamer is not finding their own way forward in some aspect of their current life and/or possibly has chosen a conforming route for the sake of others. He also suggested that sometimes motion dreams sometimes could be a disguise for wish fulfillments around sexual needs. So my question to you, in bringing this into session would be: Are you feeling that some part of your wedding is out of your hands/control and that you are trying to please everyone else with some of the choices and decisions? And in this build up to the wedding, have you and (XXXX) continued to take time for just the two of you, to insure that what brought you to this place to begin with, is still being nurtured. Maybe it has been hard to just get some peaceful intimate times alone with everything going on?
and I asked someone I knew for help (I don’t remember who exactly it was, but I remember feeling like I could ask this person for help to get me out) There are people who can help you, but you have to ask… but also know who is not who they appeared to be; in other words be discerning about who you ask. As one or two may have other motives beyond what you are asking for; not everyone who claims they are there to help may well have other motives for their own means. If this were my dream, I would look to family. Who is authentically there for me, and who is not. I know your family has a lot of power plays amongst themselves, and you may be tricked into thinking they are offering something out of their love for you, where instead it is a play for power over. Think uncle, grandmother, maybe even how you are tricking yourself, etc. but a creation of my captors tricked me into thinking I was able to find a way out. There is always a way out when we don’t conform to well, conformity 🙂
I was tricked into multiple “waking” scenarios, There are multiple things going on in your life, where again (no judgement) your wedding might be being used as a power play amongst other family members. Make it your own, be true to yourself & (XXX), and turn to your mom, she is there for you. You will have multiple cues and clues so that you don’t stay entrapped in a dynamic that serves no one.
where I was tricked into thinking that I was awake but I was still trapped. I kept trying to fight my way out and eventually started striking out in any way I could. I knew that I was dreaming and for some reason I thought if there was pain it would knock me out of it…This is the dream self, the subconscious trying to bring all this to the surface for your consideration. Pain, like a bad dream is merely to bring our attention to something that needs healing, or possibly for us to stop and consider the way you are going about it. What pain are you in with this new way of life? Who are you striking out at? Why do you welcome pain as a way out?
Here’s where the fun starts
Eventually I was in a place where I had one heavy restraint on each wrist, holding me down, Restraints on our wrists is someone trying to over-power us or gain dominion over us. They are also on lung/heart lines in acupuncture and denote you need to breath, relax, and stay centered in your heart and I started flipping rolling to the left and right from side to side, striking at whatever I thought was holding me down. This is your fear that no matter which way you turn, you might disappoint someone, so you take the pain on yourself, to no avail and don’t make the decision you need for yourself.
Eventually I realized that the thing in my right hand was a baby’s forearm. The right hand is about taking our power with grace, a baby’s forearm could mean that since you were a baby, the family has fought over you. but it was soft and pliable, like a plastic doll’s arm (cabbage patch size). And maybe even though you have been aware of this fact, for your own reasons you have been soft and pliable to their power plays? [side bar, in this scenario it does not mean you are pregnant, nor that you would be mean to your baby….this is being done to you.]
Once I realized that I was indeed beating a baby in order to free myself, and felt the horror of what I was doing, that’s when I woke up, gasping for breath. One possibility is that you have been beating yourself up since you were little about keeping everyone in the family happy. Now you need to make some calls on your own and take a stand for yourself. You are also astrologically just coming out of your Saturn return and getting married. You are no longer a child after this transit, you now step into adulthood with all your own wants and needs. And although you will always be someone’s daughter, grand-daughter, niece, etc. You are now your own adult, and your dreaming self wants you to stop beating up on yourself.
Of course when I woke up in my own bed, I thought I was still in the dream world, and I was terrified that I would never be able to tell the difference again. You were coming out of a hypnogogic dream stage…..and my teachers have always asked, which is more real, the dreamstate or the waking state? 🙂 something to ponder. Who is directing whom? In the dream body we have a much vaster sense of self and options that we don’t take in waking life can be considered in our dream state, because we are not bound by time or space.
I called out for (XXXX), who was sleeping on the couch. He came in, and held me as I started to catch my breath, and then I began to sob uncontrollably for about 15 minutes. That is a somatic-emotional release, and all very normal for the ‘fear and flight’ response of the reptilian part of the brain. Horrified at what I had done and terrified that I was still trapped. Look to where you might be feeling trapped or something seems out of your control, in your waking state.
(XXXX) kept telling me that it was okay and it was a dream. Once I was able to get my breath I was able to tell him that I actually thought that any minute he could turn away, turn back and have some demon face. Eventually I was able to calm down enough to stop crying, but I still couldn’t sleep for almost an hour. Thinking he would mirror a demon face back to you, I would have to ask where you ignore your own inner demons. We often project that onto our partners, and that is a slippery slope.
Here’s what I think I have so far. Starting a new chapter of my life which includes marriage, I think I’m feeling the fear that once I’m married a huge amount of my independence will be gone, and I won’t enjoy the liberties I do now, which is certainly not true. But that’s what I think I got out of that. Counter-intuitively, I think you will be more independent, and the captain of your own ship. As a couple you two will make your own decisions, not the family, which you need to complete this wedding….and grateful you have another captain on board (XXXX), who will help steer it with you, so you don’t have to do it alone. You both just have to remember that if only one steers the ship, we get tired (of our self, each other, and life), so sharing, honest communication, love & self-love, forgiveness when one’s been at the helm too long, and finding that integration point again, is what it is all about. 🙂
I look forward to talking to you tonight! If you have more questions after this, feel free to ask….and have a blessed wedding.