How Do I Love Thee?

This month’s dream blog will be shorter than usual, because it’s a short dream. Short dreams can sometimes be even more impactful than marathon dreams.

I want to speak to one thing prior to decoding this dream sequence. One of the most important things I feel that I have seen in my work, both as a shamanic practitioner and as an integrative coach, is how much we all miss the opportunity to examine what could be the biggest love affair in our lives. By that I mean the messages, meanings and merging of one’s own Divine Masculine/Divine Feminine; Inner Goddess/Inner God; Yin/Yang; or whatever other combo name you wish to use.

These are not polar opposites, as we have often been taught to believe, for that separates who we intrinsically are at a soul level. Being attentive to both aspects offers an opportunity to enliven and balance the full essence of our Self. There is no exclusion really, other than our inner rejection or our outer projection onto someone else. It is our Inner Alchemy that allows us to seal the wounds between the two forces, so that we are rewarded by revealing ‘all we are.’ It is only then that we can offer more of who we are in an outer relationship, should one desire, and no matter the gender, age or circumstance we choose.

The Dream
I am driving through torrential rains. The road I am driving on has collected water that is almost 4” deep. I am heading to a gas station, but I think it is only an excuse to see someone that I have a pseudo crush on? I run inside and ask if I left my gray sweater there. ‘He’ is at this altar space he has created, cutting flowers and putting them in vases. He is obviously angry with me and says, “I love you. Everyone knows I love you, but you continue to ignore me.” I am hesitant, embarrassed and confused all at the same time. I leave.

Note: I am not involved with anyone, and haven’t been for a long time, but the feelings wake me up.

The Decoding:

I am driving through torrential rains. The road I am driving on has collected water that is almost 4” deep.

Torrential rains can indicate that one is going through alot of emotional turmoil or a deep cleansing period. Rain is water; water indicates emotions; and torrential implies that the emotions are coming at one so quickly that they haven’t as yet been labeled or interpreted fully. The person is driving, suggesting they are in control of how they are pacing themselves in navigating these emotions.

The road suggests the dreamer has a path she is following, but that path is “collecting water” meaning maintaining that direction is getting harder to traverse emotionally (either consciously or unconsciously). The water has collected to almost 4″ deep. Ironically 4 in the tarot is the Emperor, and in its higher elevation is someone who is a strong leader, dynamic and constructive. And, 4 in numerology is related to being strong willed, builders, and service. It is also associated with the planet Uranus, which has a distinct character of it’s own, being both unpredictable and liberating. And 4 on the Wisdom Wheel is about motivation and insights. Aside: As dream’s are want to do, I see a set up coming, LOL

I am heading to a gas station, but I think it is only an excuse to see someone that I have a pseudo crush on? I run inside and ask if I left my gray sweater there.

Heading to a gas station implies the dreamer needs to “refuel” to be able to keep going the way she has, in her outer world. The dreaming self is showing her that she has made excuses to explore deeper feelings, “a crush.”

She runs into the station and asks if she has left her gray sweater. Gray on the Wisdom Wheels implies she needs to assess if she is truly honoring herself, her life, and her desires, as she proceeds down the road of life. Gray as a color palette in psychology indicates ‘compromise’. It is neither black nor white; it’s unemotional and detached. This is completely opposite than the feelings she runs into the gas station with, a “crush.” Sweaters represent protection and a need for warmth. The dreamer is experiencing an inner conflict, that she may, may not be ready to address in her outer world. 

‘He’ is at this altar space he has created, cutting flowers and putting them in vases. He is obviously angry with me and says, “I love you. Everyone knows I love you, but you continue to ignore me.”

The ‘He” can represent her inner divine masculine (or potentially a man she has yet to met externally), I do not know the dreamer so I would leave this to her to assess. For the decoding, I am going with her inner male. He has created a sacred space, an altar. He is putting flowers in a vase to adorn the sacred space, suggesting he can offer beauty (flowers) and structure (the vase). Flowers can indicate happiness, good fortune, and in some representations they can also indicate the female organ.

He, this untapped (or as yet un-discovered person) aspect of herself, is indignant and upset that she doesn’t know how much she is loved. How much she is ready for love. Possibly where she excludes a concrete, pioneering, unexpected part of herself who is ready to incorporate a fuller sense of Self. And this can also be a precursor to an outer relationship on the horizon, even though she doesn’t seem to be looking for one.

I am hesitant, embarrassed and confused all at the same time. I leave.

She is in conflict, and her dreaming self has shown her very clearly where her waking work lies. This is a wonderful dream of introducing yourself to yourself.

Thank you dreamer for sharing.

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